Standing there, holding Lex in his arms felt right.  For the first time in three months the raw, bleeding hole in his spirit seemed healed, at least a little.  Something was wrong though, he could feel it.  Clark pulled back away from Lex, his eyes searching the tired, haunted expression he didn't seem able to hide. 

"It's good to see you.  What happened?" 

Lex's face closed off, hands going into his pockets.  His whole posture was a studied pose of calm that the tenseness in his shoulders belied. 

"Something I didn't know I was capable of. It's ironic. In the most remote solitude I still managed to find an enemy. I suppose I was just hallucinating from malaria, but the enemy I found was real. I got a good look at myself, or at least the part I've always tried to ignore." 

Clark winced, memories of his own lost summer evident in his eyes. 

"Lex, I guess we've all got to take a look at our dark side sooner or later." 

Lex looked up at Clark, his expression bleak. 

"The problem is if you stare at it long enough, it can get hard to tell the two sides apart." 

Clark closed the distance between them, his hand going to Lex's shoulder, feeling the bunched muscles underneath his fingers.  Lex looked ready to bolt.  Clark knew the feeling, all too well.  He'd just spent the last three months running away.  Only to find that the harder he ran, the more impossible it was to leave any of it truly behind him. 

"I know, Lex.  Believe me, I know.  There are things I did… People I hurt.  I didn't even know the stranger I saw looking back at me in the mirror anymore.  When I wasn't… When I wasn't high it scared the hell out of me." 

Shock crossed Lex's face, quickly hidden. 

"High, Clark?  I've never even seen you take a drink before much less do drugs." 

Clark grimaced, once again feeling the lure of the rush the Red had given him.  He wondered if the craving for it would ever go away. 

"Yeah, well, things change.  I don't think either one of us is exactly the same person we were before all this happened."  Clark again looked into Lex's eyes, seeing a reflection of his own demons lurking there.  Glancing over his shoulder he came to a decision.  "Now's not really the best time for this.  Are you home, Lex?  Could I come over to the mansion later so we could talk?" 

Lex nodded the movement quick and controlled.  "Yes, Clark, I'd like that.  I think we both need it.  Do you need to be at home for dinner or can I tempt you with pizza and a movie instead?  I think a little 'normal' might be good for both of us."  Lex laughed quietly, pointing toward the looseness of his clothes on his even sparer frame.  "I have it on good authority that I need to eat more."  

Clark pulled Lex into another all-enveloping hug, knowing just how much he needed the contact and feeling fairly certain that Lex needed it too.  At first Lex stood stiffly.  Clark sighed knowing the moment he relaxed into the hug.  He felt the silent huff of air against his ear as Lex let out a shuddering sigh of his own. 

"It's a date then.  I'll be there.  There's so much…"  Clark's voice cracked, clearing his throat he tried again.  "There's so much I need to tell you, Lex.  So much…" 

Clark felt Lex's arms tighten around him before he broke the contact, stepping back to give them both the space they needed to control their emotions. 

"I know, Clark… I know.  Maybe if we share them, our shadows won't seem quite so dark.  Believe me, you're not alone, I have my own secrets I need to give."  Clark felt the fleeting pressure of Lex's hand against his face.  "So, until tonight then, say eight o'clock?"   

Clark smiled, his heart already feeling lighter with just having made his decision.  After tonight there'd be no more lies suspended between them, choking them both with their weight. 

"Eight o'clock sounds fine."  Clark almost felt relieved at the blush he felt heating his cheeks.  After everything he'd done, after everything he'd had done to him, he'd been afraid he could never go back, could never be the person he was before.  "Want me to see if it would be okay for me to stay over?  I'd just need to be back in time for my chores tomorrow." 

Lex inclined his head, a smile teasing at the corners of his lips, some of his exhaustion seeming to melt away for a moment.  "I'd like that, Clark.  I've had more than enough of solitude the last few months…" 

They both looked up startled as the slamming of the backdoor made a loud crack in the still August air.  Clark glanced back to see his parents rushing toward them, huge smiles on both of their faces.  His mother reached them first, his father right behind.  He was more than a little shocked to see them both envelop Lex in a hug.  He wasn't however surprised to see the look of hunger Lex was trying not very successfully to hide. 

"Lex, sweetie, they said you were dead!"  His mom gave Lex a gentle peck on the cheek as she pulled back away from him, her eyes shining.  His dad looked truly happy to see Lex as he offered him his hand. 

"It's good to have you home, son.  I'm glad that the news was wrong." 

Lex laughed quietly, clasping his dad's hand like a lifeline, neither one of them saying anything about how badly it shook.  "Thank you, sir, as am I." 

Clark noted the tiredness growing in Lex's face; saw the tentative control he had over his emotions threatening to slip.  Making eye contact with his mom he knew that she had noticed too. 

"Mom, Dad, Lex has invited me over for dinner and movies tonight.  Would it be okay if I stayed over?  Just so we could catch up?" 

Martha looked at both of them, exchanging a look with his dad.  "Yes, Clark, you may.  On one condition though…"  She laughed out loud at the look of concern Clark knew they both shot her.  "Don't worry, boys, it's nothing dire.  I just want to feed all three of my favorite men breakfast in the morning."  She glanced back at the cheery, yellow farmhouse, a look of sadness briefly passing over his face before she turned back to them smiling.  "I think we could all use a little celebration right about now." 

Lex laughed, the sound a little rusty as she hugged him again quickly before stepping back into his dad's arms.  "We'll be here, Mrs. Kent…" 

"Martha, Lex, Martha…"  She gave them both another searching look.  "It's about time you stopped being so darned formal."  She smiled another gentle smile at Lex.  "Family doesn't need to stand on ceremony." 

Clark saw something then he'd never expected to ever see from Lex.  He was blushing, an honest to goodness blush bright enough to shine through his terrible sunburn.  He looked lighter, calmer.  Already more at peace than he had before.  Clark smiled himself, knowing that what he had planned for later was the right thing to do.  It was more than time. 

"Until tomorrow morning then… Clark, I'll see you later."  Moving over to his car all three of them watched as he drove away.  Clark wasn't surprised to feel his mother's arms snake around his chest, his father's hand on his shoulder.  He couldn't completely suppress the flinch his guilt caused from the contact but he was working on it; they all were. 

"Thanks, Mom, Dad… I just, I really think… He just looks so lost… I have to, I have to…" His voice cracking Clark lowered his head, feeling as his parents moved even closer, holding him, offering their love. 

Clark felt something break free deep inside of him as he stood there, safe within their arms.  Somehow he and Lex, his parents, they'd all get through this.  Things would never be the same as they were before but, that was okay.  Change could be good.  No matter what came next, they'd face it together, as a family.   

Clark smiled a little, burying his face in his mom's hair, smelling the sweet, clean scent that had always meant 'home' to him.  No one, but no one, messed with his mother's cubs.  Lionel Luthor would never know what hit him. 

fin