Title: Fitting Into Your World

Author: Reddwarfer

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: HP/SS

Disclaimer: JKR owns the Potterverse

Feedback: Reddwarfer at Verizon dot net or on my Live Journal

Beta: My beloved, Djin7. May she forever have cookies.

Archive: Part of the From Dusk till Dawn Severus Snape/Harry Potter Fuh-Q-Fest X at http://www.kardasi.com/HPSS/storyindex.htm Challenge: Not Here! Not Now! No Magic?

Harry glared morosely at a spot on the floor of his flat as if it were to blame for his misery. He picked up the vial full of murky red liquid in his hand and brought it to his lips. He wished that he had never heard the word "prophecy". He had done what he was born to do, but at such a cost. Everyone he ever knew or loved was dead. It wasn't mere exaggeration either. When Voldemort fell, it was as if there was a vacuum sucking the life away from everything near.

Harry was left standing all alone. It wasn't really worth surviving the war, if you could call it that, to forever be burying and mourning the dead. He drank the liquid and smiled bitterly as warmth seemed to envelope him as a blanket would. He closed his eyes for a only a moment and when he opened them once more he was shocked to see Albus Dumbledore standing in front of him.

"Harry, my dear boy," Dumbledore began. "I wish that I didn't have to convince to you in these circumstances."

Harry gaped in shock, but had little ability to move. "Headmaster. You're dead."

"That I am, Harry, that I am. I've come to see you for quite an important reason."

Harry nodded. "Why?"

Albus conjured a chair and sat down before speaking. "It seems that I am here to make you an offer. You see Harry, when you die, for a brief moment, you can see everything. It all becomes clear. You can see the consequences of endless choices. You can see the possibilities of every choice that can be made. You, my dear boy, are always special in each of these possible existences. Always important. I'm here to offer you another chance at life. It is a chance to make things right."

Harry scowled. How could living this life again be any better? "I don't think I'd like that."

Dumbledore smiled. "It is not what you think, Harry. You have a simple choice. You can live this new life at a time when you could alter things that must be altered. Or you can die here as you had planned."

Harry sat thinking. "Why should I not die? What's the bloody point?"

Dumbledore looked grave. "In your death, Harry, I can see the death of magic."

"The death of magic?" Harry asked, shocked. "What do you mean?"

There was long time of silence between them. Harry gazed at Dumbledore unseeingly, and wondered why his death mattered at all. Dumbledore looked out of the window and wondered if he could, or should, convince Harry.

"Professor Dumbledore, how could I make a difference? How would I know what to change?"

Dumbledore popped a lemon drop in mouth and smiled. "It's not a matter of what; it is a matter of when."

Harry eyes widened at the implication, "What about causality? Paradoxes and all that?"

Dumbledore nodded at this. "It is true that these are normally concerns. However, in certain situations, great things can happen. Things that go against all that is known and understood. This, Harry, is magic at its most potent. This is magic in its raw form. I offer you this chance to make things right in the world. You can live in a time when your life would make the difference it needs to, and not have to be here for this one.”

Dumbledore went on after he'd given Harry time to digest that, “Know this, Harry, you have a soul mate. I know it seems strange, and unbelievable, but there is someone whose life needs yours. However, if you choose this alternate life, you will not remember this life. You will not know of the future, but I can promise you this, you will have a chance at happiness.

Harry sat there silently while his mind processed all of the possibilities. He had never felt like he belonged here, in either the magical community or in the muggle one. Dumbledore said that there was someone just for him in this alternate life. A chance to be happy. Harry looked around the dingy flat and thought that it couldn't possibly be worse. Apparently, if he stayed here and let the poison finish its job, it would mean the death of magic as well. Harry snorted as he asked himself what did magic ever do for him? But he knew the answer, and he knew he would not risk that. It was not his nature.

Harry looked at the figure of his dead mentor with the fiery determination that had carried him through so many things in his life and reached out his hand. "Where do I sign?"

Dumbledore smiled in relief. "Close your eyes."

Harry complied.

\\\\\/////

Harry opened his eyes and rubbed them to get the sleep out. How long had he been out?

He got to his feet and silently made his way to the loo. He went to open the door to the bath when he was rudely pushed out of the way. He looked up in time to see the door close in front of him, glimpsing a face smirking at him as the door slammed.

"James, you wanker!" Harry yelled at his brother.

\\\\\/////

Harry gathered his things and began to get ready for the coming school year. He was excited to be in fourth year at Hogwarts, but a bit worried nonetheless. This year was his brother's fifth year. That meant the prefecture was going to be awarded. Harry didn't think he could stand it if James became a Prefect. He had just about had it with his stupid brother and his annoying friends. They were so obnoxious, calling themselves the ‘Marauders' for pity's sake. James was always making a fool in front of that bird Lily. Sirius was a holy terror. He was loud, brash, and egotistical. Peter simpered while he followed those two idiots around, and Remus, who was the nicest of the bunch, never had enough sense to tell his friends when to piss off. Harry really hoped that they would be too busy with the O.W.L.'s to bother him. He grinned inwardly, imagining all the work they'd have to deal with. He imagined a year where he didn't have to constantly look behind him, or ward his things, or hide whenever they came around. Harry was growing rather tired of being the constant brunt of their stupid pranks.

The next day at Platform 9 and 3/4, Harry waved goodbye to his mother, and then dragged his trunk onto the train and began looking for a car. James had gone on before him, leaving Harry at their mother's tender, fussing mercies. He hoped that he wouldn't get stuck in their compartment again. It was hell last year. Harry cringed, remembering the hours it had taken him to get the feathers out of his belongings. He found a car, and stepped in to see if there was room for one more.

"Infant, go bother someone else this year. We've got important things to discuss and we don't want your nose in our business," Sirius sneered at him. Definitely the wrong car.

"Like I want to listen to you and your plans for the world's stupidest pranks all day," Harry returned, rolling his eyes, while silently thanking Merlin they were too busy to pick on him.

He went to the next uncrowded compartment and went inside. When he turned, he noticed someone was already there. It was a tall, thin boy with lank hair, sallow skin, and black eyes. He was frowning, but said nothing. Harry thought he looked familiar. Oh, the boy was in Slytherin, in James' year.

"Hello. Severus, right? I'm Harry. Do you mind if I sit?" Harry asked, offering his hand.

Severus scowled, but gestured for Harry to sit down. "Do what you like."

"Oh. I just couldn't stand being with my brother another second. He's such a prat. Thankfully, I've learned all the best ways to avoid him here, while we're at Hogwarts. I don't have that luxury at home.”

Severus smirked. "You're James Potter's little brother?"

Harry nodded. "He's such a wanker. I don't even like admitting that we're related, but it's kind of obvious, considering how much we look alike. But at least I don't have it as bad as Regulus. Sirius is even worse than my brother."

Severus sat up straighter. "You know Regulus? He's Slytherin and you're Gryffindor."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I've tutored him the past two years in Defence. We're good friends. It's just hard with the stupid House rivalries, so we don't advertise it. I'll let you in on a secret. The Hat almost put me in Slytherin. Sometimes I wish it had. I would've been further away from James."

"You tutor Defence? You are only going into fourth year, correct?" Severus asked, impressed.

"Yeah, it's my favourite subject. Professor Mayberry thinks I have a knack for it. I've been working on it in my spare time. I was able to conjure a <i> Patronus </i> spell at the end of third year. At first, it was just this silvery wisp, but I kept at it and finally it appeared. It was a phoenix. I've not tested it against a Dementor, but I'd rather not need to be near them if I can help it.” Harry sighed,” I wish I were as good in Potions. At this rate, I might not survive my O.W.L.'s."

Severus' lips quirked at that, "I happen to be excellent at Potions. Slughorn told me that I could definitely get an apprenticeship right out of Hogwarts."

Harry's eyes brightened, "Really? That's brilliant. I guess you won't have any trouble getting an Outstanding O.W.L. this year for it.”

Severus' cheeks reddened at the compliment. "It's nothing."

Harry shook his head. "No, it's wonderful. Bloody hell, not many people are good enough to get Potions Apprenticeships. Most of the time, Slughorn looks as if he wishes I didn't even come to class.”

Harry had moved closer to Severus without realising it. He smiled and listened as Severus explained a potion that he'd been working to improve. He was describing a certain way of cutting whatever nasty thing needed to be added and, not for the first time, Harry grew uncomfortable with his own body's reaction to the closeness of another boy. Severus' eyes lit up as he spoke and Harry found that he couldn't look away. He was clearly passionate about his craft, like Harry was with Defense, and it was hard not to get wrapped up in it. Severus wasn't the first boy he'd looked at with interest, but none of the other boys had made him feel so dizzy.

He couldn't believe how quickly the train ride went. Harry was disappointed when Severus left their compartment without so much as a glance back, moving to join the throng of fifth year students in his own house. As Harry resignedly did the same, he glanced wistfully at Severus' back, and then looked away again quickly, as Severus had turned and noticed his gaze.

Harry was silent in the carriage ride to Hogwarts, barely acknowledging his fellow Gryffindors.

\\\\\/////

Harry started walking with a determined expression to where Severus was studying in the library. He was within four feet of the desk when he finally realised what he was doing. He froze momentarily before he turned and ran from the room. He didn't see the curious gaze follow him as he retreated.

Harry didn't even notice that he was following Severus as he returned to his Common Room. He had just noticed that he was nearing the area where he met Regulus when he snapped out of his daze. He spun to leave and ran into a very ugly, scary looking seventh year Slytherin. Crabbe or Goyle, he wasn't sure. He sped off and didn't stop until he was safely in Gryffindor Tower, leaving a suspicious looking Severus in his wake.

He berated himself on how stupid he was being for the next four hours as he distractedly wrote on the umpteenth assignment regarding Goblins and their inane wars. It had only been one week into the school year, and already he was making a fool out of himself. If his brother ever found out, he'd never live to hear the end of it.

Harry chided himself for what seemed like the millionth time. It wouldn't do for him to spend his entire year thinking of Severus. They were in different houses. They were in different years. He had really nice lips. His eyes were entrancing. Harry told himself to stop, again. This was out of control. Harry took a deep breath and reminded himself to forget about the boy. Harry opened his eyes, nodding to himself, before everything flew out of his mind as he saw a familiar figure walk out on the grounds, robes billowing in his wake. It was a few minutes before Harry remembered to close his mouth.

\\\\\/////

It was four weeks into the term and he still hadn't had a chance to talk to Severus after that day on the train. Harry wondered if it were possible to miss someone you'd barely met. He often found himself thinking of the shy boy who loved potions. If were honest with himself, he'd admit that he had a crush, but he refused to call it that.

Harry scanned the Great Hall before he found him. Severus was sitting alone, off to the side of most of his housemates. He was reading a book and every so often would jot down a few notes on the parchment in front of him.

Harry sat down on the bench facing the Slytherin table. He wanted to be able to watch, without drawing too much attention. He also avoided his brother and his friends, because they couldn't be trusted around his food. He was so focused on Severus that he almost didn't notice the owl flying down to drop something on his plate. It nipped his finger and he looked down, shocked to see it there. He shoved a piece of bacon at the bird and looked curiously at the note.

Harry snuck it into his bag and made his way to the bathroom. Something told him to read it in private. He opened it quickly after he locked himself in the stall. He didn't recognise the handwriting.

Greenhouse Three. 7 p.m.

S.S .

Harry gulped. He wondered what Severus wanted. A part of him hoped that Severus felt the same way that he did, but a larger part of him felt that he was probably going to tell him to stop staring at him. Harry was nervous and jumpy for the rest of the day. Even James noticed and told Sirius to lay off for a while. Harry decided to act nervous more often.

It was with great trepidation, and a stolen invisibility cloak, that Harry made his way down to the Greenhouses after dinner. He hadn't thought of anything else but the reasons for this rendezvous. He peered around the corner to see Severus standing there, impatiently. He slipped off the cloak and smiled awkwardly.

"Er, hi. You wanted to see me, Severus?" Harry hoped he didn't sound as nervous as he felt.

Severus looked up at him and then down at the shimmering fabric in his hand. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on where he obviously got the cloak.

"Why is that I feel your eyes on me every time we are in the same room?" Severus asked. His voice had dangerous, silky quality to it.

Harry blushed, but said nothing. He stared at the ground and silently begged for it to open and swallow him before he had to admit to anything more embarrassing than being called on his obsession.

Snape grasped his chin roughly between his fingers. "Is this some prank by your no-good brother and his half-brained friends?"

Harry furrowed his brow in confusion. He hadn't realised that Severus was a target of them before. "What?"

Severus sneered as he continued. "Yes, your wretched brother and his stupid friends have made my life hell. I was wondering when they would grow bored once more and seek me out for their entertainment."

"Severus," Harry implored, "I swear I'm not pranking you. I'd never. I can't stand James and Sirius. And I'm sure that they're not bored with me as a target yet."

Severus let go of Harry's chin and he immediately wished he could feel Severus' hands on him again. Harry searched for something to say to add credence to his statement, but knew that any more posturing would make him sound even less believable. “You can ask Regulus, honestly, I've nothing to do with them. Ever.”

Harry looked up at Severus to find those beautiful black eyes staring keenly back at him. It was if all the air in his lungs vanished. He couldn't breathe and he felt incredibly exposed, standing there under Severus' scrutiny. He tried to get the muscles in his legs to move, to get out of here, because a part of him would rather die than embarrass himself in front of this boy. He could feel the fire burn on his cheeks as Severus moved closer to him. The nearness made Harry's stomach flutter and his heart pound so loud that he couldn't hear anything else. When Severus' lips touched his, he felt as if he'd died. He must have. He was in heaven and there could be no other feeling on Earth that was as good. He wasn't even aware of his arms wrapping around the slim body or his fingers threading through the oily hair. Every molecule of his body was focused on their lips, their tongues.

And then, suddenly, he was bereft. Harry looked around wildly and saw Severus' form quickly retreating back to the castle. He leaned against the glass and brought a finger to his lips. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel them tingle. Harry fought to catch his breath as he watched Severus disappear in the castle. That kiss, his first, had set him on fire. He hadn't known that anything could be so bloody wonderful.

Harry Potter had no idea how, but he knew he would do anything at all to get Severus Snape to kiss him like that again. He walked back to the castle with a rather stupid grin on his face. He scarcely felt the ground as he went, never noticing the large black dog that followed behind him.