Clark didn't like the White House.  Or rather, Clark didn't like living in the White House, because he seemed to have no objections to it generally or to its status as a national monument particularly.  But he hadn't behaved like he felt at home since they'd moved in on Lex's first inauguration day.  Clark never complained about it, in so many words, but he often compared it to the four-bedroom arts and crafts fixer upper they'd called home in a charming, eclectic neighborhood of east Metropolis and found in wanting.  He'd even expressed more fondness for Lex's old Penthouse, which they'd actually had arguments over.  

And now, what had started as lighthearted disgruntlement in Lex's first term as President had turned into full-blown sullenness in his second, as well as a general sort of restlessness that pervaded every aspect of Clark's behavior.  Clark had stopped working on the book he'd started shortly after Lex had been elected and Clark had retired from active journalism.  He still pretended to do research for the book, but it consisted mainly of surfing the Internet randomly and pacing around outside.  Then he'd started going on missions that really didn't require Superman.  When he incorrectly thought Lex wasn't paying attention, he'd whoosh into his garish costume and sneak out in the middle of the day through the secret passageway they'd discovered while trying to find a place to make out for a few minutes during some four hour after dinner speech early in their residency, and not come back until the middle of the night.  But Clark was only supposed to use his Superman persona for real emergencies like forest fires, avalanches and super smart bombs that released a gas that made people feel naked with out a hat on their head (damn Millinery Enlightenment Brigade!).  Clogged sewers and stuck screen doors were stretching the concept of emergency a bit far, even for Lex's generous imagination. 

So Lex tried talking to Clark, only to receive obviously faked reassurances that everything was peachy-keen, Clarkwise that were far too reminiscent of Clark's ridiculous lies back in the old days in Smallville, and Lex knew Clark knew he wasn't buying it at all.  But Clark also seemed to feel that Lex had enough to worry about, what with trying to get a sound energy conversation bill passed and promote the revamped space program (a nifty cover for Lex's search for other Kryptonians, just in case one of Clark's long lost cousins had managed to escape the explosion as well).  Clark's assurances wouldn't stop Lex from worrying, though.  Clark Kent was and always would be the President Luthor's most important concern.  And if Clark Kent was not happy, well, then Something Big was going to have to happen.  So, Lex began concocting a plan. 

As much as Clark disliked the White House, he also loved Camp David.  He'd even asked if they could live there at one point and Lex had seriously considered the proposal.  If it weren't for the necessity of staying close to the various government offices that needed his guidance and within wining and dining proximity of Congress, he probably would have gone through with the move. 

Instead they had to settle for frequent weekends there, and Lex hoped that a long weekend at the compound would not only settle Clark, but also afford Lex the opportunity to discover what was really bothering his husband. 

Camp David had nature trails winding through its woods and Lex was not at all surprised when Clark made a beeline for the trees soon after unpacking on Friday evening.  There was at least an hour, maybe an hour and a half, even, of daylight left and if Clark wanted to frolic in the dappled sunlight, so be it.  

Lex ordered hamburgers fresh from the barbecue, charcoal broiled with mesquite chips, for dinner, found an umbrella shaded spot by the pool, and settled in with a folder crammed full of reports on nationalized healthcare systems throughout the world.  He'd discovered that he was better able to solve one problem if he was concurrently working on another and, thus, the moody, agitated Clark problem would be tackled in conjunction with developing a national healthcare system that covered the entire American population while still allowing the maximum amount of freedom of choice possible.  As introspective as his husband could be, Lex felt certain the Clark problem would be the greater challenge of the two. 

 Clark returned from the woods just before sunset, and Lex was ready for him.  Having obtained considerable information about healthcare, he was now ready to dive head first into whatever information he could drag out of Clark. 

"Feeling better?" Lex asked. 

"I will be when I've eaten about six of those burgers.  The scent from the grill is driving me crazy." 

Yes, Clark was relaxed and hungry, Lex thought.  This could turn out very well.  

"No, I mean did you enjoy your time communing with nature?" 

"I always enjoy that.  I'm a farmboy, remember?" 

Or maybe not.  Now Clark was looking stressed again.  Not good. 

"Let's go eat," Lex said, standing up and tucking the folder under his arm.  Clark looked up at him gratefully, and stood up himself.  If Clark stayed relaxed and ended the evening happy and well fed, Lex might get some super-nookie, so the interrogation would have to be postponed until tomorrow. 

Clark was already out of bed when Lex woke up Saturday morning.  This was not at all an unusual occurrence at on their weekend trips, and Clark would have woken him if he were leaving on an emergency mission, so Lex allowed himself to partake in the pleasures of the snooze button a few times before getting out of bed himself.  

While eating breakfast, Lex queried the kitchen and dining room staff as to Clark's whereabouts, but none of them had seen Clark since he'd bolted down two bowls of cereal and an omelet and disappeared out the back door.  Further investigation revealed that the compound's groundskeeper was the last to see him and that having obtained a hoe, a trowel, a large bucket and a bag of mulch, Clark had disappeared deep into Camp David's wooded area. 

It took forty-five minutes and the aid of three secret service agents for Lex to finally find his First Gentleman digging up part of a clearing and up to his eyeballs in dirt. 

"What on earth are you doing, Clark?" 

Clark had stopped digging, and was blushing fiercely, which he hadn't done since college, as he stammered, "I, uh, found some acorns in the woods yesterday evening.  I just thought I'd …" 

"You don't think the woods have enough oak trees?" 

Clark stared at him silently for a minute, his blush now scarlet, before dropping the trowel in the bucket and collecting the rest of his supplies. 

Well, shit.  As much as he might have innate business sense and an inquisitive mind that made scientific discoveries pure joy to him, Lex knew he could be an absolute idiot about some things.  Clearly, he had overlooked the most basic, obvious reason for Clark's current disquieted state of mind, and as a result had embarrassed the man he loved horribly.  This was an especially awful situation considering his own need to occasionally immerse himself in his hobbies.  Clark never gave Lex a hard time for curling up with the latest Warrior Angel, and now Lex had done just that to Clark for wanting to plant a tree or two.  Acting as quickly as possible, Lex grabbed the bucket out of Clark's grasp and handed the trowel back to him. 

Clark was still blushing, but his expression changed to one of puzzlement. 

"You miss this," Lex said, waving a hand at the hole in the ground. 

Clark nodded.  "It's okay, though.  We get away here often enough, and most of my rescue missions are outdoors. I was just, um, I guess I was nostalgic for the farm.  I know it's silly.  I must have picked it up as a habit or something from my mom and dad.  But it's okay, really.  I'll come back to the cabin." 

"No, I want you to stay and enjoy yourself.  Gardening isn't exactly something to be ashamed of, Clark.  And I don't think it's just something you picked up from farm work with your parents.  It's in your blood.  I'll bet Lara and Jor-El had a beautiful garden on Krypton."

Clark smiled a little at that.  "I wonder what sort of exotic space plants they grew there." 

"Maybe when my space program is successful, we'll find some seedlings someone transplanted on another planet before the explosion.  I just hope they aren't the man-eating variety.  In the meantime, you keep right on planting acorns.  With your green thumb, they'll probably turn into the strongest trees in the area." 

Lex nudged Clark back toward the hold he'd been digging.  "Back to work, you.  I have several more folders full of reports to get through myself.  I'll see you at lunchtime. 

"You work too hard." 

"I love what I'm doing as much as you love growing things, Clark." 

Clark nodded his acceptance and went back to digging. 

Lex hoped that Clark was having more success digging up the grounds of Camp David than he was having with the White House groundskeeper. 

"What is so hard about this?  Mr. Boykin, all I am requesting is a private area on the back lawn." 

"With all due respect, sir, it's just not possible.  If we fence off part of the lawn, or screen it off with trees, it will not only allow snipers a concealed spot to shoot from, it will be an unsightly blemish on the pristine lawn.  Sixteen Hundred Pennsylvania Avenue is a national treasure, Mr. President.  There is no way to do what you've asked. 

This stupid, unimaginative man was so fucking fired, but Lex let him continue to ramble away his career. 

"As I told Mr. Kent when he was trying to meddle with the Rose Garden…" 

"My husband was working in the Rose Garden?  When?"  Damn, how had he missed a sign like that? 

"Two weeks ago, he was trying to, sir, but as I told him, it would be unseemly for the First Gentleman to be seen doing yard work and besides, my crew has maintained the White House grounds and gardens perfectly since your Administrator hired us five years ago. 

It occurred to Lex that the groundskeeper's tale might provide a plausible explanation for the numerous whispers of complaints he'd overheard from the idiot's crew about sharp bits of pumice inexplicably appearing in all of their shoes two weeks back.  The Rose Garden incident must have occurred about the same time as the Bora Bora Volcano Crisis Superman had averted.  Clark still had a prankish side, and when he was annoyed by what he believed to be injustice, it came out with a vengeance. 

It was obvious to Lex that he was getting nowhere with Boykin and really, he didn't care to deal with the man anymore.  The time for an attentive, considerate President was over.  It was now time for bold, decisive action. 

"Mr. Boykin, on behalf of the citizens of the United States, may I express my gratitude for your stalwart defense of the White House lawn."  

"Why, thank you, sir, I…" 

"Now, please collect your belongings, submit a final requisition form for any supplies you may have ordered recently and have yourself and your entire staff off of government property before I return on Monday.  I will do my best to provide references for any members of your staff who might wish to seek employment elsewhere.  I will also have security glued to your side throughout your preparations for departure to ensure that my orders are carried out to the letter and that you don't do anything you might later regret.  Am I understood?" 

Boykin barely squeaked out a "Yes, Mr. President," before Lex hung up on him. 

After calling his secretary to arrange references for the fired staff and security to tail the groundskeeper closely, Lex allowed himself a few moments to enjoy the power of being the President. 

Then, it was back to work.  He had much to do and it wouldn't be long before Clark was back for lunch.  He debated, briefly, the need for competitive bids for the project he had in mind, and then decided it didn't matter as long as he used his own resources.  Besides, if Jackie Kennedy could redecorate and Nancy Reagan could accept a two hundred thousand dollar donation for new china, surely it would be acceptable for President Luthor to add a few embellishments to landscaping. 

Near the end of the car ride back on Monday morning, Lex was delighted to be informed over the phone that the project was substantially completed.  Despite the mounds of paperwork he felt sure were waiting in his office, he decided to show Clark the end results immediately.  After all, Clark's happiness was the reason they'd gone away for the weekend, and whatever work was lurking about could wait.  It wouldn't take but a few moments to show off his accomplishment to his partner.  

He stopped Clark from pulling their suitcases out of the limousine and, ignoring his protestations, took him by the hand and led him to the back lawn while their respective secret service agents trailed a few yards behind. 

Clark's gasp wasn't exactly what he'd wanted to hear, but it was followed by "Oh, Lex!" delivered in Clark's most amused tone of voice, so surely the finished result was acceptable. 

Before them, on the north side of the lawn, a rectangle of cedars had been planted to screen a large portion of the lawn.  Inside was mostly untouched law, left so Clark could make the place his own, and plant whatever he wanted wherever he wanted.  Hidden behind the trees was a tall, nearly invisible fence with security wires, metal detectors and video cameras that recorded every inch of the area outside the enclosure, but none of the inside.  There was one gate that allowed access inside, with both a numerical keypad and a fingerprint scanner.  Lex punched in the code he'd requested for initial setup, used the keypad's menu to immediately change the password and then gleefully dragged Clark inside. 

Clark still hadn't uttered a word, but when Lex turned to look at him, he knew he'd done the right thing. 

"I can't believe you managed this!  And so quickly!" 

"It was worth it.  Your smile is brighter than the sunshine right now." 

"I know that you're capable of great things, Lex, but how did you get this past Boykin?" 

"I removed him from the equation." 

Clark began to laugh, softly at first and then he was downright guffawing. 

"There's more," Lex said, eager to show Clark everything at once.  "See, there's another keypad inside."  Lex pushed a few buttons and a retractable ceiling slid out of the top of the fence, completely covering the enclosure.  "It's a new product Cadmus developed," Lex explained.  "I'm just glad we get to test it out here.  It works like one way glass, letting in light and UV rays so your plants will be fine with it up, and blocking everything from view to outsiders, but with the durability of diamonds." 

"So between that and the trees, no one can see in here, not even cameras from helicopters?" 

"I believe so.  It hasn't been fully tested yet, though.  At least not in this location." 

"You were never one to pass up an opportunity to field test experimental products, Mr. President." 

"You have a good point, Mr. Kent," Lex said, grinning widely as Clark began unbuttoning his shirt.  "But you might want to start by gathering a few necessary supplies from the shed in the corner." 

Clark turned to see the shed in question, then turned back to Lex with a raised eyebrow.  "You want hoses, maybe, or a rake?" 

Lex winked back at him.  "That could be interesting, but I was thinking more along the lines of cushions for the chaises that have been ordered to give you a lounging area.  Oh, and I think a very trusted LexCorp employee may have stashed some Astroglide in there for me." 

"Lex?!" "I might have suggested it, in passing.  I gave out an awful lot of directions over the weekend and I really don’t remember mmmfff." 

While he'd been talking, Clark had not only retrieved the cushions and Astroglide from the shed, he'd also stripped them both of most of their clothes.  Lex noted that Clark was still wearing his unbuttoned shirt and he was himself still in possession of a lone sock.  But Clark was busy kissing him and pushing him down on the cushions, so the sock was just going to have to stay in place. 

Lex dropped his pen after signing the last commendation in a large pile and swiveled his chair around to gaze out the window.  As was true of most afternoons this summer, Clark was busily engaged in his garden.  He had neat rows of vegetables interspersed with bright annual flowers, and all were thriving under Clark's care.  Lex thought the proudest moment in both of their lives had taken place earlier that week, when they'd been able to present Clark's parents with a White House dinner including Clark's homegrown vegetables on a table decorated with his homegrown flowers. 

And when he retired from public life in a few years, Lex knew exactly what he was going to do for them both.  He still missed his mother's ranch in Montana and he knew Clark would be happier growing things on the wide-open plans.  Now, if he could just convince Clark that they should raise a few adopted kids as well as vegetables on those wide open plains, and really, he didn't think that would be too much of a challenge, then life would be even more perfect.

END