Title: The Peace Within
Author: Taltos
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Not really
Summary: Plot? Uh, sex counts, right?
A/N: Just realized that I hadn't posted this yet and now I'm 52
minutes late. Kira, will you please forgive me.

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"Lex, you have to be honest with me, does it normally look like
that?"

Taking a deep breath Lex tries not to let his frustration show.
Things are not working out the way he'd planned.

"Yes, Clark, it normally looks like that."

"But it's so small, there's absolutely no way I can fit
in there."

Lex runs a hand over his head. He is absolutely going to kill
Clark. He's never met a more finicky person in his entire life.
What happed to `salt of the earth,' and `make the best of
a bad situation?' Had all of Clark's good manners disappeared
overnight?

They'd spent the past three hours touring the campus of Met U to
finally end up in the dorms and now Clark was balking at the size of
the bed and the room. This particular complaint was coming on the
heels of bitching about the cafeteria, the student union and the
library. He couldn't remember a time that Clark had been so
disagreeable and it was starting to grate on Lex's last nerve.

Counting slowly to ten, Lex turned to face Clark.

"I know it's cramped and some of the amenities leave a lot to
be desired but college isn't about the living space, Clark.
It's about the experience as a whole. It's about growing as
a person, uncovering aspects of yourself that you never knew you
had. It's about spreading your wings and testing your limits."

"I…"

And then he was gone and Lex was staring at the doorframe in front
of him. Sighing Lex took one more look around the room and closed
the door. On the walk back to the car he contemplated Clark's
behavior of late.

Clark had always been good tempered and lately he'd turned into a
brooding mass of flesh that barely smiled. It had been so long
since Lex had heard him laugh that he was beginning to forget what
it sounded like. He was becoming more and more withdrawn as
graduation drew near and nothing Lex had done had pulled Clark from
his funk.

When he reached the car, Clark was sitting on the ground, head
between his drawn up knees leaning against the car. Sitting next to
him, Lex decided it was time to push.

"Clark, talk to me. Tell me what's really wrong. I know
it's not the dorms, or the library that has you so upset."

"I just…I always thought that…Never mind, it's stupid
and I'm sorry I've been such a baby today. Can we just get
out of here and enjoy the rest of the weekend?"

Every instinct screamed at him not to let this go. Not to allow
Clark to dodge again but the misery on his friends face was enough
to silence him.

"Okay, we'll go to dinner, then maybe a movie if you're
feeling up to it."

"Can we just hang out at the penthouse? Maybe get a pizza or
something."

"Sure. Whatever you want, Clark."

Three hours later and Lex is no closer to uncovering what's been
behind Clark's dark mood. Now in the midst of their second
movie, Lex has had quite enough of Clark staring into space. With a
flick of his wrist he points the remote at the television and turns
off the movie.

"What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?"

Lex could already see Clark trying to hedge and he wasn't having
it.

"You've been moody and depressed for months."

He could see the denial forming and with a swift shake of his head
he presses on.

"Clark, talk to me. Tell me what the problem is, I might be able
to help."

"It's stupid, Lex."

"Not if it has you this upset."

When Clark turns to meet his gaze Lex is shocked by the sadness
staring back at him. Lex has never met anyone in his life who could
make despair look beautiful but Clark pulls it off without even
trying.

"I just always imagined that when I came to Metropolis that
you'd be here too, that I wouldn't be alone."

Lex isn't quite sure what to say to that. He had never thought
that Clark's reluctance to leave home would have thing one to do
with him. Lex will admit to himself, if no one else, that his prime
reason for staying in Smallville for so long has been Clark, but to
know the feeling is reciprocated makes him almost giddy.

Giddy and much too aware of the beautiful boy sitting only a few
feet away. A boy he has determined to steer clear of if it has to
be the last thing he ever does. He refuses to ruin this friendship,
refuses to lose Clark because his hormones occasionally override his
good sense. And sitting there looking into Clark's soulful eyes
was not going to help him keep his vow. Rising he made his way to
the wet bar.

"I'm never more than a phone call away; not to mention that
lately I spend more time here than in Smallville."

"But your home is still there."

The copper tang of blood fills Lex's mouth as he bites the inside
of his check to keep from telling Clark that his home is wherever
Clark happens to be at the time. When Clark rises from the couch
and moves toward him, Lex starts to feel like prey.

He knows all about the look Clark is giving him. Knows about the
hunger and the need and desperate desire. He's seen it on his
own face on early morning when he wakes up to wet sheets. And he
knows how dangerous this situation is. If he lets it happens he
loses and if he stops it he loses.

As Clark's fingertips brush his check he speaks and the words
taste like acid in his mouth.

"It's late. We should get to bed, we have an early day
tomorrow."

The look of defeat that crosses Clark's face tears Lex apart but
he knows there's no help for it. This can't happen. Not now
when there's so much to lose. Turning quickly, Lex throws out
good night before softly closing his bedroom door.

Later Lex isn't sure what wakes him but within seconds he's
aware of Clark standing just inside his door watching him.

"Clark, what's wrong?"

"I waited too long didn't I? And now it's too late."

Lex shifts and let's the sheet pool around his waist as he sits
up.

"It's late and we've had a long day. We should save this
until the morning."

"No, Lex. If we don't say it now…I know you and I know
me and we'll avoid it all together if we wait until tomorrow. I
need to know."

Words fail him and he wants to kick himself for being so stupid.
The signs are all so clear now. The recent numerous late night
visits to the castle. The lingering looks and soft brushes of hand
and body now make perfect sense and Lex is stunned into silence.

He has to resist the urge to laugh. Three years ago he'd have
been across the room in a flash divesting Clark of clothes and
virginity as fast as humanly possible. Now the possibility that
Clark wants him is so utterly terrifying that he begins to shake.

"Clark, please don't do this."

"Why? You wanted me once."

With each word Clark moves closer and Lex has to fight the urge to
flee. When Clark sits on the edge of the bed, so close that Lex can
smell him, Lex has to clench his hands into fists to keep for
reaching him.

"I'm trying to do the right thing here, Clark."

"This *is* right."

Faster than Lex can draw breath for a reply there are soft, warm
lips on his. When Clark's lips part and Lex's tongue slips
inside Clark whimpers in the back of his throat and Lex loses every
good intention he ever had. His hands come up lightening quick to
fist in raven curls that are as soft as silk.

Without warning Lex ends up naked, flat on his back in the middle of
the bed. Clark standing over him, green eyes blazing fire as they
raked his body. His body tightened under Clark's close scrutiny,
desire zinging down his spine at the predatory gleam in Clark's
eyes.

"You're so beautiful."

"And you're overdressed."

Clark wasted no time in remedying the situation and soon Lex found
his body covered. Hot hands touched him everywhere setting lights
off behind his closed eyes.

A nipple was licked and then pulled into a blazing mouth with hard
suction. Lex was dying, he knew it. Nothing could feel this good.
Hard strokes of a tongue down his chest, dipping into his belly
button before sucking on the skin of his hip. Clark's mouth was
everywhere but where Lex needed it most.

"Please, Clark."

He could feel Clark smile against him. Warm breath tickled his
balls just before searing heat and wetness engulfed them. A long
hard moan ripped from Lex's chest when seconds later Clark's
tongue traveled up his cock and dipped into the slit. Long slow
stokes along the underside, concentrated pressure just under the
head and hard suction had his hips moving restlessly against the
bed. With an audible pop Clark released him.

Lex felt hands at the back of his thighs pushing his legs up and
against his chest. Wetness stroked down his perineum making Lex
whimper. Light tiny flicks against his hole had Lex squirming.

Lex's back arched off the bed as Clark's tongue sank into his
body. His mouth opened and closed, words gone, coherent thought
scattered to the corners of the room.

Everything in his body, in his mind was suddenly centered on
Clark's tongue working him open, sliding in and out of him.

His hands fisted in the sheets and his head whipped back and forth.
No one had ever made him feel this good. His hands ached from being
clenched, his toes tingled and his whole body was one big quivering
mass of pure sensation.

Lex whimpered when too soon Clark slipped free, then watched with
hooded eyes as Clark reached across the bed to the nightstand. He
couldn't stop his body from trembling. Could hardly stand the
ache in his cock. Couldn't remember a time he had ever been so
hard.

Pulling a condom and a bottle of massage oil from the drawer, Clark
settled back between Lex's thighs.

Lex felt Clark's slick finger tracing his hole and although he
tried not to, his body tensed. Closing his eyes and taking a deep
breath he willed his body to relax. Two fingers became three and
with every second thrust into his body Clark hit that magical spot
again driving Lex delirious.

Lex felt the blunt head of Clark's cock pushing against him and
he had to force his body to still as he sucked in a harsh breath.
With each slow stroke out and then back in, Lex's arousal spiked.

When Clark knocked against his prostrate his back arched and his
blunt nails clawed down Clark's back. Fire exploded behind his
eyes and Lex honestly began to think he was going to pass out from
the pleasure coursing through him.

A hand wormed between their bodies and teasing fingers played over
the head of Lex's cock. The teasing soon turned into hard sharp
twists in counter point to Clark's thrusts.

Lex could feel the build. Could feel the lighting along his spine,
curling his fingers and toes. Could feel the ache in the pit of
stomach spread out along his arms and legs as his balls drew up.
Knows he's second's away from coming but desperately tires to
hold it off, not wanting this to end.

Clark is panting above him, watching him with eyes so sharp they
could cut glass; driving into him hard and deep and fast, all rhythm
lost as the blinding pleasure flows through them both.
He's writing beneath Clark like a first class whore and he
can't stop, can't even care because it's Clark. Clark
touching him, sliding so deep inside him Lex knows he'll feel
this
for days

"Come for me, Lex."

Lex watches with hot eyes as Clark's head goes back, neck
arching, body shaking, his mouth open on a silent moan, and Lex
knows he's too far gone to stop now. Couldn't hold back if
he had to. Screams Clark's name as he floods his stomach in hot
pulses.

Feels Clark's body go rigid seconds before his head drops to
Lex's shoulder, hips still thrusting slow and deep, drawing it
out for both of them before collapsing beside him.

Suddenly he's back in Clark's arms, delicate kisses falling
on his face. Soft hands pulling him into the cradle of muscular
arms. And he realizes that Clark was right. That this, between
them, is right.

"Lex, I have to tell you—"

"No you don't. In time, when you're ready."

Lex feels the last small amount of tension in Clark's body bleed
away and he thinks for the first time in years that he remembers
what love feels like. He remembers what it's like to trust and
be trusted in return. He doesn't need Clark's secrets, he
only needs this.

Clark's body curls around his and his arms tighten slightly
across Lex's chest and the last thing he knows is peace.

~finis~