Clark sat fidgeting with his napkin, fingers nervously shedding it to bits.  Every time the door to the restaurant opened he found himself looking, yearning for Lex's arrival and dreading it all at once. 

Two weeks ago he'd turned twenty-one, in another month he'd have his degrees.  Graduating with twin majors in both Human Behaviorism and Journalism with a four point average meant he had his pick of jobs and graduate schools.  But there was something else calling him, pulling him north.  The answer he got from Lex today would determine which way he went, which path he'd choose. 

After that disastrous last year they'd spent in Smallville, his senior year in high school, he and Lex had formed a truce.  He'd promised to stop lying to Lex and Lex had promised to stop asking questions he couldn't answer yet.  He'd finally believed Clark when he'd said that he trusted Lex, that he would tell him when it was time.  Clark hadn't had a choice; they weren't just his answers to give, at least not then.   

Somehow, it'd worked.  The truce had held all through his years in college.  Amazingly, they'd even found the friendship and closeness Clark had been afraid they'd never have again.  Closing his eyes, Clark thanked whatever Deity still listened to him, afraid to think what would have happened otherwise with the losses they'd both faced; Lionel before Clark even turned eighteen, his liver disease coming back with a vengeance and taking him almost overnight, his father to a heart attack the next year.   

The cruelest loss of all had been Chloe.  Bright, beautiful, take no prisoners Chloe who had guarded his secrets with her life and been his best friend, next to Lex.  Remembering hurt like hell; the memory of how the cancer had ravaged her still too vivid, too damned fresh not to rip at his heart.  Clark knew that a part of him would never forgive himself, especially knowing that the brain tumor that took her life was caused by her exposure to all of that green K radiation over the years. 

LexCorp had poured millions into research to fight the cancers cropping up almost daily in Smallville, caused by the poison that Clark's arrival had unleashed upon the world.  For that alone Clark would have loved Lex.  His anti-cancer drugs had given Chloe two more years than the doctors had predicted and Clark would always be grateful. 

But, that was only part of the reason he'd shown up on Lex's doorstep the morning after his birthday, asking if they could talk.  Clark had known it was time, past time in fact.  Buffalos stampeded in his stomach, not dainty little butterflies as he sat there facing Lex.  Of course, the deep blue silk pajamas and Lex's bare feet had had nothing to do with his nervousness, nothing at all.  Clark remembered the strangled chuckle that had escaped his lips as he'd faced his friend, struggling to find the right words to say to not lose him forever.  For one insane moment he'd almost invoked Lewis Carroll, fighting off the urge to open with 'The time has come the walrus said, to talk of many things…' knowing even Alice hadn't fallen down as strange a rabbit hole as the one he was about to describe to Lex. 

He'd listened, quiet and composed, the only sign of his emotions the way his toes had curled into the carpet as Clark spoke.  When Clark had shakily whispered his last secret, his recent mastery of flight, all Lex had offered was a simple, 'Show me.' 

By silent agreement they'd both stood, Clark gathering Lex into his arms, telling him to close his eyes.  Holding him close, he'd flown them home, setting down gently in the gardens at the mansion.  Lex had opened his eyes, running trembling fingers along the soft rose petals spread out around them.  Finally he'd turned to look at Clark, his eyes haunted. 

"Clark, it's too much, I need some time to process this.  A part of me feels like the last few years have been a lie, that I've never really known you." 

"Lex…"  Clark stopped himself, his heart breaking at the quickly suppressed flinch away from him that Lex had done as he'd unconsciously reached for Lex.  "I… I'm sorry.  I wanted to tell you, I did.  It's just; it wasn't only my secret to tell.  I promised my dad that I would wait until now and I did."  Clark had looked down, unable to stand seeing the hurt in Lex's eyes.  "I'll understand if you never want to see me after today and I know this isn't fair but, I may never get the chance to tell you this again."  Clark had finally looked back up, willing himself to be patient, to not push even though everything in him cried out for him to.  "I love you, Lex, I always will.  No matter what you decide.  I just wanted you to know that." 

Lex simply looked at him, nodding his head 'yes' once as he'd gathered him into his arms again to fly them back to Metropolis.  Clark had promised to stay away until Lex was ready and he'd kept his word.  The last two weeks had been torture, he'd sleep walked through his days; barely remembering to eat, unable to rest.  Clark knew he was damned lucky that his crazy alien memory had let him absorb at least enough to drift through his classes, but hell if he could remember anything about them right now. 

Lex's call today had been the first breaking of the silence between them since that morning.  His mom had told him that Lex had been to see her, that they'd talked although she'd kept his confidence and didn't tell Clark what they'd said to each other.  She'd at least told him that Lex had spent time in the caves, staring at the drawings on the walls for hours trying to find some answers.  It was the only information that she would give him and Clark didn't push for more. 

So, here he sat, buzzed on too much coffee and not enough sleep, systematically destroying yet another napkin and trying his damnedest not to scream as he waited for Lex to arrive.   

The restaurant Lex had chosen was a small, elegant Italian restaurant, family run.  He and Clark had eaten there enough over the years that they were on a first name basis with the owner and his family.  Clark knew that this was comfort food for both of them, their usual table far enough back to give them privacy so that they would be able to talk.   

That and the fact that Lex had evidently bought out the whole place for the night; they were the only ones there on what would have been one of their busiest nights of the week.  Clark jumped as a hand descended upon his shoulder.  Startled, he looked up into silver blue eyes.  Even with his vigilance Lex had still managed to find him daydreaming. 

"L… Lex, I didn't see you come in."  Clark clinched his hands together in his lap to keep from reaching out for Lex as he sat down across from him, his silent gaze taking in the mound of destroyed napkins piled in front of him. 

Lex smiled, the corners of his lips turning up slightly as he pointed at the table.  "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you.  You looked pretty focused on teaching that napkin a lesson.  I didn't know if I should intrude." 

Laughing nervously, Clark tried to hide the evidence as Antonio came up; bearing a bottle of the wine he kept on hand just for Lex.  He watched as Lex went through the motions of approving it, his hands slim and elegant on the wineglass stem as he sipped.  Looking up at Antonio, he smiled and nodded his approval.  Clark was surprised as a second glass appeared in front of him and was quickly filled before Antonio once again melted into the shadows to go and start their usual dinners. 

"Lex?" 

Lex raised his glass, tipping it at Clark.  "We never did celebrate your coming of age, Clark.  I know you like this vintage from the times you've tasted mine over the years.  Please, share this with me tonight." 

Clark shook his head, afraid his voice would crack as he raised his own glass to touch it against Lex's with an almost musical sound as he took his first sip, letting it fill his mouth as he savored the sweetness of the wine. 

"Lex…" 

"Clark…" 

Clark laughed nervously, clearing the roughness out of his voice.  "You go first, I'll wait."  He laid his hand down on the table, jumping as Lex's cold hand covered his, betraying his own nervousness in the fine tremor Clark felt where their fingers touched.  He felt lost as he looked up into Lex's eyes.  They were clear, no longer haunted as they had been two weeks ago.  Clark prayed that that was a good sign for what he had to tell him. 

Lex sighed as he began to speak.  "I saw your mother last week." 

"I know, she told me."  At Lex's sharp glance Clark quickly continued.  "It's okay, she didn't tell me what you said, just that she'd seen you.  That you'd spent some time in the caves and then had come to talk to her."  Clark felt as Lex tightened his fingers around his. 

"Yes, I needed to try and figure out some things before I saw you again." 

Clark's heart jumped, a small flicker of hope blooming that maybe this wouldn't be goodbye after all.  "Did you?  Figure out anything I mean…" 

Lex closed his eyes, Clark saw a thousand different thoughts chase across his face before he answered.  "I think so, although they seemed to bring more questions even with the answers I got."  He looked at Clark, his blue eyes seemingly lit from within.  "So, are we supposed to be Segeth and Numan?  Are we destined to play out some cosmic drama of good against evil with me in the starring role of dark menace?" 

Clark shook his head, unconsciously leaning closer to Lex.  "I decided a long time ago that we make our own destiny, Lex.  That I wasn't going to let some long-dead seer and a bunch of faded paintings on a cave wall decide for me that I had to turn against the person I loved most in the world."  Clark smiled for the first time that evening.  "Besides, I didn't want to conquer the world unless we did it together."  He watched as Lex searched his face.  Clark tried his best to be open, to not hold anything back from him.   

"Your mother told me about what happened while I was lost, the real reason that you ran away to Metropolis that time.  Does Jor-el still try to control you?" 

"No.  The really ironic thing is that it wasn't until I got the stones and put them all together that I knew he wasn't even really my father.  That thing…" Clark had to stop as his emotions tried to overwhelm him again with memories.  "That thing in the caves was never my dad.  It was the essence of one of his bitterest foes; someone named General Zod."  Clark shook his head, smiling ruefully.  "I know it sounds like bad soap opera but he'd planned to get his revenge against my family by destroying me and remaking me into his own warped image."  Clark felt Lex's fingers close more tightly around his as his hands began to shake.  "Whatever he was, the crystals destroyed him… God, it was awful, I can still hear the screams in my dreams at night sometimes."  

Clark looked at Lex, knowing he couldn't hide how scared he really was from him any more.  "That's partially why I had to tell you the truth, something's calling me and I don't know how much longer I can stay here.  I think… I think that after graduation I'll have to leave.  I don't know where I'll be going, or for how long, and it scares the hell out of me, Lex." 

"Clark, I…" 

They started apart as Antonio brought their food.  It sat cooling next to them, unnoticed as they both struggled with their emotions. 

Clearing his throat, Lex started again.  "Have you told your mother?" 

Clark heard the misery in his own voice as he answered, his free hand nervously toying with his fork.  "Yeah.  She's not happy about it but she understands that I might not have much of a choice in whether I go or stay." 

Clark felt fingers under his chin, gently forcing him to look up.  Lex was smiling at him, his face open in a way Clark had never seen before.  "Does this have to be a private pilgrimage or would you like some company?" 

"Company?  God, yes!  It's just...  What about your dreams, Lex; LexCorp, the presidency?  I don't know where I'm going or even when, or if, I'll ever be back." 

Lex trailed his fingers down the side of Clark's face.  Clark felt himself leaning into the touch, feeling comforted in a way he'd never known before.  "I'd already decided to step back; some force within me told me that something like this was coming.  I felt it in the caves and I've seen it in my dreams these last two weeks."  Lex smiled at Clark, his face filled with love.  "My place is with you, Clark.  It always has been.  We've only had trouble admitting it because we were both too stubborn and pigheaded to listen to our hearts in the first place.  So, 'Whither thou goest I will go, thy people shall be my people...' if you'll have me." 

Letting out a whoop and not really caring who saw, Clark leaned forward, kissing Lex, his hand going to caress the bump on the back of his head as he pulled them both together.  Laughing breathlessly they finally had to pull apart when oxygen, or the lack thereof, became a factor. 

Lex's eyes gleamed with mischief as he looked at Clark; color in his normally pale cheeks.  "I take it that was a yes?" 

Clark laughed as his hand blurred, reaching out to rescue one of the plates from crashing off of the severally jostled table.  "Oh, hell yeah, that was a yes!"  His hand reached out to touch Lex, settling over his heart, feeling its frantic beating underneath his fingertips.  "You realize that if you do this, you're stuck with me, right?  I honestly don't think I could survive having to give you up again." 

Lex's voice was soft as he leaned forward, kissing Clark again,  just the thought of having all of that razor-sharp attention focused on him stole his capacity to think clearly. 

"That goes both ways, farmboy.  Only child here, remember?  I never did grasp that pesky concept of sharing what was mine."   

Their food still sat, completely ignored.  Clark had a feeling that Antonio would be boxing it up for them to eat later tonight; much, much later if he had anything to say about it.  Laughing, he dove in for another deep kiss, glad to see Lex looked just as dazed as Clark himself felt when it was over.  "That's okay, Lex.  Nether did I."

FIN