Author: Kryptokitten

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: None (I think)

Category: PWP, Humor

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Notes: Profuse thanks to Tigerlily for the wonderful beta. Any bad jokes made in the following fic are entirely my fault.

Summary: The 21^st century’s answer to phone sex – Instant Messenger.

Disclaimer: I don’t do it for money – that's my night job. Instant Messenger belongs to AOL, not me.

Instant Mess

LexluvsClark wrote: "I’m looking for some action," and Clark swallowed hard, preparing to answer.

Ckal69: Maybe I could be of assistance.

On the other side of town, Lex grinned and shifted in the plush leather office chair, already hard.

LexluvsClark: Can you? I have very particular…tastes.

Clark swallowed again and shifted in the small wooden desk chair.

Ckal69: If your tastes include the tang of sweat slick skin over a hard body, or the salty-smooth flavor of a hard cock, then yes, I think I can.

Lex groaned and reached down to adjust himself. Such dirty talk coming from someone as sweet and seemingly innocent as Clark really turned him on.

LexluvsClark: And if I wanted to open up your tight, perfect ass and ram my way in, would you be accommodating?

Seconds approached minutes, leaving Lex on edge and wondering if Clark was as stone hard as he was or was scared limp, like he expected.

Then suddenly:

Ckal69: I don’t think I can help you.

That took Lex by surprise, especially since he couldn’t read Clark’s mood from the response.

LexluvsClark: Why not?

A moment, and:

Ckal69: because you can’t ram my ass when you’re chained to the bed and I’m fucking you with my tongue.

Clark waited a minute, then two, then five, and started to think he’d gone too far, he’d turned Lex off, or Lex thought he was being presumptuous, or-

LexluvsClark: Fuck, Clark, that was too much.

Shit, he was right, he’d gone too far, and now Lex was mad, and-

LexluvsClark: I never come in my pants anymore.

Clark sighed in relief, then smirked as he realized what Lex was saying, and responded: "Sorry."

LexluvsClark: No, you’re not.

And Lex just grinned happily when Clark responded: "You’re right. I’m not."

~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~

Clark blinked stupidly at the screen for a moment before replying:

Ckal87: You’re kidding me. You wrote…this.

MeteorMaven: Oh please, you know it’s hot.

Ckal87: Chloe…

MeteorMaven: I bet Lex would think it’s hot.

Were Chloe anyone else, Clark would just roll his eyes, but he knew her well enough to feel some panic.

Ckal87: You wouldn’t.

She didn’t answer right away, and he wondered what she was doing, until:

MeteorMaven: I just did ;)

Ckal87: Chloe! Holy shit, please tell me you’re kidding.

MeteorMaven: Maybe I am, maybe I’m not – you’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?

And she signed off.

Clark just sat there, dumbfounded, the screen asking if he wanted to ‘delete new mail from >MeteorMaven@SVHS.com<. A part of him wanted to keep it, the part snaking down his right pant leg, but the part of him freaking out was too loud for him to hear anything else. He just breathed and reminded himself that he couldn’t kill Chloe.

He wouldn’t do that to Gabe.

The ding of a message box popping up almost startled him right out of his seat.

Oh shit, it was Lex.

Alxthegr8t wrote: "Clark?" and Clark swallowed hard, preparing to answer.

Ckal87: Yeah?

Alxthegr8t: I’m looking for some action ;)

END