Title:  Tee for Two

Author: Christine

Contact: QsMistress23 @ hotmail.com

Fandom: Smallville

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Rating: R (For innuendo)

Archive: CLFF

Disclaimer: Well, it'd be totally cool if I did, but not in *this* lifetime.

Feedback: Yes, please. Let's me know I'm loved.

Warnings: Um, not for this, no.

Acknowledgements: Thanks to C. Roxane, Kira and Carrie for betaing this for me.

Notes: In response to the CLFF challenge: Martha organizes a charity golf match, she talks Lex into sponsorship. Lex agrees with the stipulation that Clark acts as his caddy. Naturally, CLex has to *practice* their putting on the greens before the big match. Lex hits a hole-in-one, etc.

Summary: Lex tries to practice, but Clark won't let him.

TEE FOR TWO
by Christine

 "Le-ex?"

"What?"

"Why are we here again?"

"Because your mother asked me to attend her charity golf tournament and I told her I'd only agree to it if you were going to be my caddy."

"Well, duh, Lex. I knew that. I meant why are we here *now*. It's nine o'clock at night for goodness sake."

"Clark, I haven't  played golf in *years*, so I need to practice. It wouldn't do for a Luthor to lose at golf, now would it?"

"I guess. But why so late at night? Won't it be a pain to see where the balls went?"

"Probably, but no one else is around."

"True."

::A couple of minutes pass by::

"Lex?"

"Now what?"

"When are we gonna go home? We were suppose to play Priest and Choir Boy tonight."

"Clark, I'm practicing as fast as I can. But with you interrupting every few minutes, it isn't going to happen anytime soon."

::Massive pouting from Clark::

"Oh, quit pouting at me. I'll make it up to you later. Now, be a good caddy and pass me the nine iron."

"I got your 'nine iron' right here, Lex."

"I meant the *club*, Clark."

::Hands over club with both a pout and sad puppy dog eyes::

"Oh, stop it."

::Lex swings club, misses and snarls at the impudent ball::

"Clark, hand me the woody. This shot is starting to piss me off now."

"Sure, Lex. Here you go."

"For god's sake, Clark! I meant the *club*! Not *your* woody."

"Fine, here."

::More pouting ensues::

"Your face is going to stay that way if you don't stop it."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Finally. Come, Clark..."

"I've been trying to, Lex."

"Clark, please get your mind out of the gutter for a second. I meant we have to get into the cart and go after the ball."

"Lex, I've been trying to go after the 'balls' all night."

"Don't make me hurt you, Clark. And before you say it, not with my dick either."

::They hop into the cart and go after the ball.::

"Lex, this is really beginning to bore me."

"Clark, shut up."

::More pouting::

"I see the ball. It's about two feet from the hole. Not *my* ball, Clark! Now, pass me the putter please."

"This thing?"

"Yes. Now, watch me work."

"Yippie."

 

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Clark."

::Taps ball lightly, sinking it.::

"Not bad. Only took me about four swings, but it went in the hole."

"What about *my* hole, Lex? It only takes you one swing to get a hole-in-one."

"Clark, you're such a tease."

"No, Lex. *These* are tees."

"Nevermind, Clark. And quit pouting. You look like someone smacked you one."

"Oo, S and M, Lex? I'm 'up' for it, if you are."

"Clark?"

"Yes?"

"Remind me to never take you anywhere again after you've eaten sugar, okay?"

"Um, okay."

"Good boy. Oh, stop. Fine, let's go home, but if I lose tomorrow afternoon, I'm withholding sex from you for a week."

::Expressive green eyes suddenly go wide in horror::

End