Dukat turned and assessed the youth. "What can I do for you young man?"

"I've…I've got a little problem. My ship came in for repairs, I met this girl… and… well… she left me with a present of the STD kind. My mother's the CMO of the Enterprise and I just CAN'T let her know."

Dukat clenched his teeth in an effort to keep a straight face. "Why me?"

"I heard you had experience with this." Wesley cringed. *That sounded 'really' bad.*

Dukat placed his hand on the back of Wesley's neck and asked purringly. "Who told you this?"

"Major Kira."

"Exact words." Dukat encouraged increasing pressure like a vice.

"That you've probably had every STD there ever was and no doubt started a strain or two of your own."