Author: snarry_addict
Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Disclaimer: The boys are JKRs not mine. *cries*
Feedback: coffee_bean_addict@yahoo.co.uk
Beta: Rakina (Has my undying gratitude for offering to beta at ridiculously short notice.)
Archive: Part of the From Dusk till Dawn Severus Snape/Harry Potter Fuh-Q-Fest at http://www.kardasi.com/HPSS/storyindex.htm
Challenge: Part of the ‘Not here! Not now! No magic!' Wave. It doesn't matter where or when Severus Snape and Harry Potter meet for the first time as long as it is NOT the way it happened in the books.
“Harry, I would like to introduce you to Professor Severus Snape. Severus is a Potions Master and a professor at Durmstrang. He is also a valued member of the Order and an expert on the Dark Arts. The members of the Order have decided that now that you have finished your schooling at Hogwarts Professor Snape is going to be tutor you on more advanced Dark Arts.”
Harry nodded courteously at Snape and held his hand out, surprised by how warm his pale elegant hand was when they shared a firm handshake. Dumbledore smiled at Snape indulgently for a moment before saying.
“I'll leave you two to get acquainted and organise your training schedule.”
He turned to leave, but paused for a moment to add.
“And Severus… play nicely. It wouldn't do to have you damaging the boy on your first encounter.”
Severus quirked an eyebrow.
“Of course Albus, when am I ever anything but nice?”
Dumbledore merely chuckled in reply and pulled the door closed behind him, leaving the two men alone in the room.
Harry stared at Snape for a long moment. He had seen him before of course, in Voldemort's visions, but the man he saw before him now was nothing like the man he had seen through Voldemort's eyes. The man before him was tall and brooding, his strong features set in a determined gaze. Everything about the man was regal and imposing; completely at odds with the slavish bowing and scraping Harry had seen from him when he was in Voldemort's service.
“Well Potter, I suppose we should begin.” Snape said briskly.
“It's an honour to meet you Professor” Harry said, finding his voice unexpectedly tremulous with nerves. Seeing Snape prostrate at the Dark Lord's feet was no match to seeing him now, his authority and elegant grace evident in every movement of his hands, every intonation of that delicious voice.
“Sycophantic fawning will you get you nowhere with me, Mr Potter. Although at least now I can see why McGonagall and Lupin speak so highly of you, I can well imagine you in the role of shameless flatterer during your time at Hogwarts.”
Harry grinned suddenly, his eyes sparkling. This version of Snape was magnificently acerbic, something he would never have anticipated given how masterfully the man had acted the role of obsequious servant to Voldemort, kowtowing to his every whim with barely a whisper of acceptance.
Determined to give as good as he got with surly Potions Master, Harry flashed him a sardonic smile and casually countered.
“Hmm… I'm not sure dragging my second year Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher into a basilisk's lair and then obliviating him with a faulty wand counts as sycophancy.”
Harry felt a rush of satisfaction as he saw a glint of amused recognition flare in Snape's eyes.
“Ah yes, the erstwhile celebrity/teacher Gilderoy Lockhart, well I'm sure not even you could stomach being that vapid imbecile's minion.”
Harry laughed momentarily at the apt description of his ex-professor before swallowing his humour, determined to make his declaration to Snape.
“Actually I wasn't merely engaging in meaningless lip service…”
Snape snorted derisively but Harry ploughed on regardless, ignoring the interruption
“…nor was I commenting on your reputation preceding you. I really am pleased to meet you because I wish to thank you personally.”
Snape kept his face expressionless although there was a hint of suspicion in his voice as he inquired.
“Thank me personally for what exactly?”
Harry paused, carefully considering how to explain himself. After a moment he took a deep breath and then pushing aside his fringe he pointed to his scar
“This… the infamous scar… it doesn't just act as a beacon for the morons who stare as though I were some exotic animal in the zoo… it also acts as a link between myself and Lord Voldemort.”
He halted again, cautiously crafting his words in advance before speaking. There was no anticipating how Snape would react to the knowledge that Harry witnessed first hand the torture and humiliation he felt at Voldemort's hands. He knew he probably should have said nothing, and yet he couldn't supress his indomitable Gryffindor mentality pushing him to openly acknowledge the sacrifice that the taciturn man before him had made on his behalf
“I am often crippled by visions of Voldemort torturing his victims.”
There was another pregnant pause as Harry contemplated how much to reveal
“Alongside witnessing the visions I also feel the effects of Lord Voldemort's curses as he casts them.”
Snape looked momentarily taken aback by the information, before his face quickly reverted to its carefully controlled neutral expression.
“I am thanking you for saving my life. I saw how Voldemort tortured you for your failure to complete the version of Imperius potion he had been planning on dosing me with over the Christmas break during my seventh year. By stalling the completion of the potion you allowed his window of opportunity to slip by.”
Harry swallowed audibly feeling a sudden unwanted blush colour his cheeks as he glanced at the walking cane in Snape's left hand.
“And I know what it cost you.”
For a moment Harry was gripped by the disturbing memory of the night when the ranks of Death Eaters had surrounded Snape, Voldemort's words ringing in their ears as they laid into one of their own with hexes and physical violence. “ Do what you want with this failure, but do not kill him or damage his hands… he is useless without his hands.” The torture has gone on and on relentlessly with Voldemort contributing a well-timed Crucio every time he felt his Death Eaters were beginning to ease off. Harry had thought by the end of it that the Death Eaters had gone too far, as Snape lay as silent and unmoving as a corpse on the bloodied ground. However a vision a month later had confirmed that the man had survived, although he now had a constant reminder of his ‘failure' - his left leg was permanently damaged leaving him with a walking cane and a slight limp. Even more disturbing had been Snape's grimace of pain that first night he returned, as he bowed to kiss the hem of the Dark Lord. Harry shivered and fell silent, glancing up at Snape but the elder man's expression was unreadable.
“It was my duty as a spy for the Order. Just as it is now my duty to teach you the full repertoire of dark magic you will need at your disposal to defeat the Dark Lord.”
“Nevertheless, I wanted to thank you.”
Snape seemed to accept this, replying with a simple nod before stalking over to a chair by the fireplace. Harry was once again amazed by the sheer physical presence of the man, his robes billowing around him, not even his limp diminishing his impressive stature. Quickly pulling off his cloak and voluminous robes Snape turned to Harry and without so much as a word of warning threw a powerful hex towards his new student
“Petrificus Totalus”
Harry's instincts, now honed by several bloody skirmishes, reacted just in time to avoid the curse, and he dove out of the way of the spell. Grabbing his wand he uttered a shield spell just in time to prevent Snape's next hex from hitting its target. Leaping to his feet he aimed at Snape and shot off a haphazard
“Locomotor mortis”
Snape almost lazily shot off the counter curse, before responding with another devastatingly powerful curse of his own.
For the next half an hour Harry and Snape duelled before the professor finally managed to best the exhausted Gryffindor. Shaking with fatigue Snape finally took a seat and waited patiently for Harry to recover.
“Wow!” Harry said, panting. “…and Owww.” He rubbed his aching body and drew himself to his feet on precariously wobbly legs.
Snape glanced at Harry appraisingly.
“Your duelling skills are far sharper than I had expected, but you still have a very long way to go. Tomorrow we will commence expanding your knowledge of the Dark Arts.”
Harry yawned, simply nodding his assent before trekking exceedingly wearily towards the door. Pulling it open he said goodbye without even looking back over his shoulder, not even managing that one word without it being interrupted by another yawn.
“Night”
“Goodnight Mr Potter.”
Harry was already a few steps into the corridor before he called back.
“Call me Harry.”
***
Harry stood in the doorway of the makeshift laboratory that had been constructed in Grimmauld Place and for a few moments simply watched the beautiful sight of the man he was in love with masterfully performing his craft. Harry smiled unconsciously as he watched Severus' long graceful hands deftly chopping the remaining ingredient for the potion before he carefully added it, stirring the concoction with exactly the right amount of force and for the precise duration required. His actions were a ballet of movement, every single gesture as effortless as breathing. Allowing himself the faintest of sighs Harry crossed the threshold and was finally acknowledged by the object of his affections.
“Harry…” Snape began, his voice a curious mix of terse resignation. This was the eighth day in a row that Harry had come down here immediately after his afternoon strategy session with Sirius. Harry noted the tone but smiled in spite of himself; after weeks of constant persistence Snape had finally relented and now called him by his first name. Just hearing his name in that rich chocolaty voice was heaven, even when it was said in that irked tone of voice.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Harry interjected suddenly and grinned mischievously. Snape paused and then looked at Harry curiously noticing the black school robes he was sporting, completely different from the plain muggle jeans and a shirt he usually wore.
“I know you don't want me to help out in the lab…”
Snape sighed and was about to come back with one of his customary icy retorts when Harry cut him off.
“… even though you know full well I got an Outstanding in my Potions NEWT.”
Snape rolled his eyes.
“As I've mentioned previously, what Professor Callaway deems to be outstanding undoubtedly differs greatly from my own opinion.”
Harry put up his hand to halt Snape before he could go off on his usual tangent about how Harry had all the grace of an inebriated hippogriff and therefore could never aspire to be a great potions maker. Snape dutifully paused and Harry continued.
“But today I have a secret weapon with me. You won't be able to deny me after this.”
Harry waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Snape sighed with exaggerated exasperation, trying his very best to ignore the flare of heat in his belly at the flirtatious tone of Harry's voice. Over the past few weeks Snape had been finding it harder and harder to ignore just how incredibly appealing his protégé was, especially when the young man in question seemed to go out of his way to spend time with him and often surprised him with the sort of innuendo he would have expected to hear spouting from Dumbledore's mouth. He found it more than a little disturbing that he could be falling for a man 20 years his junior, a fact compounded by the knowledge that the man in question was none other than Harry ‘bloody' Potter, son of one of the damned Marauders that had made his life such a misery. Still, he could not deny his physical attraction to the man; indeed, he had recently had several incredibly arousing dreams in which the young Mr Potter was the star.
“Oh yes?” Snape said warily
Harry beamed and then said cheekily.
“Close your eyes.”
“What?” Snape demanded incredulously. “Mr Potter, what in Merlin's name do you think would make me do something so foolish as to voluntarily close my eyes thus depriving me of my most valuable sense. I have not survived nearly twenty years as a spy by doing something so ridiculously…”
“Oh come on Severus. It's just for a moment and besides we both know that you have more than enough magical sight to be able to sense any possible danger lurking in the near vicinity.”
Snape crossed his arms and gathered together his sternest, most withering expression, the one that could wilt steel, but not even his patented death glare seemed to deter Harry. He sighed, wondering yet again how Harry managed to simply brush off his cutting sarcasm and piercing glares. It wasn't as though his little friends were immune, in fact during a particularly fierce dressing down after a carelessly thrown hex Ron Weasley had looked as though he was about to wet himself and that Granger girl had seemed equally intimidated. But not Harry.
“Please. Just for ten seconds.”
Snape sighed and wondered how much of the afternoon would be wasted if he attempted to argue the point with Harry.
“Fine, you have exactly ten seconds. But this had better be impressive, Potter.”
Shooting one last frigid glare at Harry he closed his eyes listening intently as he waited, counting upwards steadily. He heard Harry withdraw his wand and mutter two quick spells under his breath. Taking a deep breath, Severus opened his eyes.
Harry stood before him, his old school robes spelled from sombre black into a rather sickening shade of neon orange with purple and green stars, whilst offered in his left palm was a small dish of lemon drops.
“Fancy a lemon, drop dear boy?” Harry said with an almost passable impression of the great Albus Dumbledore.
Snape bit his quivering lip desperately, his shoulders shuddering with his suppressed laughter. Harry waggled his eyebrows again and suddenly Snape couldn't hold it anymore and he dissolved into laughter, the deep resonating sound of his mirth filling the room.
Harry's face glowed as for the first time he heard the rich baritone of his mentor's laugh. He gazed at him, trying to commit this picture to memory. Did Severus have any idea how beautiful he looked when he laughed? Harry doubted it. He placed the bowl of sweets down on the side and unspelled his robes before pulling them off.
“I figured anyone who knows Albus well enough has been on the receiving end of that routine, and well… it always seems to work for him anyway. One minute I'm sitting in front of his desk being offered a lemon drop, the next second I'm signing on for some harebrained suicidal scheme a lemming wouldn't even consider.”
Snape's laughter finally died down and he smirked at Harry.
“Sounds familiar.”
After a few last chuckles, he took a deep steadying breath and stood up straight before looking into Harry's expectant face, ready to once again put the boy in his place. But instead of a giving the boy a much needed rebuking he somehow he found himself agreeing to Harry's offer of help.
“All right, I will let you assist.” he said grudgingly. “But only with the preparation of the ingredients.”
Harry's face immediately split into a gigantic grin and he rolled up his sleeves eagerly.
“That's fine by me.”
Shooting Snape another one of those glances that left the older man feeling more than a little hot under the collar, Harry added,
“I'm more than happy to do whatever you want.”
“Impudent boy.” Snape huffed, but Harry could see the half smile still lingering on his lips.
***
Harry trudged through Grimmauld Place, knowing where his feet would take him, where his feet always took him when he was in need.
Tonight had been the worst battle yet - Ron was still being treated in the temporary hospital set up at the sickbay in Hogwarts, although Pomfrey had assured him his best friend would make a full recovery in no time. Even though they had captured two of the more high profile Death Eaters, it had not been without loss. Tonight two aurors and Dean Thomas, Harry's close friend since the days of Dumbledore's Army, had fallen - more victims of Voldemort's bloody campaign.
Finally Harry reached the lab and he found Severus where he could always find Severus on nights like these, leaning over a cauldron throwing himself into his potion making in an attempt not to think about the battles being waged elsewhere. Tonight Severus had been spared the need to fight, although Harry knew tomorrow night his mentor might not be so lucky. As soon as he entered the room he saw Snape's face jerk upwards and was instantly comforted by the wave of relief he saw in the older man's eyes as he gazed upon Harry.
Snape stood still as Harry walked over to him, waiting for him to speak but instead of words Harry simply walked up behind Severus and slid his hands around the man's slender waist and then leant his head against his shoulder blades, taking in a deep breath of the man's unique scent. Severus seemed to stiffen for a moment before relaxing, letting Harry hold him.
“We lost three of ours today.” Harry mumbled into Severus' robes tiredly.
Severus was silent for a moment before asking in a tight voice.
“Who?”
“McKinley, an auror whose name I never even learnt and Dean Thomas… you met him once, he's a member of the DA… was a member…”
“I'm sorry Harry.” Snape's voice was filled genuine sorrow.
“We captured two of theirs, Nott and Dalgleish, but there were many more Death Eaters there, the rest all escaped.” Harry's voice suddenly began to choke and his words became strangled with emotion. “There was a moment… a moment when…”
“You don't have to talk about this right now Harry. It's okay.” Severus said gently.
Harry cleared his throat before continuing.
“No. I have to say this. I have to get this out.” He paused again before continuing with more determination this time: “There was a moment when I was surrounded and I thought I might not make it.” Harry felt Severus stiffen noticeably under his grasp and he hugged him tighter for a moment to reassure him. “It was the closest I've come to dying since the night I faced off against Voldemort in the graveyard.”
Harry took another deep breath before plunging onward, obviously resolved to get through what he felt he had to say.
“But I thought to myself – I have to survive. I have to survive so I can go home to Severus.”
Harry swallowed audibly.
“It's what keeps me going each and every battle. Knowing I have to survive so I can come back to you.”
Harry pulled away then, releasing his arms from around Severus' waist, before gripping his hips and turning Severus around to face him. Severus let himself be directed by Harry, and Harry could feel the older man shivering very slightly beneath his hands. Harry looked into Severus' eyes, holding his gaze although it took every ounce of his Gryffindor bravery to do so.
“I love you. I've loved you since the day I met you I think. I want to be able to come home to you. To really come home to you.”
It was Severus who broke their eye contact then, dipping his head downwards, and when finally he spoke his voice was as quiet as Harry had ever heard it.
“Harry… I am twice your age, and a washed-out, ugly Death Eater. We couldn't possibly… be… together.”
He stammered out the last part, and coughed slightly, still resolutely staring at the floor as if all the answers to the world were written upon the stone tiles beneath their feet.
Harry sighed and then removed his hands from where they had been placed on Sev's hips, Sev flinched almost imperceptibly at the loss of contact but he had no time to ponder Harry's rejection because instead of pulling away Harry moved even closer to Sev and reached out to take each of his hands in his own.
“Severus, our respective ages are… irrelevant. In one hundred years time I'll be 118 and you will be 138 and no one will care. And as for being a washed-out, ugly Death Eater… you are a brave, incredibly talented, magnificently handsome, self sacrificing spy for the side of light.”
Severus shook his head remorsefully, and Harry sensing his disbelief suddenly released one of Severus' hands and reached upwards to cup the elder man's chin, forcing his face upwards again to meet Harry's gaze.
“You are truly amazing Severus. And I won't let anyone slander the man I love. Not even you.”
He smiled at Severus, his expression so full of hope and longing, that it completely undid all Severus' carefully constructed arguments in an instant.
“Severus… you know I always get my way in the end. I'm just too damned persistent. One of my more damnably irritating Gryffindor qualities…. Well… I know that we'll be together. I know you'll give in eventually and let me love you. So since it's inevitable, could you perhaps give in tonight?”
He gave a half hearted cheeky smile, but beneath his bravado his need was clearly evident.
“I need you tonight Severus. Please. I need you more than I have ever needed anything or anyone. Please.”
Without waiting for a reply Harry slid the hand that was holding Sev's chin up along his jaw line and into his silky black hair, pulling his face towards him. The sensation of their lips meeting after so many months of wanting sparked a contented moan from Harry and he gently caressed his mentor's lips with his tongue until he was greeted with a soft sigh that allowed him entrance to the man's mouth. This kiss was hot and wet and possessive and passionate and utterly, utterly perfect. It made him forget about the battle that night. It made him forget the war. It made him forget about everything except the man in his arms. Eventually he pulled away, gazing heatedly at Sev and was thrilled to find a matching look of lust in those entrancing dark eyes. He leaned in closer to Severus and pressed his hard erection against the elder man's thigh.
“I want you… now.”
Severus' eyes flickered briefly with an indecipherable emotion before he took Harry's hand and led him through the deserted corridors of Grimmauld Place to his room.
***
Harry's agitated gaze swept the room for the hundredth time that night, even though he knew it was pointless. He wasn't going to be here. He'd known that before he'd even arrived, but still somewhere in the back of his mind, in some unguarded dark corner of his heart he had allowed himself a sliver of hope that Severus would be here. But he wasn't, of course. The man had completely disappeared six months ago, only turning up once a month to provide a member of the Order with Remus's wolfsbane potion.
The first month Severus had simply flooed unexpectedly into Lupin's house and handed over the potion with barely a word. So the next month Harry had patiently lain in wait for his arrival only for Severus to apparate directly into Luna Lovegood's house and give her the potion to pass on to Remus. From then on Severus had been delivering the potion to different Order members apparently at random, always making sure that no-one could keep him for more than a minute or two before he disappeared back to wherever he was squirreled away. It had been Arthur Weasley's turn this month to be the courier for the wolfsbane potion. When Harry had quizzed him about it Arthur had simply said that Severus had assured him he was fine and had looked alright to him. What no one could understand however was why Severus hadn't been to see Dumbledore. Avoiding everyone else, including Harry, wasn't that much of a surprise but simply shutting Albus out of his life was something no one had expected and Harry knew that it had hurt Albus deeply when Severus hadn't even said goodbye.
Turning his attention back to the party Harry sighed as he saw Blaise Zabini, his onetime high school paramour, squeeze through the throngs of people to reach him. He'd been playing hide and seek with him all night, not that the overly eager idiot had noticed. Harry sighed and reminded himself it was his own fault anyway.
Harry had reconnected with Blaise three weeks ago; well if going to Blaise's flat a few times and fucking counted as ‘reconnecting'. Harry had been tired and lonely and Blaise had just been there at the right place at the right time, or possibly at the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way, Blaise was obviously under the impression that what was happening between them was more than a casual fling and Harry had found himself wracked with guilt, trying hard to find a way to extricate himself from the situation without hurting his old friend.
“Enjoying the party?” Blaise asked breathlessly.
Harry nodded and made a stab at smiling enthusiastically although he guessed it probably came out as more of a grimace. He'd managed quite successfully to act fairly graciously all evening, even though he believed that celebrating the sixth month anniversary of Voldemort's defeat was nothing but a farce. Who celebrated the sixth month anniversary of anything? It was all just an excuse to have another piss-up under the pretext of the Dark Lord's demise whilst the Daily Prophet took photos of all the War Heroes looking glamorous and happy. Harry for one was sick of it and longed to rip off the suffocating suit he had worn for the occasion. He caught Blaise's perturbed expression and tried to have another go at smiling, this time getting closer to the mark if the relief on Blaise's face was anything to go by.
“Blaise could you possibly get me another drink. I'd go myself only I'm trying to avoid being waylaid by Rita and her entourage again.”
“Of course Harry. Whatever you want.”
Disappearing back into the crowd Harry watched him go, and once more felt the familiar painful ache in his chest as he imagined what Sev would say in response to Blaise's submissive behaviour.
“Shouldn't you have him on a leash Potter? After all we are in mixed company and I'd hate to see him make a mess of the carpets by getting overexcited.”
God he missed him. Every single day he found his thoughts leading him back to Severus, imagining where he was, trying to figure out why he had left. Harry had given up searching for him two months ago, finally listening to Sirius' advice that with Severus' experience as a spy if he didn't want to be found he wouldn't be. So reluctantly Harry had admitted defeat and had stopped deluding himself that he could track down his former lover since he so clearly didn't want to be uncovered from wherever he was hiding. Since then Harry had tried to listen to everyone's advice to get over it and move on but there were still so many unanswered questions that he found it impossible. It still galled him that Sev hadn't even bothered to break up with him in person, just sent him that stupid note. Harry's face twisted into a grimace as he remembered the note, an impersonal memo telling him that Severus was bringing their ‘acquaintance' to an end since he had fulfilled his duty in preparing Harry for facing the Dark Lord. Harry still didn't know if Sev had considered sleeping with him part of his duty or whether that had merely been a welcome bonus. Either way he hadn't had a chance to ask since the damn man had been completely avoiding everyone since the final battle. It was still a source of constant hurt that Severus wouldn't even come out of hiding once, just once, to give Harry a chance to reason with him. Harry sighed and forcefully stopped himself from following this particular avenue of thought, knowing where it would lead him.
Glancing at his watch he mentally calculated how bad it would look if he left now, before deciding that he didn't care how awful it looked. He had done his job, been paraded for the cameras, had fun catching up with Ron and Hermione and now he was more than ready to go home. Knowing that what he was doing was a little mean, especially to Blaise, he lifted his wand and cast a quick Mobilato Obscuro spell over himself. The spell, a handy little charm he had found in a dusty book in Grimmauld Place, didn't render the user invisible but instead created a strong magical suggestion not to look in the direction of the user. If Harry kept to the edge of the room as he crept out he was sure no-one would notice his early exit. Working quickly he skirted the walls of the conference room and was soon striding out the building's exit into the refreshing silence of the cold night air.
He had only just reached his apparating point when he felt a sudden instinct grip him and he whipped out his wand, but was just a shade too slow to defend himself against a lightning fast ‘Expelliarmus' that threw his wand from his grasp. Cursing himself for being so lost in thought that he had been so easily ambushed, he was about to try and fend off his attackers with a few wandless hexes when he felt someone grab him from behind and wrap their arms around his waist. Realising a second before it happened that he was about to be forcibly apparated to an unknown location Harry did the only thing he could think of. Summoning every last ounce of magical energy he let it out in one powerful invisible burst of wandless magic. Albus was still inside at the party and he knew the old coot would feel it, even if no-one else did. He was sure Albus would be able to put two and two together once he got down here and felt the residual magic of a double apparation. Before he could even recover from the draining expulsion of so much magic he felt the familiar sensation of his body being sucked into a vacuum as he was apparated away.
***
Harry lurched forward as he recovered from the disorientation of being apparated unexpectedly. He rounded on his attackers and was about to unleash a wandless ‘Expelliarmus' when we was roughly shoved backwards into a cell. The moment the door fell shut he felt a sudden wave of sensory blackness overcome him as his magical power was completely suppressed. A wave of panic gripped him and he raced towards the door, pounding on it angrily even as the sounds of laughter and footsteps died away. Taking a deep calming breath he took stock of the situation. He had been ambushed, had his wand taken and he was in a cell that suppressed his magical ability. On the other hand, his attackers didn't seem in a hurry to finish him off, he had sent off a warning that he was sure Albus would notice without his kidnappers realising, and once he got out of here he had more than enough ability at wandless magic to make a good escape attempt.
Having quickly and effectively calmed down his panic he turned around to examine the cell he was being held captive in. It was then that he noticed the cell's other occupant, sitting in the far corner. His back was to the wall, his arms wrapped around his knees which were brought up to his chest, his head hidden from view, buried in his arms.
It took less than a second for Harry to recognise the tall dark figure, even with his face hidden from view. A thousand emotions all rushed him at once, fury that Snape had been captured too, fear that he had been hurt and annoyance that it had taken a kidnap attempt by Death Eaters to finally get the two of them in a room together.
Harry took a step into the room, and waited for Snape to look at him. Eventually his patience wore thin and so he said bitterly.
“Finally bested by a couple of second rate Death Eaters.”
Harry sighed deeply, waiting for Sev to look up at him, feeling his rage mounting as his former lover refused to even meet his eyes.
“I mean I've been trying to track you down for six god-damned months. How did they even find you?”
His voice was rising as his temper escalated. For a moment Sev said nothing before mumbling into his knees
“I don't know…”
“Do you have any idea how hard it's been?! How much I've wanted to talk to you?”
Harry's chest was heaving with anger. Dimly in some rational part of his mind he knew this was completely the wrong time and place to have this conversation but he couldn't seem to stop himself. Six months of frustration pouring out of him in one explosive torrent.
“Would you look at me?” he hissed.
Very suddenly Harry felt every single drop of anger race from his body, to be replaced with a cold implacable dread.
“Sev, why won't you look at me?”
Harry watched as Sev's shoulders slumped even further.
“Sev?”
Harry walked the few steps separating them and dropped to his knees. Placing his hands around Sev's skull he attempted to tilt his face upwards so he could see Severus' face. Severus resisted weakly for a second before finally giving up and letting Harry manhandle him.
“Oh my God.”
Harry couldn't keep the shock from his voice as he gazed on his emaciated former lover. Sev's face was frighteningly thin, his eyes hollow. He looked like the walking dead, a wraith.
“How long have you been here?” Harry asked, his voice no louder than a whisper.
“Two days.”
Harry shook his head in confusion.
“Then why are you so…?”
Harry unthinkingly slid his hands around Severus' back and pulled him into his chest, kissing the crown of the elder man's head over and over again, muttering soft reassurances. Sev couldn't help the lurch of guilt he felt when he found he was unable to stop himself simply melting into the comforting embrace.
“Sev, tell me what's wrong. Why are you so thin? What happened?”
Harry felt a sudden realisation hit him.
“Arthur said nothing about you being ill when he saw you three weeks ago. He would have mentioned it if you looked anything like this…”
Harry's voice trailed off as another realisation struck:
“You've been using glamours, haven't you?”
Harry sounded one part frightened, one part pissed off.
“Why, Severus? What's happening to you?”
“Nothing.” came the sullen reply.
“Nothing? So there's no reason why you're walking around like a living skeleton.”
Harry grabbed one of Severus' arms and pulled back the sleeves of his robe and shirt to reveal a stick thin bony limb.
“So there's absolutely no reason why you look to have lost fifty pounds in the last six months?!”
Harry looked at the dangerously thin arm in his grasp and suddenly noticed the inch long scar running along the wrist. He dropped Sev's arms as though scalded and backed away suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.
“That's a… that's a…..a… bonding scar isn't it? An old magic bonding. You're… you're married…”
Suddenly the nauseous feeling in his stomach twisted and writhed and he ran to the opposite corner of the cell where he retched up the contents of his stomach. Sev watched helplessly for a moment before burying his head in his hands once again. After a long time Harry's voice cut through the tense awkward silence
“Who is he? Do I know him?… On seconds thoughts, I hope I don't know him. I don't think I could Avada Kedavra someone I know.”
His voice trailed off into contemplative silence before he spoke again, and this time his voice was filled with panic.
“Is it a he? It is a he, isn't it? Please God, don't tell me you had sex with me just for the sake of duty when you don't even…”
Harry began to hyperventilate clutching his head in his hands.
“Yes Harry. It's a man.”
Severus lifted his head from his hands and looked over to Harry and repeated even more loudly.
“It's a man.”
The sight of his young ex-lover looking so totally devastated was worse than being hit with a cruciatus curse and Severus felt a terrible crushing weight of guilt settle on his chest. He wanted more than anything to tell Harry that his touch had been fire on his skin. That nothing in his whole life had felt so good as when Harry had been in his arms, he didn't want this unbearably beautiful creature not to know what he had meant to him.
“It wasn't… I didn't….”
Normally so eloquent Severus couldn't seem to find the words to express what he needed to say so desperately, but before he could continue Harry spoke up again.
“I shouldn't have pursued you so determinedly.”
Harry's voice was no longer panicked, instead it was desperately sad.
“I didn't leave you much of a choice, did I? Coming after you like that… it's just… I wanted you so badly, and I thought… I thought you felt the same.”
Harry's voice was choked with emotion and Severus could see unshed tears glistening in his eyes. Severus swallowed hard and forced the words out, his voice trembling but sincere.
“I've never been with anyone who made me feel like you do Harry.”
Severus hoped it was enough, knowing that nothing he said could ever be enough.
Harry roughly scrubbed the tears from his face with his hands and retorted bitterly.
“Not even your husband?”
“It's complicated…”
Severus turned away from Harry's scorching gaze and clutched his knees more tightly. For a long time neither of them spoke until once again Harry's voice cut through the silence.
“He's not good enough for you.”
Standing up rather shakily Harry stumbled over to Sev and collapsed next to him, taking one of his hands to stroke it gently.
“How could he let you get so ill?”
Harry's voice was so full of concern that Severus felt his heart shatter.
“You deserve better. If you were mine I would never…”
Harry's voice trailed away abruptly and he dropped Severus' hand again.
“Sorry, I'm probably making you feel uncomfortable.”
Abruptly the silence of their cell was broken by a loud noise outside. Harry grabbed Sev's hand again and then using his free hand tilted Sev's face towards his own and stole a soft kiss. Harry looked sorrowful for a moment
“I'm sorry that was selfish…”
The noises outside drew closer, they sounded frenzied.
“I… I still love you. I just wanted you to know.”
Rising to his feet Harry moved towards the door ready to face whatever or whoever was waiting. He took a deep breath anticipating the rush of magic he was sure would accompany the door being opened, knowing he would need all his concentration to use his wandless magic. Moments later the door burst open and Remus Lupin and Sirius Black came crashing into the cell. The relief on both their faces when they saw Harry alive and unharmed was palpable. Sirius rushed over and smothered his godson in a bear hug. Remus moved forward too, noticing Severus with as gasp of shock as he took in the appearance of the harrowingly gaunt Potions Master.
“God, Snape, are you all right?”
Severus summoned the remains of his ailing strength and replied scathingly.
“Absolutely perfect Lupin. Now if you wouldn't mind I'd appreciate it if you could save any other moronic questions you have until later. Preferably until I am no longer present to witness them.”
Lupin shook his head with a relieved sigh, apparently pleased to see that Snape was still fit enough to be his cruel and caustic self. Once they had exited the room Snape felt the familiar surge of magical power returning and gave Lupin a curt nod of thanks when he gave him back his wand. He followed Remus, Sirius and Harry as they were led out of the Death Eater hideout, trying his best to keep up with their brisk pace despite his limp and even though he felt his legs starting to give way beneath him. The past two days had taken a severe toll on his already perilously weakened body.
Severus was surprised to see daylight when they finally reached the exit to the oppressive hellhole where they had been briefly imprisoned, for some reason he had expected it to be night. Noticing all the people gathered outside the house he case an apprehensive glance around him and had his fears confirmed when he saw Albus suddenly break off from a group of Aurors and stride towards him and Harry, a jubilant expression on his face. Severus turned quickly, knowing that he had to escape before either Harry or Albus could notice his condition now that the magical suppression field was gone. Trying to concentrate despite his overwhelming exhaustion he was about to apparate when he saw a man run headlong towards Harry and then hurl himself into his arms and hug him tightly.
“Oh God Harry! I was so worried!” Blaise gasped before pressing his lips against Harry's in a frantic kiss.
The moment their lips touched a piercing lance of agony crippled Snape and he was unable to stop himself screaming in pain as he crumpled to the ground writhing as though in the grips of a cruciatus curse. For a few moments he could see people rushing to him, before the welcoming blackness of oblivion took him.
***
Harry walked up the last few steps to Dumbledore's office and knocked on the door.
“Enter”
Harry cautiously entered the room, feeling nervous butterflies flutter in his stomach. The headmaster had summoned him because he had finally made some progress on Severus' condition. He looked around the room, fidgeting uncomfortably. He had many memories of being in this room, unfortunately not all of them pleasant. He waited for the headmaster to speak, silently shaking his head at the headmaster's offer of tea, before Dumbledore finally started his explanation.
“Harry, having seen Severus I now know why he hid himself from you and me for so long.”
“Why? What is it?”
Albus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly.
“As the two most powerful wizards alive, we are far more sensitive to magic than anyone else, if he had come to either of us we would have noticed what Arthur Weasley, Remus and the others could not.”
Harry looked fearful.
“What?” Harry blurted out desperately a terrible sense of ill ease settling deep in his stomach.
“Severus was the most powerful wizard of his generation, when I stood in his presence I could feel the powerful magic that flowed in his blood. You could feel it too no doubt. But today when I sat by his bedside I noticed within a few minutes that he is half as powerful as he once was.”
Harry's jaw dropped and he felt the sickening feeling in his stomach tighten into a knot of anxiety that made him feel hot all over.
“How? Why?”
“It took me a few hours to realise what had happened but I have uncovered what Severus has done...”
Albus' voice was stilted with pain when he added,
“…why he is dying.”
Harry simply froze for a moment, before his legs suddenly gave way beneath him and he crumpled onto the floor,
“No, no, no, no.”
He looked at Albus desperately, unashamed of the tears that slid down his cheeks.
“No! I will not let him die, Albus. I don't care what it takes. We'll find something… anything.”
Albus sank into his chair suddenly, his body seeming to relax as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
“You still love him then?”
Harry nodded weakly and with great effort, pushed himself upwards and stumbled into the chair opposite Albus. He wiped away the tears on his cheeks but as soon as he had brushed them away a fresh surge of grief gripped him.
“Yes, I still love him. I never stopped.”
He began to sob, not even caring how pathetic he might look.
“I love him so much, even though he is bonded to someone else. I can't help it.”
He looked up to find Albus smiling broadly at him, and he frowned feeling a sudden rush of anger towards his old headmaster.
“It's not funny! It hurts so much… more than anything I have ever known.”
Albus looked taken aback and quickly apologised.
“No, no my dear boy. You don't understand. I am more relieved than you can possibly imagine. You see the only thing that could possibly save Severus right now is you. Your love to be precise. I had been afraid that after everything that had happened between you perhaps your feelings towards him had altered.”
Harry shook his head mournfully.
“I still love him Albus… even if he never returned those feelings.”
Albus looked momentarily stunned; an entirely new expression for Harry who had thought that nothing could ever completely surprise the man who seemed to know everything.
“Harry… What did Severus tell you?”
Once again Harry's face was marred with a pained expression as he remembered Severus' note.
“He sent me a letter explaining how it had been his duty to help me through the war. It inferred that being my…”
Harry stumbled over the word,
“… lover was simply part of his duty.”
Harry took a deep steadying breath and let it out in a long sigh, his hands clutching his knees tightly as he fought not to let his emotions get the better of him once again.
Albus snorted derisively and Harry looked up at unexpected sound.
“The stupid boy should have been in Gryffindor you know. Him and his constant acts of self-sacrifice.”
He looked up at Harry with a twinkle in his eye.
“Don't ever tell him I said that though, he'd have my guts for garters.”
Harry looked confused, and Albus took pity on him and decided to put the poor boy out of his misery once and for all.
“Harry, do you remember the book of powerful dark arts magic we found shortly before the final battle?”
Harry nodded, wondering where this was leading.
“Within that book Severus found a spell that could prove of immeasurable help to you. But the spell could not be used as it was in the book. For it to be effective he had to alter it considerably. So, to enable him to use the spell he merged it with an ancient bonding ritual.”
Harry looked shocked, not even knowing that such a feat was possible.
“The spell he found was ancient, used in dark times by Pure-blood families to ensure that the husband and wife of an arranged marriage stayed faithful and did not pollute the blood line by having any nasty extra marital affairs. The spell required each partner give half of their magic to the other, whilst it created a bond between them that ensured fidelity by causing great pain should either partner be unfaithful.”
Harry looked even more confused than when Dumbledore had started, but Albus pushed onwards.
“Severus merged this spell with a forbidden dark arts bonding ritual, the only bonding ritual that can be performed without the consent of both parties. In fact he managed to cast both the spell and bonding ritual without you ever being aware of it. Truly impressive, but then I have always known Severus was an immensely powerful wizard.”
Albus reached out and took one of Harry's hands in his own.
“The incredible surge of magical energy you received a few days before the final battle was not mere serendipity; it was Severus performing the spell he had created. The two spells together worked so that he was able to transfer half of his magical power into your body without needing to take a single drop of your magic in return.”
Harry's heart began to thunder wildly in his chest and his mouth went totally dry, he tried to speak but no words were forthcoming.
“Because he managed to create the spell to be totally one sided it means that the fidelity curse is also limited only to him. The spell was of course used to create Pure-blood heirs, so the bond stipulates that both partners need to be intimate with each other on a regular basis or they will weaken over time… and any unfaithfulness would instigate a sensation akin to the cruciatus curse.”
Harry's eyes widened and he began to hyperventilate slightly as the realisation of what he had unwittingly done to the man he loved by bedding Blaise.
“However, should either party die the bond is broken,”
Albus paused meaningfully.
“Harry… I don't think Severus ever believed he would survive the final battle in his weakened condition. When he did survive, against all expectations, I'm sure he felt so guilty about bonding you to him in secret that he decided it would be better to simply waste away than to force you to live with him forever. He knew that once you discovered the bond you would never allow yourself to choose another lover, no matter how much you might want to, knowing what suffering it would cause him.”
Harry blinked at Albus, his heart still fluttering with fear and uncertainty.
“But… I would never want anyone but him. Not ever. I love him with every fibre of my being. “
Albus sighed once more, obviously greatly relieved by Harry's response.
“If the two of you become….intimate once again, Severus' condition will be completely reversed. Although I warn you, you will be bound to him forever more should you choose this course of action. Of course if you choose not to I will do everything in my power to try and find a solution but this is powerful dark magic, Harry, and I may not be able to…”
Harry laughed suddenly,
“No chance, old man!”
He grinned wickedly.
“If Severus has been stupid enough to tie himself to me for all eternity I'm not going to let anyone find a way for him to sneak out of it.”
Albus' eyes sparkled so brightly at his words they looked like they had been backlit by supernovas.
Harry's wicked grin suddenly quirked into a truly malevolent smirk.
“So have you figured out the exact spell he used, Albus? I think it's only fair that since Severus gave me half his power I should return the favour. ”
Albus beamed and was suddenly on his feet and pulling Harry into a windingly tight hug.
“I am so proud of you Harry.”
Harry was moved by the choking emotion in the old wizards voice and hugged him back tightly before pulling away.
“Let's get to work then old man. I want to have this signed, sealed and delivered by the time Severus wakes up.”
***
“Is this really necessary Albus?” Severus said tersely as he was firmly escorted to one of the guest suites of Albus' manor house.
“Why of course. I simply will not have you pulling another disappearing act on me dear boy. You will stay here until you are suitably recovered.”
Severus sighed wearily and gave up fighting the older wizard, realising it would be as pointless as ever since the old coot always got his own way. He would simply have to find away to escape once the irascible meddler had returned to his duties at Hogwarts. Although maybe it wouldn't do him too much harm to stay for a few days and rest, after all he had a lot to think about. Like how his full magical powers seemed to have returned to him. Severus was dragged from his thoughts as Albus pulled them into a room.
“Here we are. I'm sure this will be just the place for you to make a speedy recovery.”
Severus nodded absentmindedly but kept silent not wanting to disappoint his mentor by informing him that recovery was an impossibility given the unique nature of his ‘illness'.
“Well, I dare say I must return to Hogwarts. No rest for the wicked.”
Without further preamble, Albus gave Severus a quick hug and then departed, leaving Severus standing alone in the beautifully decorated guest suite. Suddenly the door behind him slammed shut and Severus jumped slightly before turning round to see what Albus had forgotten. He froze when instead of the bearded old meddler he saw the beautiful face of his ex-lover. His heart clenched. Merlin! He had missed Harry, the brief stay in the cell redoubling the aching loneliness and need that haunted his every waking moment. He faltered at the look in Harry's eyes. He couldn't let Harry get close to him again. He had to send him away. Send him away to save him from himself. If Harry were ever to learn of the bond his stupid Gryffindor loyalty would mean he would never leave, even if it pained him to stay chained to such a miserable old bastard of an ex-Death Eater.
“Harry,” he said, hating the way his wavering voice betrayed him.
Harry smiled in a way that could only be described as predatory.
“Severus,” Harry replied with a brief licentious leer.
He began advancing on Severus determinedly, apparently unfazed when Severus himself began retreating. When Severus' progress was halted by being backed up against the four poster bed in the centre of the room, Harry immediately pounced and soon had his lover deliciously spread underneath him, pinning him to the bed with his own body.
“God, I've missed you,” he whispered reverently before licking his lips and kissing Severus with every ounce of need he felt from sixth months' worth of longing.
Severus wanted to be able to resist, to push back against Harry's onslaught. He wanted to remember all the reasons why it was so important to keep himself from Harry, so Harry could have a normal life and find a more suitable lover. But as Harry slid his hands over his body to cup the growing bulge under his robes Severus couldn't think of anything except how badly he needed Harry to touch him, to kiss him, to fuck him senseless. Soon his own hands were sliding over his lover's body, running up and down his clothed back and carding through his unruly black locks.
When Harry jerked his hips against him and he felt his young lover's erection against his stomach he moaned wantonly, unable to suppress the overwhelming thrill of arousal that surged through him. Harry felt heavenly beneath his hands, and after months of the bond causing him nothing but agony it was finally singing pleasure into his veins, heightening every sensual caress of Harry's hands and causing sheer ecstasy to ricochet through his body.
Severus was panting heavily by the time Harry pulled away from his mouth and dropped his talented lips to Sev's throat to start nibbling and licking his neck and collar bone. Severus was on fire with need, the bond creating in him a desperation that was painful in its intensity. Grabbing one of Harry's hands, he brought it to cover his clothed erection, groaning and arching helplessly at the much needed friction.
When Harry pulled him up to begin ripping off his clothes, he was only too keen to help him, first struggling out of the heavy black robes before fumbling with the buttons of the shirt and shrugging it off impatiently. Harry stopped suddenly and Severus felt a spike of self consciousness and panic, but before he could cover himself up again Harry simply took Severus' left hand into his own and brought it up to his face, staring intently at the bonding scar. Severus paled then, his eyes darkening with some undecipherable emotion and he tried to pull his hand from Harry's grasp but found it held fast. Glancing at Severus momentarily and bestowing upon his lover a truly beatific smile he dropped his gaze back to his wrist and then placed a delicate kiss upon the ridge of scarred flesh.
“Thank you, Severus, for your precious gift. But I couldn't accept it without giving you a gift of my own in return.”
Harry leaned back and peeling off his jumper and tee-shirt raised his left wrist so Severus could see his matching bonding scar. Severus lip trembled for a moment before tears spilled down his cheeks as he stared with disbelief at his lover.
“Harry…”
Harry smiled at Severus and reaching out brushed his tears away before placing a shower of soft kisses upon his wet cheeks.
“I love you, Severus. For always.”
Then with a wicked smile he dropped his hand back in between his lover's legs and grasped his erection, delighting in the harsh groan that escaped Sev's lips.
“Besides I would gladly spend the rest of my life servicing you just to hear my name moaned in that gorgeous voice of yours.”
Severus was only too keen to oblige as Harry's hand crept inside his trousers to tease his weeping cock.
“Harry!”
Harry shuddered and quickly set about getting them both naked as soon as humanly possible before settling himself in between Severus thighs to mercilessly pleasure his cock with his mouth. Severus seemed to dissolve into the mattress and he began to moan incoherently, his body writhing with the inescapable bliss Harry was bringing to him. When he felt the familiar coiling sensation in his stomach he uncurled his fists from where they had been clenching the bed sheets and slid them into Harry's hair and began to urge Harry upwards.
“Harry. I need you in me. Now.”
Harry withdrew the hot wet heat of his mouth from Severus and with one last long lick of the cock from base to tip he slid back up his lover's body and kissed Severus feverishly. Suddenly he pulled away looking aghast
“God, we have no lube!” he gasped
Sev smiled wanly before reaching out his right hand and uttering,
“Accio lubricant.” He was rewarded almost instantly when a drawer rattled open and a vial of lilac lotion sailed into his hand.
“Nothing gets by Albus… fortunately”
Harry kissed Severus fiercely again and then dipped his fingers in the silky smooth liquid, before teasingly trailing his fingers over his lover's puckered opening.
“Harry!” Sev cried in frustration, which elicited an evil chuckle from his partner.
“I thought I was the impatient brat?”
Sev groaned desperately and grabbing a fistful of hair brought Harry's mouth to his for a bruising kiss.
“I need you buried in me now!”
“Yes, sir.” Harry sighed breathlessly and with no further teasing quickly prepared his eager lover.
When Harry slid into Severus for the first time in over half a year he almost cried with the sheer bliss of being held so tightly by his lover's sweet body. It felt so damn perfect.
“Oh god, Sev,” he choked out, his voice thick with passion.
“Move. Now!” Sev demanded.
Harry moved slowly at first until Sev's bucking hips finally made him lose all restraint and soon he was fucking his lover hard, thrusting into him as though his life depended on it, brushing against Sev's prostrate over and over, causing his lover to groan wildly. All too soon he felt himself rushing headlong towards his climax and reached in between their bodies to fist Severus' cock in time with his desperate thrusting. Severus screamed in pleasure and came after only a few strokes, his hot seed spurting over their bodies. Hearing Sev screaming his name in ecstasy was all it took to send Harry over the edge and soon he was coming deep inside his lover's body. Completely sated, he collapsed on top of Severus and lay there totally motionless until finally he summoned the strength to ease himself out of his lover. Rolling over onto the bed he pulled Severus to him and after muttering a cleaning charm, spooned him, wrapping a possessive arm around his stomach.
“I love you.”
Severus sighed contentedly,
“I love you too.”
Harry snorted with laughter.
“It took you long enough to tell me!” He continued to laugh before adding mock seriously,
“You'd better do Snape. Because if you so much as look at another wizard I'll know about it.”
Harry could feel the rumble of laughter against his chest before he heard it escape from Severus' lips. Harry beamed again feeling that heady rush of joy that always accompanied Severus' laughter.
“And don't be thinking that just because we're bonded by this crazy spell, that you're getting out of a proper ceremony. I want an official bonding ceremony with rings and guests and champagne. I want everyone to know that you're mine. Forever.”
Severus twisted around in Harry's arms to face him, brushing his fringe away from his face to plaint a chaste kiss on his cheek.
“Whatever you want, Harry. I can't think of anything I would like more than to be your husband.”
Harry waggled his eyebrows suggestively before cheekily saying.
“I rather thought you would be the wife.”
Severus wished he could stay mad, but right at this moment with the arms of the man he loved wrapped around him, he found he simply didn't have it in him.
***