TALK DIRTY TO ME, CAPTAIN!

"Spock, this isn't working."

"What is not functioning well, Captain?"

"This chess-game of ours. I can't think straight tonight."

"Is there anything I can do to be of assistance?"

"I doubt it. I doubt it very much."

"Try me."

"I don't think so, Spock. It's just... Let's just say there hasn't been a shore-leave for too long."

"I am afraid I do not understand. Perhaps you should be more specific."

"I think I need some female companionship, if you catch my drift?"

"There are plenty of females on the Enterprise. I am quite certain they would not mind spending some leisure time with you, if you asked them."

"It's not appropriate for me to indulge in such activities with my crew, Spock."

"What kind of activities would that be exactly, Captain?"

"You know...."

"I am afraid I do not."

"Come on, Spock. You're being more than normally obtuse today."

"Obtuse? I do not believe so. However, I do not understand your preference of speaking in riddles. I would suggest that you, as McCoy is so fond of saying 'spell it out' for me."

"Oh."

"You seem shocked, Captain."

"Well, uh... you don't normally seem inclined to discuss these matters, that's all."

"What matters?"

"You know. Women.... Sex..."

"If you are referring to the Vulcan cycle. We are not discussing the pon farr at this moment, Captain."

"Uh, I think it's safe to call me Jim right now, Spock. This conversation is getting rather.. personal."

"Not yet. I am still having hopes that it will be, however."

"You wish me to tell you right out what I want?"

"Indeed."

"All right, Mr. Spock. You asked for it. I need myself a good, long and intense fuck. I haven't gotten laid in months. And it's driving me nuts."

"Really, Jim? What exactly is it doing to you?"

"Uh, I'm not sure I like that glint in your eyes, Spock."

"I think you do like it, Jim. Do you not?"

"Uh...yes."

"What does my looking at you thus do to you?"

"It's..."

"Tell me, Jim. What does it do to you - exactly?"

"..."

"Tell me."

"It's... making me want to have sex."

"With anyone?"

"No... it's...*you're* making me hard, Spock."

"I am arousing you?"

"Yeah."

"How does it manifest itself, Jim?"

"I'm getting horny."

"Be more specific."

"I'm really hard - leaking already in fact. Would you like to help me with my problem, Spock?"

"Yes, Jim. I believe that I would."

"Oh! God, Spock."

"My touch is pleasing to you?"

"If you keep doing that, I'm going to come too soon."

"You do not like this?"

"Yeah, I think... I think I like it too much."

"That is satisfactory."

"Oh, good grief, Spock. I had no idea."

"Of what, Jim?"

"God, I didn't know I wanted you ... oh..... Your hand is so hot."

"It is approximately 2.7 degrees warmer than your sex, Jim."

"It feels much hotter. Yeah, touch me like that. Harder, Spock."

"I find that I enjoy hearing you speak like this, Jim. Do continue."

"You like dirty talk, Spock? ...oh.... yes, oh my GOD."

"Dirty talk?"

"Yeah, you like hearing me tell you what this... oh yes... what your touch... does to me?"

"Indeed."

"I'm going to come soon."

"Fascinating."

"Why don't you put that gorgous mouth on me, First oifficer. I think you'd like the results."

"I believe I shall enjoy the taste."

"Oh god, yes. Suck me Spock."

"Only if you reciprocate, Jim."

"Oh yeah. Anything. Just, do it... Good god, Spock. Your mouth is so hot,so wet.... oh God... I'll suck you, I'll fuck you. I'll do anything you want. Just... Oh *yeees*!"

END