ALexander the Great by Marag and Terpsichore

Title: ALexander the Great

Author: Marag and Terpsichore

Feedback address: terpsichore@bellsouth.net and clearasmud@sympatico.ca

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: Can I have Lionel?

Challenge: Clark stumbles across gay fiction on the 'net. The author calls himself 'Alexander the Great'. Something more than the name makes Clark suspect that the author is Lex. (kira-nerys)
Part of the ClexFest at: www.kardasi.com/Lexclusive/ClexFest

Beta reader: Elizabeth Holden

Notes: (for the txt file /indicates thoughts/ <indicates printed words> )

Website : www.angelfire.com/falcon/insanityoutlet

ALexander the Great
by Marag and Terpsichore

ALEXANDER THE GREAT - you gotta love the internet. Clark hummed to himself as he typed the object of his report into the Google search engine

Ok, lets see what we have… history…biography…. Lovers…

Whoa lovers, gotta check that one out later... k…. Live Journal ~altg…

"Live Journal??" What the heck?

Okay, now I know I'm just a backwoods farm boy, but I am fairly certain that Alexander is a few thousand years dead and therefore unlikely to be subscribing to a live journal.

Clark snickered to himself at his lame joke, then clicked over to a couple of the more learned articles.

Two hours later, his report finished, typed, proofed and ready to print, Clark decided he rated a little playtime.

"So, let's go find out what Alexander has to report in his diary..."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This evening I lied to my love.

Okay - this isn't what I figured. Clark thought to himself.

He asked me a question, and while I didn't lie, I made sure that my evasion was such that his own desire to believe in me would win out over his suspicion.

But those of you who have been reading this diary awhile know that I am an immoral bastard, so this isn't per say, news.

I am also quite aware from my fan mail (and I do thank you btw) that you could care less about my real life inability to seduce my love.

You just want to read my latest fantasy...

"Fantasy????" Should I be on this site?? Okay, stupid question.

The Female came on to me. I wasn't sure if I should be amused or offended. That creature is unbelievable.

What my love sees in someone so totally without personality continues to be a mystery beyond even my ability to fathom.

But later, when I was finally alone, when things had finally quieted down... I imagined it hadn't been her, but my love who approached me, and my last coherent thought was that if the steer who died for those pants had seen my Hephaestion wearing them, it would have stripped off its own hide…….

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Five hours later, Clark finished reading the fantasy, and every other word on the site.

His first encounter with gay erotica left him hard as a rock and confused as hell. Knowing he had to be up in a few short hours, Clark logged off the Internet.

But not before book marking the site.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Welcome back gentle reader - today, something a little different.

Something happened this week, that has my thoughts going someplace a little... ... darker... than usual.

Clark looked up and did a fast scan of the house. His mother was still out, and his dad was in the back 40. Good, he had some time.

He'd been reading these journal entries for over 3 months now. Sometimes there were three entries a day, other times nothing for a week. Clark checked faithfully at every opportunity.

Darker? Well, that set him back a moment.

Some of these fantasies had been dark already. The one where the boy Alexander called Hephaestion had begged his Alexander to tie him down and take him over and over, with no preparation...

Clark had printed that story out.

He reread it.

Frequently.

But some of the fantasies had been so romantic. There was a real soft under-core to this Alexander. In the fantasies, the boy was Hephaestion, but in the narratives from life, he referred to the other man as "my love".

For a medium with Zero Body Language, those two words seemed anything but casual.

Thinking it over, that isn't correct. Not dark, not to anyone normal. But I suspect we've safely established over these last few months that normal is not a word generally used to describe me. So, Constant Reader, today I have another confession to make.

Apparently I, ALexander the Great, am a romantic.

I had a run in with Lucifer today. He stormed the gates of my castle and proceeded to do everything in his not inconsiderable power to turn me into a simpering mess.

Now as unlikely as that event is, he almost managed it. Though not in a manner he in any way envisioned.

My father hugged me today. That brings the grand total of hugs in the last three years up to two. One was for Public consumption, but this was for no reason outside whatever it is that Lucifer substitutes for genuine emotion.

My father put his arms around me and drew me close in a bizarre parody of affection and my mind spun back to the last time. That time, as I was held in warm arms I had never felt colder in my life; then I looked over at my love. He was being hugged by his father.

I watched them, so much love, so much warmth.

And in that moment I knew that it didn't matter what I tried to convince myself, my motives for pursuing my love were not corrupt, not a desire to know, to exploit to have what I shouldn't. That was the moment I realized I loved him.

It all flooded back to me today as my father again wrapped his scrawny, cold, arms around me. And I damned near cried.

Clark shut down the internet connection. Wiping the tears from his eyes he leaned back in his chair.

"Oh Lex," he sighed

…and barely noticed as he and his chair hit the floor.

It can't be.

I'm imagining it … it's a … a… coincidence.

We have those here. This is Smallville - Hellmouth without the good weather.

It can't be him...

Clark picked himself up off the floor and logged back onto the net.

Welcome to Live Journal of ALexander the Great

ALexander - there it was, ever time the name was typed, the L was capitalized.

"Well holy shit."

Clark logged off and reached for the phone.

"Lex Luthor."

"Hey Lex, it's Clark."

"And I am delighted that it is, as this has not been one of my better days. What's new and exciting at Chez Kent?"

"Nothing much, I was just thinking about you, wondered how your dad's visit went, stuff like that."

"It was the usual nightmare, he rode in.... Clark, how did you know my father arrived today?"

"You must have mentioned it."

"I didn't know about it until he walked through the door. Clark, he hasn't… approached you has he?"

"No. About what?"

"Nothing, never mind, it's good to hear your voice. What are you doing tomorrow? I could use a break and a little good company - care to join me for overpriced gourmet popcorn and a few hours of Drive In Classics?"

"Yeah, that sounds great. What time?"

"I'll pick you up around seven. Gives me a chance to suck up to your parents, and gives you a chance to drive the Ferrari."

"Ah, Lex, you do love me."

The pause on the other end of the phone would have been easy to miss had Clark not been listening for it. "You know it farm boy. See you then."

Clark hung up the phone, and tried to think.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Lex tossed the phone on his desk, wishing he could toss it out a convenient window. "Shit. Fuck. Damn."

Lex didn't even bother to try to contain his anger as he grabbed the phone and dialled Clark.

"Hello?"

"Hi Clark, listen, I have to cancel tonight."

"Why? I mean, are you okay? You sound..." Clark paused and went for the tactful word, "upset."

Lex's snort was audible. "Yeah, that's a nice polite word for it. Dad has demanded my presence at a meeting. I have to be in Metropolis about an hour ago. I'll be gone a couple of days..." Lex closed his eyes and gathered himself together. "I'm sorry."

"Oh." Clark tried not to sound too disappointed. No need in making Lex feel worse than he already did. "I'll miss you." He didn't mean for his voice to catch and drop an octave on the sentence but it did anyway.

Two days without Lex. He would miss him. Very much.

Lex listened and heard word that hadn't been spoken; he knew it was his imagination, but it might be enough to carry him through. "I'll miss you too Clark." Damn what the hell was wrong with him, he sounded like he was saying goodbye to a... lover.

Shit Damn Fuck "Hey Clark - rain check? As soon as I get back?"

"That'd be great." Clark grinned, "I can't wait."

"Its a date."

The pause was subtle, but it was there... Clark heard it, just before the word date.

"It sounds perfect. Just don't stand me up."

"Clark, you do know that if it were anyone other than Lionel..."

"It's okay, Lex. I know. You have to go. Just be careful." Clark heard the phone creak under the sudden tension in his fingers.

"Clark... I..." What the hell was the matter with him? He just told Clark he'd gladly blow off the universe for him, and now he was ... who the hell knew what he was doing. "I'm really sorry about tonight." Lex knew that there was a second level to this conversation. A lot was being said that wasn't being spoken aloud. Damn his father to hell anyway.

"Me too." Clark could barely force the whisper out. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him but he suddenly didn't want to let Lex off the phone. "Lex? Ummm, when you get home, I've been thinking and I..." Clark swallowed. "I want to talk to you about some stuff."

"You sound like you're trying to build up the nerve to dump me." The words were out of his mouth before his brain fully engaged.

"No! Not even close."

"Thank God... uh, I mean... that was supposed to be a joke... " What was going on? This conversation was making no sense. "Damn. Clark, I have to go or I am going to have to break land speed records to get to LuthorCorp. I lo.. I'll see you in a couple of days."

"Lex, I... be careful. I'll see you when you get home."

Lex had no voice. He simply disconnected the call.

Clark sat holding the phone listening to the dial tone buzz in his ear for several minutes before finally hanging up.

He hadn't wanted Lex to go.

He'd wanted...

He wanted to spend time with Lex. He wanted Lex to drive up in his car and pick him up and, and, go on a date. He wanted to go on a date with Lex.

Feeling not a little like an idiot, Clark dug around the back of his closet and got out one of his favourite ALexander stories.

Tonight, to help me sleep, I need a fantasy.

But what is it to be? Hard and fast or slow and sweet?

Hard and Fast - a fuck, I need to dream about a hot sweaty fuck...

Who am I kidding...

The reality is that all I can think about is having him here, lying in my arms.

We've just made love; it's been slow and sweet and he's touched part of me that no one ever has. He's not sleepy, but he snuggles in closer. His head is on my chest. He's more powerfully built, but he seems to love this, lying protected from the world.

I feel a tongue caress my nipple. It's a tease, but it's not sexual. He's just making sure I know he's still here.

Like I could ever forget.

Like I could ever forget the feel of his mouth or how he tastes; what his fingers feel like as they caress my back...

...the press of his thighs as I enter him; the sounds he makes as I take him. so slow, so indescribably sweet.

He barely makes a sound as he comes. He's not a screamer, my Hephaestion.

Instead, he comes on a sigh, my name nothing more than a breath.

It means more to me than if he shouted to the stars.

Because that sound is for me and me alone; no one else has ever heard this rapture. No one else ever will.

Mine and mine alone.

I shiver as I feel my nipple being gently tweaked. He felt me drift away.

He has no idea that my thoughts are of him and only of him.

I shift - I want his mouth. I want to kiss him.

I want to savour the taste, his flavour, unique, special... a hint of me still lingers... I search his mouth to see if I can find any more. He doesn't object to the search.

He moves slowly against me. He is already half hard again, but he understands that more is not really my intention...

...well, maybe..

But what I really want, really need, is just him, here with me lying close, his love for me a hazy dream his eyes wet, joy radiating from within.

I know it's reflected in my eyes. So strong. So powerful...

It is from Hephaestion that I learned the lesson my Father could never teach me.

Love.

Nations are conquered for it.

People vanquished over it.

Nothing is more powerful.

Nothing is more important.

His hand is caressing me with a little more intent I think he suspects my thought are becoming maudlin. I wonder if he understands just how deeply I feel for him.

I'd conquer the world to lay at his feet; he'd be just as happy if I offered him a daisy.

His kisses are becoming insistent. He wants to pull me back to him... not knowing that I never left. A finger enters me and I don't even try to hold back the moan.

Anything he wants.

After, when our heartbeats slow, and our breathing is no longer harsh, he'll want to talk about everything and nothing.. the weather, the state of the crops, the possibility of life on other planets, Lucifer's latest plan to take over the world...

The words won't matter, I'll just gather him into my arms...

And fall a little more in love.

Clark set the printed pages aside and sighed as he stroked one hand across his chest. He closed his eyes and pictured Lex bending over him, a loving smile on his face as he touched Clark with tenderness and love.

He wriggled a little, trying to ease the pressure of his thickening erection against the denim of his jeans. "Lex..." he couldn't help the breathy little moan that slipped out. He pulled the t-shirt over his head and dropped it on top of the flannel shirt and shoes that he'd abandoned as soon as he'd reached his room. He popped the button on his jeans and eased the zipper down over his aching cock.

There was something about that fantasy. He loved the hard, hot, fast fucks that ALexander sometimes wrote about but this one...

Clark could feel the love rising from the pages.

Clark wiggled the jeans over his hips and down his legs until he could kick them off of his feet. He closed his eyes and let his fingertips ghost lightly over his body. They could be Lex's hand. Lex's fingers. Lex touching him. He arched into the touch of his own hands and sighed softly.

He was so hard. Aching. He wanted Lex so much. Lex.

Lex who wrote about him. Lex who thought about him. Lex who...

"Oh. Oh, God. Lex..." it was a soft whimper as he came into his own hand with one stroke.

Lex who loved him.

Lex loved him. ALexander loved Hephaestion. And naturally Hephaestion loved ALexander.

"I'm in love with Lex." And Clark lay on his bed for a long time, staring at the ceiling and grinning like a loon.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I hate my father. I hate my father. I hate my father. Lex repeated the mantra over and over in his mind as he drove the back roads leading to the Kent Farm.

Twenty-four hours directly under the thumb of Lionel had left Lex tired, angry, and horny.

So of course instead of finding a willing body, or just heading back to his penthouse to collapse, he'd driven the three hours home.

Except instead of the Castle, he was pulling his car to a stop in front of the Kent's barn.

He closed his eyes and leaned back in the seat. "I hate my fucking father."

Yeah, and maybe if I say it out loud it'll be true. With a disgusted sigh, Lex got out of the car and headed to the Loft.

"Clark? You around?"

"Hey, Lex. Up here."

Lex took the steps two at a time why the fuck am I here? "Hi."

"Hi." Clark smiled and walked over to rest one hand on Lex's shoulder, "How are you?"

Lex closed his eyes, enjoying the touch far more than he would ever be willing to admit. "I hate my father."

Clark stroked the hand on Lex's shoulder down his arm. "No, you don't. But I'm not going to argue the point. What'd he do now?"

"He breathes Clark, that is usually enough." He didn't even notice himself leaning into the warm touch.

"You look tired," Clark's hand continued to stroke gently up and down Lex's arm.

"Mmmm… Wanted to see you" his voice sounded sleepy to his ears. "We had a date tonight didn't want to disappoint you. Already had to cancel once." Lex kept his eyes closed enjoying the feel of the stroking; he could stay here forever.

"C'mon, sit down before you fall down." Clark lead Lex over to the couch and got him situated. "We can stay here. Want anything to drink?"

"Might wake me up...."

"Ok. Just rest here then." Clark sat down beside Lex and rubbed the back of his neck.

"...Oh, damn. that's good...." Lex's voice was sounding more distant to his own ears. "... Glad I came home...."

"I'm glad you're home too, Lex. Shhhhh. Go to sleep."

"....Clark..."

"Shhhhh," Clark wrapped his arm around Lex and pulled him a little closer.

Lex snuggled in, more asleep than awake now. "ssorry... needed..."

"I'm here, you're safe. Sleep." Clark whispered the words and settled Lex against him. God. Lex. Coming to him to feel better. Clark's heart felt like it squeezed tight in his chest before it expanded and began beating faster and faster.

Lex felt so good against him.

Lex moaned slightly in his sleep, as if in pain.

Clark tightened his grip slightly. "It's ok, Lex. You're with me. Shhhhh..."

"...safe here, knew I would be..."

"Yes. Always safe with me." Clark forced the whispered words past the tightness in his throat.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Lex felt consciousness return slowly. He was sooo comfortable.

He was also far too warm to be alone.

Half opening his eyes, he looked up into the smiling face of his love. "Hey…."

He felt the grin half forming, as he tried to remember where he was. Not that he cared, Clark was here....

A warm hand was stroking his head. It felt wonderful. All vestiges of his Lionel-induced headache gone.

"Hey sleepyhead. How was your nap?" Clark smiled down at Lex. He'd spent almost half an hour gently manoeuvring Lex into stretching out on the couch, his head in Clark's lap.

Still half asleep, and feeling better than he had in weeks, Lex let a slightly sappy post-coital grin emerge. He knew all his love was in his eyes; he just didn't care. Clark was smiling at him, and he was so comfortable, lying here, his head pillowed in his love's lap; the gentle, rhythmic stroking relaxing him like $400.00 an hour Swedish masseuses never could. "So, was I any good before I collapsed?"

Clark froze for a second. The look in Lex's eyes... He felt himself melting and hardening all at the same time, he just couldn't think of anything to say. "Lex?" Great. Could he sound any more like an idiot?

Lex stretched up into the hand that had stopped its lovely movement. "...Oh, don't stop.. you can keep doing that for the rest of my life..." He looked up into the slightly confused eyes, "...You have the sexiest blush..."

"Wow." Clark hadn't meant for the whispered word to actually slip out, but... Seeing Lex look at him like he was a four-course meal.... He resumed stroking Lex's head and let his hand drift down across his face. "Lex."

Lex stretched, knowing he really had to wake up. "Okay, okay, I'm awake, more or less. Sorry, I guess the last couple of days with my dad...."

Lex froze; suddenly very wide awake.

"Oh. My. God."

"Lex, what?" Clark tightened his grip on Lex's shoulder.

"Clark?" Something in his chest seized. "You... I ... I was in Metropolis... " He sat bolt upright, ignoring the tangible ache in his body from the loss of contact. "I am so sorry Clark. I didn't... I wouldn't...." Lex looked away, he wasn't sure what he'd find if he looked in Clark's eyes, and that scared him.

"What's wrong? Lex, you just fell asleep. You were tired, it's ok." Clark tried to downplay the last few minutes. Lex looked as if he was about to bolt.

"I fell asleep? I don't fall asleep - I. I'm not even sure I remember coming over here." Lex realised that Clark still had a hand on his arm, and it was all he could do not to crawl into Clark's lap.

"You were exhausted, Lex. You remembered that we were supposed to hang out so you came over, but you were really tired."

"Exhausted. I guess I must have been. Clark, did I..? Well did I do anything... inappropriate? Should I be on my knees about now begging forgiveness?"

"Lex, no! You just fell asleep. That's all. I promise."

"I fell asleep? Do you know what kind of pharmaceuticals that usually requires?"

"I'm gonna assume that's a rhetorical question."

"Clark, I don't know what to say. I am so sorry. I never meant... I would never... Clark... Oh hell, I'm sorry. I think I had better leave."

"You don't have to go." Clark gestured helplessly, not sure what to do or say.

"Yes, I do." Lex stood up and headed to the stairs without looking back. He stopped half way down, but didn't look at Clark. "Goodbye Clark."

Lex kept his breathing slow and even. He was almost proud of the fact that he made it all the way to the castle without breaking the speed limits, or his car.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Could you give him my message, please? Thank you." Clark hung up and glared at the phone. Lex was still avoiding him. It had been three days since Lex had fallen asleep in the loft and Clark had not seen or talked to him at all since then. He wasn't home or was busy when Clark delivered produce and he was always 'otherwise engaged' whenever Clark called.

It was seriously starting to get to him.

He hadn't even been able to 'run into' Lex anywhere in town. Not from a lack of trying, though.

Clark was beginning to contemplate extremes - writing Lex a love letter or something.

The only reason he hadn't done it yet was that it felt a little - ok, a lot - juvenile. Lex seemed to be determined to avoid him and there was no way that he could contact him if he didn't want to be contacted.

Clark sighed morosely and went to check his email. Lex had even ignored those.

He waited impatiently for the dial-up to connect and….

"Shit!" The computer! Clark hadn't even thought of it, a testament to how rattled Lex's avoidance had him. ALexander's Live Journal. There was one way to get Lex to talk to him. Even if he didn't know it was him.

Heard a song today:

I feel my wings have broken in your hands; I feel the words unspoken inside will pull you under.

I have never in my life been the sort to apply the radio to my life, I was never a teenager.

This is my apology to those of you waiting for a fantasy. Reality came crashing down on me.

I lived my fantasy, but like all dreams, I woke up… oh but for those brief moments, it was... well I find myself at a loss for words. The reality, even one that crashed down like a freefalling safe, was so much better than any fantasy, that I am afraid my heart just isn't in it any more.

I am sorry to say gentle readers, that this is my last entry.

As long as this was merely a safe outlet for my obsession, it was fine, but something happened that just makes anything I could write seem...

Dirty.

I thank you all for your support. Anyone who knows me would scoff at my need for such nonsense, but …well, that is a confession for another time and place.

To save you the effort of bombarding me with E-mail I will not have the time to respond to, I will give you a few details... but only a few. What happened was a very private moment, one that will be with me for a long time as both one of my best memories, and worst nightmares.

Lucifer is partly to blame, but only partly - I had to spend time in his ever-relaxing presence, and I then did something utterly stupid.

I let my guard down. I forgot who I am. What I am.

As a result, my Love now knows how I feel.

I was able to extract myself before his revulsion made itself clear, but there is little doubt he now knows exactly how pathetic his so called hero is.

Losing the fantasy hurts, losing the potential, however small, that he might some day love me as I love him, is devastating.

But I have lost everything ; I have lost *him*.

I have no words for that. I do not understand why I am still alive. I've been dead; it didn't hurt this much.

And so, my sappiness ends. Goodbye all, and thank you for your indulgence.

Sincerely,

ALexander the Great

thealtg@hotmail.com

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Oh, Lex." Clark exhaled noisily, "You ass! If you would bother to talk to me, but no...."

Clark quickly set up an email account of his own. The fact that there were already 837 Hephaestions threw him a little, but he took it as a good sign that altghephaestion@hotmail.com was still available.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ALexander,

I've been reading your LJ for a while now and am sorry to see that you are ending it. I have to say, I think it's a real cop-out. What evidence did you use to make your decision?

You don't say, but I can't imagine it's as bad as you think. If your Love is really as good a friend as you've said he is, he won't stop being your friend, no matter what. Think about it.

Hephaestion.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Hephaestion - and I am not sure I approve of your choice of pseudonym

- don't presume.

ATG

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ATG:

Why not? You presume to know everything about your Love, but you may not. Ever consider that?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

No -

ATG

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Clark grinned at the quick response to his email even if it was Lex at his most snippy.

ATG -

maybe you should.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

H -

Pray tell, why? I know one thing about my love - he is an innocent.

ATG

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This could actually be fun. Clark cracked his knuckles and prepared to give Lex at least a little bit of a hard time. He deserved it for the misery of the last three days.

ATG -

Because, unless you can read his mind, you really don't *know* how he feels about you. He might feel as I do.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

H -

Trust me, if he did... well, I suspect I would have noticed. He trusts me, or at least he did, and I came very close to betraying that.

ATG

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ATG -

Close? How did he react to close? Disgusted? Upset? Did he stop speaking to you?