Title: After Genesis
Author: Slasherfem
Characters: K/S
Rating: G
Summary: Spock's thoughts after the Fal Tor Pan in ST III.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, we love them. They take the credit and the cash, we'll take what's left; we're not proud!

Last night I dreamed that
I held you close,
Your blond head
Resting on my chest,

As we lay together
In my bed,
Warm and happy
In each other's arms.

I've been having this dream
Since I saw you on Mount Seleya
And remembered
Who you were.

Now tell me, Jim:
Are these dreams memories?
Or only the fantasies
Of my hungry heart?

You say that we were friends.
But if this is so,
Why do I feel so lonely
At night without you?
Why do you smile
More often at me,
Than at the others
You say are also my friends?

And why am I starting
To feel restless, irritable,
And discontented with this
Strict regime of the healers?

It seems they won't be satisfied
Until they have retrained me
To be A Perfect Vulcan
In my father's image.

But I would rather
Explore my past with you,
To see if it included you
As more than my friend.

So tell me, Jim:
Were we friends?
Or were we
Something more?

Were my feelings mutual?
Or strictly one-sided?
If so, then
On whose side?

I won't be satisfied
Until I know the truth.
You yourself
Have told me

That I valued truth
Above all things.
My heart tells me
That I also valued you

Above all things,
My friend of friends.
Did you value me
The same way?

Or was I merely
"The best first officer
in the fleet" to you,
As McCoy keeps saying I was?

Please tell me, Jim:
Were you--are you my bondmate?
And was I--am I yours?
And can we be again?

Have you--will you let me kiss you?
And did I--can I hold you close?
I see in your eyes
You do not fear me.

Can you see in my eyes
How I feel about you
Beneath this impassive
Vulcan exterior?

You have helped me
To remember so much.
Will you now help me
To remember how I loved you?

If I loved you.
If this love that
I dream about nightly
Is a true memory,

Or just a fantasy.
If it is,
Would you share it
With me?

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