Mischief Teaphile With apologies to Robertson Davies. Read his novel, Leaven of Malice. “Lex. What have you done now, son?” Lionel’s voice sounded tired, resigned to whatever insult he imagined Lex had wrought on him. “Nothing, Dad.” It was the truth, as far as Lex knew. His last six months had been relatively clean; he’d stayed away from the nastier clubs and their denizens, and no one could object to the women he’d been seeing, especially the latest. He put the phone on speaker and turned to gaze out the window of his Luthor Corp office. The early morning sun shimmered along the edges of the office towers, casting them in a glow they didn’t deserve. “Nothing, he says. Have you read the Planet today, Lex?” Swiveling back to his desk, Lex lifted the apparently offensive paper from where he’d tossed it earlier. “The front section. Why, did I make Entertainment again?” “Not quite. Although, the piece itself is quite entertaining. I almost laughed when I saw it. What’s-her-name will be particularly pleased.” Lionel sounded jovial now, his voice ringing out into the cavernous room. “Turn to the classifieds. Specifically, the announcements.” “Her name is Cynthia.” Lex quickly rifled through the newsprint leaves. Towards the back he saw it: LUTHOR/KENT – With great joy Alexander (Lex) J. Luthor and Clark J. Kent announce their engagement. The children of Lionel and Lillian (d.) Luthor of Metropolis and Jonathan and Martha Kent of Smallville, Lex and Clark will commit to each other in Metropolis in October. “Clark Kent. Of Smallville.” In his surprise, Lex nearly forgot his father was still on the phone. He started when he got a reply. “The boy who saved your life. Only, not a boy anymore I suppose. But you would know for sure, wouldn’t you, since you’re marrying him.” Lionel sounded more and more amused as he speculated. “I’m sure he’ll make you a good wife. Just pray he doesn’t want you to take over the family farm.” Lex sighed. “Thank you for informing me about the misuse of my name. Goodbye, Dad.” He punched the ‘end’ button a little harder than necessary to kill the call. Clark Kent of Smallville; Lex hadn’t heard that name in a few months, hadn’t seen the bearer in years. The ad had to be a joke, but who would try to get at him that way? Just thinking about it for two minutes brought to mind a half-dozen more effective ways of damaging Lex’s reputation. Could Clark have done it? Why? Lex always believed Clark to be an upstanding young man; certainly all the reports on him had been positive. Honor roll in high school, scholarship to Met U, internship at the Daily Planet: nothing in public record indicated that Clark would be any kind of a practical joker. Even his arrest records in high school—serious crimes for which all charges had been dropped—didn’t show anything except that Clark had a natural talent for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If Clark did this to get back in Lex’s life…well, he didn’t have to. Even though they’d never been friends, Lex’s door was always open to Clark. He’d said so in the congratulatory letters. Clark had only responded with polite, Emily-Post-inspired phrases of thanks. So it couldn’t be Clark’s doing. No, someone wanted to toy with Lex, or possibly Clark, in a mildly damaging way. In any case, the Planet was at fault for printing the ad without proper fact-checking. * Perry White groaned out loud at the text in front of him. He had editors for this kind of thing and most of the time they did their jobs well, so why did one of them have to mess up on this particular ad? Any idiot knew that Lex Luthor wouldn’t be announce his impending marriage in such an understated way; he hadn’t the first time. Lex would demand it be painted on the moon before he’d buy a tiny little ad in the Daily Planet. No, somebody clearly screwed up, and he or she did it with the Luthor name attached. Heads would roll and Perry was pretty sure his would be first. Perry stalked up the stairs to confront Megan in Classifieds. Information would be his defense when one of the Luthors or their lawyers finally reached him. Megan was in her office, ready for his reaction. “Tell me this is a joke, Megan,” Perry began, deliberately not closing the office door. “It’s not. I’m so sorry sir, I have no idea how this happened. I just noticed it myself.” She sounded nervous and that made Perry happy for just a bit. Her fingers twitched at the paper in front of her. Perry’s mood lightened even more. “So what did you do when you noticed?” “I called Mr. Luthor’s assistant. She confirmed that the ad is a hoax.” Megan swallowed hard. “Sir, we’ll find out which idiot working for me allowed this to happen.” “There are so many, you know. Idiots working for you, that is.” “Yes, sir.” “Megan?” “Yes, sir?” “Get me as much information as you can, then tell everyone to clean out their desks.” * The sound of applause greeted Clark as he walked into the newsroom. He glanced around for the person it was aimed at, but saw nothing unusual. Then he realized everyone was looking at him. He stumbled a little on his way to his desk, ducking the pats on the back aimed at him. “So, Kent, marrying up, I see.” Lois looked far too pleased with herself for a Sunday morning at five. She followed him to his desk and perched on the edge. Clark sat and started prioritizing his to-do list. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lois.” She smiled slowly. “Really, it’s the way to go. Find a rich man, marry him, drop out of school and then you’ll never have to intern for me again.” “Why do you keep talking about marriage? Is there something I should know?” Lois simply kept smiling and pointed at the wall beside him, where six pieces of paper seamed together proclaimed loudly that he was about to marry Lex Luthor. “Oh.” “Oh? You mean it’s not true?” Lois’s expression of sympathy needed a lot of work. “I had such hopes for you, Kent.” Clark peered at her from behind his glasses. “Is this some kind of hazing ritual? ‘Cause I’ve been through worse.” “Considering that you’re going back to school tomorrow, the hazing would be a bit late now, wouldn’t it? No, Kent, this announcement is,” she checked her watch, “hitting the stands all over Metropolis right about now.” “Shit. I need to call my parents.” He reached out to his phone, but Lois stopped his hand. “Come on, Clark, give.” Lois’s voice was surprisingly quiet and gentle. “I know you wouldn’t do something like this, but Lex does have a habit of making public proclamations of love. How long have you been together?” Clark shook his head and snatched up the phone. “We’re not together, Lois. I don’t even know the guy.” “Oh yes you do.” “Not really, I don’t. You’re the one who’s friends with him.” “Not friendly enough, it would seem.” Lois gave in, but her determination remained etched on her face. “I will find out the truth, Kent. One way or another.” * “Give up, Lois. Just admit that your paper made a mistake and move on. Your dignity demands it.” Lex could picture the look on her face, half catlike curiosity, half righteous anger. “Lex, Lex, Lex,” she drawled. “You can’t hide now. Just tell me how long you’ve been seeing him.” Lex grinned to himself, pausing a moment to toy with Lois. “I haven’t seen Clark Kent in about three years.” “But you do know him.” “As much as I know anybody in Smallville, yes.” “And he saved your life. It’s a matter of public record, Lex.” “Yes, he saved my life. Happy?” “You gave him a truck. That’s a big gesture.” “It’s a big life.” “Stop stonewalling me.” Lex, too, was becoming impatient, and he stifled a sigh. “I gave him a truck. He thanked me. I think the most we ever said to each other after that was hello. The end.” “That’s really it?” “You sound disappointed.” “I was hoping you’d give me more.” “Have you asked Clark Kent?” “Yeah, but he says the same thing you do. That it’s a mistake.” “He shows amazing sense for someone interning at the Planet.” Lois ignored the dig, as she did most. “Hey, he just walked in from lunch. You want to talk to him?” “No.” “Come on, Lex. A marriage can’t survive without communication.” “Like you would know.” From Lois’s end of the line Lex could hear a male voice speaking sharply to her. The word ‘Luthor’ caught his attention. Lois’s retort came back a little muffled. “Bite me, Kent. Maybe marrying Lex will cause some of his class to rub off on you. I’m back,” she said into the phone again. “What’s he like these days?” Lois snorted. “Call him yourself and find out.” The connection went dead. * Clark’s day, which had started in such a spectacular manner, only got worse as it went on. The Planet staff—about three-quarters of whom genuinely believed that he was marrying Lex Luthor—alternately teased and congratulated him. Perry demanded to know why Clark would do such a thing and Jimmy wanted to throw him a bridal shower. When he got back from a blessedly quiet lunch not only was Lois on the phone with Lex, but Clark’s dad was waiting for him at his desk. After acidly telling Lois that maybe she should marry Lex Luthor, if she knew so much about it, Clark faltered when he saw his father. Jonathan Kent had a wide range of facial expressions and the one he wore when he noticed Clark was deeply into the territory of pissed off. “We need to talk.” Jonathan settled back in Clark’s chair. “Did you have to come all the way up here to do it? Couldn’t we have done this over the phone this morning?” “No, son, I need to see your face when you tell me you’ve betrayed everything your mother and I have taught you.” Clark could feel the multitude of gazes on him. “Can we at least go into the conference room?” He gestured feebly to a nearby door. Jonathan stood and headed to the door. Clark followed, eyes downcast, shutting the door behind him. “Dad…,” Clark started, but his father cut him off. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Clark? Toying with Lex Luthor? After everything he and his father have done to us and our town?” “I’m not toying with him, Dad.” “Well I don’t know what you call it, but committing to him?” Jonathan’s face was red; he’d clearly been stewing about it the entire trip up to Metropolis. “Dad.” “Marrying him?” Clark couldn’t help but shout back. “It’s not like that, Dad!” Jonathan paced the length of the room, ignoring Clark. “Are you seriously telling me that you’re going to let him know your secrets?” “Dad! Will you let me say something?” Jonathan crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall. “All right.” “This announcement, it’s a joke.” Clark fought to keep his voice calm; he’d learned the hard way that his father didn’t react well to yelling and Clark had already broken that rule. “Why on Earth would you draw attention to yourself by joking with Lex Luthor?” Crossing the room to face his father, Clark took a deep breath and answered, “It’s not my joke. Someone put that in the paper as a joke. No, I don’t know who or why.” “Probably Luthor did it himself as an excuse to get at you. He’s always been a suspicious little weasel.” Jonathan started pacing again, this time with less anger. In a small voice, Clark replied, “He didn’t need to do that. He’s been in contact with me for years now.” Jonathan whirled around to confront his son. “Jesus Christ, Clark! That man cost us our organic farming license and you’re playing nice with him?” “It’s not like that! He writes me letters to congratulate me for big things I do, like graduating or getting this job. I thank him. That’s it.” “I knew I never should have let you take that truck.” “He’s never even mentioned it. He didn’t even ask why we sold it right away.” “You’ve always been too trusting, son. He knew we needed money and he knew we’d sell the damn thing. Now we’re in debt to him. He probably even funded your scholarship and got you this job. Your boss seems awfully cozy with him on the phone out there.” Clark’s face fell. “You don’t really think….” “I do. Even though he rarely talked to you after the accident, he was always asking questions about you, about our family, as long as he lived in Smallville. Now he’s found another way to get at you.” “No.” “Yes.” Clark gave in to the possibility that Lex was less than sincere. “I don’t know what to do.” “Go back to school tomorrow and keep your head down. I’m going to insist that Mr. White print a retraction. If you’re careful this will all blow over.” * After Lois hung up on him, Lex decided it was time to act. Unfortunately the Daily Planet was right across the street from his building, so he didn’t have the satisfaction of screeching to a noisy halt in one of his cars and storming in. Instead, he decided to use stealth. It worked, in that he was halfway across the outer room on his way to Perry White’s office before Lois called out his name. Putting on a smile, he crossed to her desk. “You’re here to see him,” she asked kindly, in a voice low enough for others not to hear. “I’m here to chew out Perry, but I wouldn’t object…,” his voice trailed off as Lois pointed toward the conference room window, where he could see Jonathan Kent waving his finger at someone, presumably Clark. “Maybe not.” Lois followed his gaze. “Wow. Nearly twenty-one years old and still your father treats you like a kid. Not that you’d know that feeling or anything.” Lex didn’t rise to her bait. “Clark’s family has always been…different. I never could find out very much, except that his parents are overprotective. The whole town was close-mouthed about the Kent family.” “Abuse?” “I don’t think so. Although, there was an incident at his high school one time. It was shortly after I moved back here, so I never did find out what really happened. Look, I need to talk to Perry. Later?” Lois nodded, and Lex finished his trip to Perry White’s office. Although most of the Planet staff were jaded Metropolites pretending not to notice him, he could feel their sideways glances. He was expected to put on a show, and he was happy to oblige. He slammed Perry’s door open without knocking and didn’t quite shout, “White!” The reply came as he expected. “Luthor! What do you want?” Lex slammed the door behind him and lowered his voice. “I thought we had a deal, Perry. I feed you stories about my father and you stay out of my personal life.” Perry sat down at his desk as if the yelling had never happened. “I swear, Lex, I had no idea this was coming. I’ve looked into it, but all clues as to who placed the ad are gone. I fired everyone involved.” “I’m glad to hear that. And a retraction?” “The order has already been sent. I wrote the copy myself.” Lex picked up a cheap coffee cup from Perry’s desk. “Mind if I throw this?” “Be my guest.” Lex hurled the cup at the door, where it shattered. He opened the door and whirled around to face Perry, mindful of his audience. “If anything like this ever happens again, White, I will parade around town with your head on a stick!” “Get the hell out of my office, Luthor!” Perry yelled back. Lex stormed out into the main room, stopping short when he caught Jonathan Kent’s glare. Lex shifted his gaze to take in the hurt in Clark’s face. He’d had no idea they were both still there. He stood for a moment, wondering how to make it all better when he saw Lois put a hand on Clark’s shoulder. Lois would make it right. “Mr. Kent. Clark,” he greeted them. “It’s good to see you again.” Not giving either a chance to respond, Lex finished his now not-so-triumphant exit. * Stunned from what happened in the news room, Clark went back to school, back to his dorm room where he’d been allowed to live over the summer. He kept his head down, which worked for about an hour until his new and returning dormmates took up their rooms that evening. The people who knew him taunted him and offered gossip to those who didn’t. The people who knew his sexual preferences looked at him with new respect, as if he really were marrying Lex Luthor, which in their minds was correct. Clark tried to defend himself, tried to disabuse everyone of the notion, but for once his innate modesty acted against him. His classmates knew he frequently denied being interesting in any way; he always acted like nothing had happened after being praised in class for his insight. He grinned and looked abashed when he physically helped someone. Clark’s acquaintances really couldn’t be blamed for thinking he might be doing the same thing in this case. He briefly considered simply bragging about his fiance just until they got annoyed and started ignoring him, but it just wasn’t in his nature. He wasn’t that good an actor, either. Clark grit his teeth through the first-night dorm-bonding activities and wished he had somewhere else to be. No one was allowed to skip the party, however, unless they had a really good excuse and were prepared to defend it in kangaroo court. Clark, better with the written word than the spoken, wasn’t. He went to the party, participated in the games, and pretended he didn’t notice the awe and preferential treatment directed at him. Not until eleven o’clock did he realize that the same preferential treatment would have allowed him to hide out in his room that night, no questions asked. The party ended and Clark collapsed wearily on his bed, not even bothering to get undressed. He was just drifting in a haze when the phone rang; he answered it, vowing to kill if it was another prank call. “This is not Clark Kent’s room.” “It isn’t?” The voice was unfamiliar to Clark; he expected it was that guy who’d flirted with him during the party. “Not if you’re going to mention Lex Luthor.” “That’s too bad. I always like to get to know people before I marry them.” “Lex?” Clark sat straight up on his bed, a little dizzy. “In the flesh. Or voice, as the case may be.” For some reason Clark found himself standing and brushing off his clothes as if Lex really were in the room. “I’m so sorry. It’s just…you’d never believe what I’ve been through since that ad ran. Or maybe you would.” “I would. I’ve experienced some of it myself.” “At least you can screen your calls and your visitors. I had to go to work yesterday. But you knew that.” Lex paused and Clark heard papers rustling. “Clark, about yesterday….” “Lois told me it’s all an act that you and Perry put on.” “Still, it must have been a shock.” “Yeah. Hey, how did you get my phone number?” “Lois.” “Shit.” “She can be, at times.” Clark laughed, startled. “Don’t ever tell her that.” “I’ve been telling her that since we were twelve.” “Wow. So, um, how’ve you been?” Clark made himself sit down, hoping it would calm his nerves. Despite the letters and notes, Clark still felt that Lex was levels above him and should be given far more respect than Clark was awake enough to give right now. “Very well.” “Happy to be out of Smallville?” “In a manner of speaking. Did you have a good first year at university?” “Yeah, pretty good. It was easier than I thought.” “It frequently is.” They paused again awkwardly. Finally Clark made an overture. “I didn’t put the ad in, you know. I don’t play practical jokes.” “I never thought you did. I was wondering if you had any ideas.” Lex’s voice sounded flat, different from the light tone he had when he first called. “Someone out to discredit you?” “Possibly. I’m already looking into it.” “It’s an awfully amateurish attempt, though.” “I agree.” Clark thought for a bit. “It could be someone playing a prank on me. But I can’t see why they’d link me to you.” “Curious, isn’t it? I think we should get together to work this out.” Clark hesitated, thinking back to what his father had said. “I’d rather not, Lex. I’ve got school.” “You said first year was easy. Second year shouldn’t be much harder.” “It might be. I have labs this year.” “Just lunch, then, or a cup of coffee. We’ll brainstorm who might have it in for us.” “I just want to let it go. Forget about it.” “You can’t do that, Clark. You have to find out who it is and get some kind of justice. That way whoever it is won’t try something worse.” “What could be worse than me marrying you?” Silence greeted him, and Clark realized what he’d said. “I’m sorry, Lex. It’s just, you know, in the eyes of others….” Lex sounded hurt, as he had every right to be. “Of course. Your family, your friends, all of whom hate me. That’s reasonable.” “I am sorry I said that. It’s not personal.” “It never is. I’ve ordered a retraction. It should be printed tomorrow.” “Okay.” “See you around, Clark.” “Sure, Lex.” Clark hung up. He was wide awake now, so he dug up the letters Lex had sent him over the years and reread them. They were terse but friendly and never hinted at any inappropriate curiosity about Clark. There were no offers of gifts or even friendship, just words of congratulation and confidence in Clark’s continued success. After carefully analyzing the letters, Clark wasn’t sure he believed that Lex just wanted to get near him; not for the reasons his father thought he did. There was really only one thing left for Clark to do: he had to find the real culprit and clear Lex. * Any hopes Clark had of sweeping the whole incident under the rug were blown when he saw the Monday morning headline of the Metropolis Inquisitor: Luthor vs. Daily Planet: Gay Sex Scandal Rocks Metropolis. The story didn’t tell him anything new, but it did tell anyone who had missed Sunday’s Planet all about the fake announcement. The whole city now knew of his supposed relationship with Lex. Clark got three steps into the Underground before he was attacked from behind. Since there was only one person in Metropolis who would tackle-hug him, he felt confident greeting Chloe by name. Not bothering to say hello, Chloe dragged him to her table in the crowded cafe. “So, Clark, you’ve got to tell me all about it.” She sank abruptly into the deep velvet couch and folded her hands in her lap, putting on her attentive look. Clark sat kitty-corner to her. “There’s nothing to tell.” She snapped her fingers wryly. “Damn. A girl can always hope.” “What is with you and Lois? “It’s about romance, Clark. It’s about wanting to see two sad, strange men find happiness.” Chloe sounded wistful. “Right. I’ll be happy if I can figure out who did this.” “Buy me a cup of coffee and I’ll be happy to show you how.” Clark peered at her sideways, then looked at his shoes. “Chloe…I don’t have a job yet.” “Oh. Well then, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee and we’ll both be a little closer to true happiness.” She smiled brightly and made her way to the counter. She returned a few minutes later with two large mugs and a plate of cookies. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: it really sucks that your scholarship doesn’t allow for extra spending money.” “At least I got one.” “True.” She sat closer to him and held out the plate. When he didn’t take a cookie she set it on the table and helped herself. “The work-study office has been good to me, too. I went today and they’ve got a couple of jobs I can apply for.” Chloe tried to swallow her bite of cookie and talk at the same time. “Ooh, like what?” Clark pulled the forms out of his bag. “Shelving books in the library, working for the university caterers, that kind of thing.” Chloe grabbed the papers from his hand, discarding them as she looked. “Library: boring. Gift shop: boring. Catering: exciting.” “You think waiting tables is exciting?” Clark frowned as he looked at the form, wondering what he’d missed. “Not waiting tables—serving major, newsworthy people at major, newsworthy events. Keep your ears open and it could be very profitable.” “I guess. They’d want me to start next weekend, though, so I couldn’t go home with you.” Chloe nodded smartly. “Hey, you owe me a coffee now. Go make money so you can give it to me.” “So tell me what to do about this ad. I’ve already talked to Lois today and she said the ad was placed by mail with cash payment included.” Clark picked up one of the cookies and broke it in half; a mess of caramel oozed out. He was glad for the distraction. “And they took it without verifying?” “The guy working there was new. He thought it was legit.” “Wow. That’s weird.” “Perry fired everyone in that department yesterday. Of course, he hired almost everyone back this morning.” Chloe shook her head ruefully. “Man, the things I missed out on by taking the copyediting position upstairs instead of being in the news room.” “You’re lucky you weren’t there yesterday. The whole scene with Perry and Lex and my dad was almost physically painful.” Clark licked at the caramel, hoping for some comfort. “They were all there? Dish, Clark.” * Lex stared at the front page of the Inquisitor and wondered who he’d have to kill for a tumbler of scotch right now. He’d stopped keeping alcohol in the office after that embarrassing incident with the hooker that had left his sleeve reeking of vodka right before an important meeting. Monday had never been Lex’s favourite day of the week; the business world held everything in all weekend and it tended to explode every Monday morning. This Monday also featured his own personal hell that was the Inquisitor. On second thought, Lex could just kill Roger Nixon and then he wouldn’t need the scotch. Somewhat mollified at the thought, Lex picked up the phone and dialed. “Lois Lane,” came a cheery female voice. “Lois, it’s Lex.” “Ah, I wondered when you’d be calling. Perhaps you have a statement to make? Maybe a denial?” Lex loved Lois as much as he loved anyone but there were reasons—evident right there in the tone of her voice—why he would never, ever date her. “You know the drill as well as I do by now, Lois. ‘Blah blah, practical joke, blah blah old acquaintance, blah blah no truth in these rumours, blah blah blah.” “How many ‘blah’s was that exactly?” “I’m really not in the mood, Lane.” “All right, all right. Don’t get your knickers in a knot.” “You’re so quaint. You’d never know you went to private school.” “Shove it.” “Much better.” Lex relaxed a little. Lois had that effect on him; she was pretty much the only person who’d talk back to him, and Lex liked it. He sat back in his chair and fingered the paper. After a pause, Lois spoke. “You know this article is more about the Planet than it is about you, right?” “What makes you so sure about that?” “I can read.” “Really? They’re teaching that to girls these days?” “Look at the third paragraph. ‘The number of errors the Daily Planet prints per day has gone up substantially since Perry White took charge.’ Someone has it in for my paper.” “Better you than me.” “It’s a two-for-one deal, Lex. Or three if you count Clark.” “Why couldn’t they have left him out of it? He’s just a kid.” Lex could hear Lois’s ears prick up. “A kid you’re suddenly very protective of.” “He reminds me of myself at that age.” “Ha! Good one. Really, Lex, what’s up?” “He’s…intriguing.” “And another joke from the mogul. You should look into stand-up.” “I’m not joking, Lois. The Clark you know and the Clark I know are very different creatures.” “Is your Clark as hot as mine is?” “I wouldn’t know. I don’t think about men that way.” “Right.” “Lois, how many times do we have to have this conversation?” “Until you get it right.” “I’m hanging up now.” “Okay.” Lex hung up and placed his second non-business call of the day to Clark, to check up on his reaction to the latest article. That reaction became clear as soon as Clark answered, growling out his name as if it would ward off impending evil. Lex had to chuckle. “Surely it can’t be that bad, Clark.” “Lex, this time you really have no idea. I’ve been getting calls from people I forgot existed. My dad called three times to talk about suing the Inquisitor, my mom called once more to make sure I knew not to answer the phone. A guy from the ACLU wanted to know if I’m being harassed by my profs. I told him the only people harassing me were busybodies like him. He didn’t enjoy that.” “All that happened since this morning?” “The first calls started at dawn. I’m considering abandoning my room to study in the cafeteria, but I’m afraid of who’d corner me there. Wedding planners, Lex. It could be wedding planners.” “Dear God, no. If that happens no one would blame you for resorting to violence.” “Even I don’t have that kind of power. Mom hosted a friend’s wedding at the farm, once. It was awful, Lex. All those lists.” “I can imagine.” “Right, you got married, didn’t you? I’d forgotten.” “Believe me, I haven’t. So you’re managing?” “Yeah. Have you talked to Lois? What’s the Planet going to do?” “She didn’t say anything, but I imagine Perry won’t be happy about it. I expect a rebuttal.” “Great. They get involved in their own little conflict and we, the real victims, get left behind. Does anyone even care who started this anymore?” “I’ve got people working on it.” “Dad still thinks it’s you pulling a publicity stunt.” “It’s not, Clark.” “I’ve got to go to class.” “Have fun. Clark, are you sure you don’t want to get together?” Clark paused, and Lex could hear him breathing. “No, I’m not entirely sure, but I think it might be a bad idea.” “Okay.” Reluctantly, Lex hung up and went back to work. * Clark should have known. It made all kinds of sense when he looked at it backwards. The Metropolis University benefactors’ dinner was full of alumni and philanthropists, so he shouldn’t have been so surprised when he got to table seven and served the first appetizer to Lex. The week had been relatively quiet; he only got three calls a day from newspapers and gay rights advocates, down from the twelve he’d received the day after the Inquisitor article came out. Talk hadn’t died down, but was now discussed in editorial columns rather than front page articles. Clark had been able to relax. In Clark’s defense, Lex seemed surprised to see him as well. They shrugged off their initial reactions with generous smiles and warm hellos which drew the attention of the table’s other occupants. By the time Clark came back with the entrees, all conversation had turned to the supposed marriage. “Clark, tell them.” Lex practically pleaded, tugging on the sleeve of Clark’s jacket as he passed. Clark sighed. “There is no wedding.” He pushed past to serve Mrs. De Graff’s prime rib. She winked at him. “Of course not. It wouldn’t be a wedding without a bride.” “Now, Sylvia, a wedding is a wedding no matter who’s in it. It’s the sentiment that’s important.” Her husband patted her hand as he spoke. “That’s a very enlightened opinion, Mr. De Graff.” Lex looked impressed. “We have a nephew,” replied Mrs. De Graff. “So you see you don’t have to hide from us.” Clark, who should have been halfway back to the kitchen, couldn’t hold his tongue. “If we felt we had to hide why would we put an ad in the paper?” Lex frowned at him. “Which we didn’t do.” Jennifer Andrews, class of ’02, joined the conversation. “Oh, we all know the ad was an accident.” “Not exactly,” started Lex. But Jennifer wasn’t finished. “And that you meant to keep your ceremony a secret, but some people will gossip. Someone jumped the gun.” Clark leaned over and murmured “Good luck,” in Lex’s ear before slipping away. “So cute together,” he heard in the distance. After the dinner and the speeches, Clark wasn’t terribly surprised to see Lex striding toward where he leaned against the wall outside the kitchen. The topic of conversation had never really changed throughout the dinner, and Clark got the feeling they’d only dug themselves a deeper hole by dessert. “So,” Clark began as Lex reached him. “What now?” Lex grinned at him. “Society is conspiring against us. I suggest we embrace it.” “Pardon?” “I think the best thing to do is ignore it. When the ceremony doesn’t happen, people will stop talking.” Lex leaned his head back against the wall. “My dad said something remarkably similar.” Lex’s head rolled to one side as he looked at Clark. “It’s the law of gossip, something that the lovely Jennifer reminded me of tonight: people will talk about you until they find someone more interesting to talk about, and there’s always someone more interesting to come.” “So that’s it, then? We go our separate ways and stop answering the phone for a while?” “Is that what you want?” Lex leaned away from the wall and towards Clark, his eyes searching. “It’s what my parents want.” Clark took a deep breath. “They hate you, Lex. I can’t hide that.” “But is it what you want?” Clark was inexplicably saddened by the thought. He realized that he’d enjoyed talking to Lex, even under the circumstances. “No. It’s not what I want. You?” “Even when we first met I thought we might be friends. Now we’ve been thrown together in an absurd situation and given a second chance. Fate is trying to tell us something.” “Buy low, sell high?” Lex laughed, a warm, engaging sound Clark had never heard from him before. He put a hand on Clark’s arm. “True friendship cannot be denied.” Clark smiled openly. “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” “Let me buy you lunch tomorrow and we’ll debate it.” Lex was just withdrawing his hand when the camera flash caught them, and when they turned around the culprit was nowhere to be seen. * Lex was having a hard time understanding the feeling that sat right below his sternum. It was a little, tingling flair of heat, causing his breath to quicken and his heart to pound. The sensation wasn’t wholly unfamiliar—he’d felt the same thing on meeting several women he’d ended up dating—but the context was strange. He’d been feeling this way around Clark all evening and the feeling intensified whenever Clark smiled at him or—and Lex had nearly fallen over—whispered in his ear. Lex had found himself looking for reasons to touch Clark and, as if his body had flipped a switch that his brain agreed with, ended up nearly begging Clark to be his friend. Now he had a lunch date with him, too. Pulling into his favourite parking spot, Lex noticed that Cynthia was waiting for him by the elevator. He smiled at her as he got out of the car, enjoying the view as she joined him. He pulled her close, kissing her lightly. “How was your dinner,” she asked, loosening his tie. “Aggravating. Yours?” Lex stepped them both out of the way so he could close up the car. “Delightful. All anyone could talk about was you and your paramour.” Cynthia was smiling, she must not have minded much. Lex took her arm and guided her to the elevator. Once they were safely inside he kissed her more deeply, relishing that same tingling feeling he’d been plagued by earlier. “That’s the reason my dinner was aggravating,” Lex told her, fingering the lock of chestnut hair that had fallen artfully out of its twist. “You look amazing tonight.” “Thank you. You look pretty damn tasty yourself.” The elevator slowed and the doors opened, allowing them to step out into the foyer of Lex’s apartment. Lex didn’t bother turning on the lights, but set himself to nuzzling the tender spot where her neck met her shoulder, making Cynthia sigh. “Lex?” “Mm-hmm?” The curve of her neck gave way to her earlobe, which Lex nipped tenderly. “We’re good together.” They were, and Lex had no problems with giving credit where it was due. “Absolutely.” “Have you thought…? Never mind. It’s not important.” Her hands slid down his back and under his jacket, pulling them even closer. “You’re right, it’s not important,” Lex answered. “But you don’t know what I was going to say.” Lex pulled back to look her in the eye. The soft light from the windows was just bright enough that he could see her slightly wounded expression. “I can’t make that decision yet, Cyn.” “It’s okay, Lex. I can wait.” She took his hand and led him to the bedroom they shared most nights. * When Lex got to his office the next morning a copy of the Inquisitor was waiting for him on his assistant’s desk. There on the front page, just as he’d expected, was the photo from last night, somehow made to look a whole lot less innocent than the simple action of one friend touching another. Lex ripped the front page off the paper and hunted for the keys to his assistant’s file cabinet. She kept a file specifically for articles about him, positive or not. Lex liked having this record of his past, his actions, and how they affected public opinion of him. The keys were in the top drawer, and as he lifted them out his hand caught on a piece of paper fastened to the inside roof of the drawer. Carefully peeling the tape away, Lex fervently hoped he wasn’t going to see what he thought he’d see. The paper fell away and Lex lifted it out. There it was, in various incarnations, the handwritten text of the announcement. * Perry didn’t leave the Planet building very often. He went home for a few hours each night, but for the most part he stuck around and did his job obsessively, trying to make up for the years he wasted in manic drunkenness. Everything he needed was delivered to him at the office and no minute was spent non-editorially. So when he actually walked out the front door on a beautiful fall day he didn’t wonder why members of his staff asked about his health. He brushed them off and told them he was fine, because he really was. Perry had just finished an important piece of investigative journalism and was off to confront the person responsible for the fake ad. As he stepped outside he started to hail a cab, but changed his mind and walked the five blocks. The sun was out and he thought he could actually smell fresh air between the gusts of exhaust and the stench of garbage. He enjoyed his walk, relishing the victory that would soon be his. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he almost missed the building he was going to, despite the giant blue letters painted on the window that spelled out “Metropolis Inquisitor”. As he pulled open the large glass door he decided against having the receptionist announce him. Perry knew where the editor’s office was; he’d been there often enough during his black period of monster-chasing. Now, however, he was going there armed with absolute truth, and the truth would win him victory over his enemies. Perry’s heart pounded. It had been a few years since he’d done any investigating himself and he still loved the feeling. Roger Nixon, Editor. The door was closed, but because the blinds on the window weren’t quite down Perry could see someone moving around in the office. As he threw open the door Perry hoped it was Nixon himself and not an assistant. It was. Nixon looked up from the file cabinet he was kneeling before and a moment of confusion twisted his face. “Perry?” Perry smiled. “I think you know why I’m here, Roger.” Nixon stood and faced him. “You started boozing again and need a new job?” “Not hardly. I’m here because you have something to tell me.” “All right, I’ll admit it. I’ve always thought you were a gasbag blowhard.” “You think you can shake me? I know everything, and I suggest we call a truce.” “I didn’t know we were at war.” “What do you call it when you plant fake ads in my paper?” “I had nothing to do with that.” “Really? Because you haven’t benefited from it at all. Your circulation went up by fifty percent with that last piece of trash you published. You put the ad in the Planet to give your own crap legitimacy.” “Everything I print comes from reliable sources.” “Come on, Roger. I know as well as you do that your sources are only as good as their medication.” Nixon crossed to his desk and sat down, picking up a paper clip and twisting it out of shape. “Okay. Yes, I took advantage of the situation, but I in no way manufactured it.” Perry studied Nixon closely, measuring his response against years of experience. “Strangely enough, I believe you.” Nixon clapped a hand over his heart. “I’m honoured.” “Right.” Perry was halfway out the door when Nixon stopped him. “There is something you should know.” Perry turned slightly. “Oh, really.” “Yes. From one colleague to another.” “What would that be?” “Our source. The person who did this is very close to Luthor.” * After a long conversation with his assistant, Pria, Lex was convinced that she didn’t do it. She had no reason at all to play a joke like that, and was suitably outraged—with a digression into why he should keep his hands out of her desk—when he mentioned where he’d found the page. Clearly someone had set her up, so he’d let her go back home to enjoy her Sunday afternoon and Lex himself went up to the penthouse to get ready for his lunch date. Cynthia was just putting her coat on when he entered. “Lex, good. I was just about to head out. Mom’s birthday, you know.” Lex gave her a quick kiss. “I’m having lunch with Clark, anyway. I just came back to pick up my coat.” “Do you really think that’s wise, Lex? Meeting Clark in public, especially after what happened last night?” “It’ll be fine.” Cynthia winked at him before opening the door. “Don’t have too much fun. You never know who’s watching.” Lex grabbed his coat and followed her out to the elevator and to the lobby. As the front door closed behind them, Cynthia turned too quickly to him and lost her balance. She tipped forward to him, a frown creasing her brow, and steadied herself by grasping his lapel. “Oops,” she laughed. “I was just going to ask where you’re eating.” Lex helped her upright. “Tamarind, just up the street.” “Sounds lovely. See you later, Lex.” Lex watched as she flagged down a taxi, then walked in the opposite direction to the restaurant. * Clark waited patiently for Lex, absorbed in eating his shrimp crackers and watching the other patrons. He didn’t mind the wait, it gave him time to think about what he’d tell his parents about his newfound friendship with someone they only knew as a tabloid headline. He wondered when they’d realize he was old enough to make his own decisions and his own mistakes. Not that he thought friendship with Lex would be a mistake; on the contrary, it could benefit him in many ways, not the least of which being that he’d have another friend. Chloe and Lois and Jimmy were great, but being around any of them for too long was tiring, even to Clark. Lex was calm. Peaceful. Clark found his voice soothing, with smooth, even tones that masked his real feelings. Thinking about it made Clark suddenly want to provoke Lex, just to hear that voice crack with anger or sorrow. A shadow crossed Clark’s vision, and Lex sat down across from him. “Do you…what makes you sad?” Lex smiled crookedly and picked up a menu. “That’s an awfully personal question.” “Sorry. I was just thinking and it slipped out.” Clark opened his own menu and read it, even though he knew what he wanted. “Happy children.” Clark looked up. “What?” Lex met his gaze evenly. “Happy children make me sad.” “Shouldn’t happy children make you happy?” Lex shrugged. “I’m strange that way.” “Well, I guess as long as sad children don’t make you happy, you’re okay.” Clark put down his menu and took another cracker. He needed to do something with his hands. “I’m glad to have your expert opinion on that.” Lex put down his menu and the waiter appeared out of nowhere. Their orders placed, Clark folded his hands on the table in front of him. “Would you like my expert opinion on anything else?” “The key to world domination?” Clark nodded sharply. “Talking coffee makers.” “Really?” “It’s not my idea. Chloe says she’d be perfectly happy all day if only when she bitched at her coffee maker for taking too long in the morning it could talk back.” Lex frowned. “You’d think that would only make someone crabbier. Chloe’s your girlfriend?” “Chloe likes to bicker. She’s just a friend from Smallville. Her dad worked for you at the plant.” “Sullivan?” “That’s the one.” “Cute girl. I remember she brought her dad flowers on his birthday one year.” “Yeah. We dared her to. Was he embarrassed?” “No. He was delighted. He had to show them—and her—to everyone.” “Chloe never told us that.” “I can imagine why not.” The tables around them started to fill up as their meals were served. They chatted idly for a while, just enjoying their food. Clark could hear some of the whispers around them, people talking about them and most likely trying to point without pointing. Clark put down his fork. “I think this was a bad idea.” “Your green mango salad? I thought you were enjoying it,” Lex replied, puzzled. “Not the food, the whole being seen in public thing. I’m sure we’re being talked about.” Lex smiled indulgently. “So am I. It’s a part of my life, Clark, and since you’re marrying me it’ll be a part of yours too.” Clark shook his head. “Ha, ha. We should talk about this.” Lex reached across the table and laid his hand on Clark’s, sending a little tingle up Clark’s arm. “The wedding? I’m thinking purple. And maybe orange.” Clark just stared at their hands on the table. “What?” “The colours for the wedding. Purple and orange. Although, chartreuse is also quite attractive.” He pulled his hand away and went back to eating. Finally, Clark looked up at him, dumfounded by what he was feeling. If it wasn’t bad enough that he wanted to be friends with Lex Luthor, what would his parents say if they knew Clark was attracted to Lex Luthor? Clark was pretty sure those feelings weren’t allowed anywhere near Lex. Clark looked Lex’s eyes and saw only confusion. Lex put his hand back on Clark’s. “Clark? You okay?” “Yeah. Purple and orange. Great.” Clark moved his hand a bit, separating his fingers, just to see what would happen. As he’d expected, Lex’s fingers slid between his, softly caressing the delicate interior skin, sending another shiver through Clark. Just like that they were holding hands. Clark pulled his back quickly. He cleared his throat and picked his fork up again. “Yeah. So, do you have any clue yet who set us up?” Lex replied carefully, watching Clark for reaction. “No. I know it’s someone with access to my outer office, but that’s it.” Clark was eating with gusto. “Wow.” “Clark?” “Yes, Lex?” “I’m finished my lunch, and you’re just about done with yours. Would you like to see my home? Maybe play some pool?” “Sure. No!” “Which is it?” “No. I can’t, Lex. I have to be somewhere.” “Where?” Clark thought quickly, remembering things around campus that he might do. “The university choir is singing madrigals on the main lawn. I told Chloe I’d go with her.” Lex smiled slightly, and Clark couldn’t tell whether he believed him or not. “Mind if I tag along?” There was no way out of that one. “Not at all. Let me just call Chloe and tell her to save another seat.” Clark stood and fumbled his way to the men’s room. Chloe was going to hate him forever for dragging her away from the movie marathon she was having with her roommate to go listen to madrigals. Clark wasn’t sure either of them knew what a madrigal was. He hoped they were nice. * “Metropolis Inquisitor, front page: Photo: Cynthia Stanmore begs Lex Luthor not to leave her to marry his lover Photo: The happy couple discussing bridal colours Photo: Luthor and Kent enjoy outdoor concert with unidentified friend Lex Luthor Plans Gay Wedding Extravaganza! Sunday afternoon Lex Luthor and Clark Kent were spotted lunching at Tamarind on Thirty-Eighth Street, not far from the Luthor Corp offices. Among other, more mundane topics, the two discussed either purple and orange or purple and chartreuse as their wedding colours. Wedding Coordinator Jenny Benham had this to say about it: “Those are bold choices, and certainly both men could successfully wear those colours. Purple and orange are the colours of the bird of paradise, which would be a stunning flower in a lapel on a black tux. If they go forward with these plans, weddings in Metropolis will never be boring again.” We have no word on the music they’ve decided on, but a Metropolis University Choir spokesperson said that, if asked, they would be thrilled to perform their madrigals at the Luthor-Kent wedding. The couple also talked about children.” “We also talked about world domination, why didn’t they put that in?” Clark paced around his dorm room, hoping that Chloe wouldn’t notice that in the second picture he and Lex actually were holding hands. “I don’t know, Clark. Maybe because no one would believe that you’d take over the world?” Chloe sat on Clark’s bed, pretending to study. “They believe I’d marry Lex?” Chloe snapped her text book shut and brandished the paper at Clark. “Well, you are holding hands. You sure you don’t have something to tell me?” Clark ripped the paper from her hands and tossed it aside. “Maybe. But that’s as far as I’m going.” “Aw, come on. You two would make beautiful babies.” Clark could feel his eyes bugging out. “Unless there’s really something Lex isn’t telling me, I don’t think that’s likely anyway.” “True. But you have to admit, if medical science allowed it, your babies would be beautiful.” Chloe flopped back down on the bed just as someone knocked on the door. Clark checked the peephole then opened the door. “Yes, we were holding hands. No, it doesn’t mean anything.” Lois stepped all the way in. “Good morning to you too.” “Don’t believe him, Lois. He told me it was a maybe,” Chloe called from the back. Lois took over the rest of the bed, folding her legs demurely beside her. “Maybe what?” Clark tried to hide behind his chair. “I only said that to get you off my back.” Chloe snorted. “Maybe they were having a relationship.” “I swear you guys are the evil minds behind this scheme.” Another knock came from the door, which Clark reluctantly opened. “They did it.” Lex peered around the door. “Who?” Clark opened the door wider and gestured broadly. “Chloe and Lois. They’re the ones who set this whole thing up.” Entering, Lex nodded at the women. “And why would they do that?” “They want us to be together.” Lex’s eyebrows climbed his forehead. “Together? As in, romantically?” Chloe and Lois both nodded, Lois with a little less trepidation than Chloe. “They’re obsessed,” Clark replied. Lex pulled a chair up to the bed and eyed the women seriously. “I think we need to discuss the parameters of this relationship.” Clark snagged his jacket and opened the door. “I’m leaving.” He was ignored. * Clark realized as soon as he got to the farm that it was the last place he should be. His parents would not be happy with the article; they’d be less happy about the pictures. He was just about to run back to Metropolis when the side door opened and his mother walked out. “Clark,” she called, setting down the basket of jars she was holding. “Are you okay? I saw the paper.” She came over and looked at him closely. “It’s not that bad, Mom. I never thought it was a big deal.” Clark led her back to the porch and picked up the basket. “These are going to the storm cellar?” “Yes, thank you honey,” Martha replied as she climbed the steps. “Your father was nearly apoplectic when he saw the pictures.” Clark nodded. “Where is he?” “Out in the north pasture, trying to loosen that stump.” “He shouldn’t be doing that.” Martha’s lips tightened. “There are a lot of things we shouldn’t do, but we do anyway just because we feel like it.” Clark avoided her piercing gaze. “Let me put these away and then we can talk.” When Clark got back his mother had put on a pot of coffee and laid out sweet rolls. The Inquisitor dominated the table. Once again Clark noticed the slightly sappy smile on his face in the second picture. His day just kept getting better. “Is Dad coming in?” Martha sat at her usual place. “I thought it would be best if we talked first. Clark….” Clark sat too, reaching for his cup. “It’s not what you’re thinking, Mom.” “It’s not?” Martha pointed at the picture. “That’s the same look on your face as when you brought Mike home for dinner the first time. Tell me it’s not what I’m thinking.” Clark stifled a sigh. “I can’t say I’m not attracted to him. I can say that I’m not trying to start anything with him.” “What a lovely way of hedging your bets.” “I know you don’t think so, but he’s a nice guy, Mom. We have fun together. Chloe and Lois both like him a lot.” “Chloe and Lois have never been his victims.” “Neither have we.” Clark finished his coffee and started tearing apart a roll. “Mom, did it ever occur to you that we don’t know the whole story? When you think about it, Lex would have to be pretty stupid to just dump barrels of toxic waste with his name on them. There’s more to it than we know.” “He’s been feeding you stories.” “Actually, it was Lois who clued me in. She’s known him since they were kids. Do you really think she—the defender of truth—would choose to be friends with a criminal? Would Mr. Sullivan choose to work with one?” Martha set down her cup with a thud. “I don’t know. Maybe, for their own reasons, they would.” The screen door banged shut behind them as Martha continued. “Either way, I don’t think you should be talking to Lex.” Jonathan loomed up behind her. “I think he should. In fact, I think we all need to talk to Luthor and his lawyers. We’re going to sue the Inquisitor and the Planet for libel.” “What?” “This won’t go away on its own. We need to teach these papers that they can’t mess with peoples lives for their own profit. Clark, call Lex and set up a meeting, today if possible.” * It was funny how quickly a boardroom could fill up on a Monday afternoon when lawyers were involved. After Clark had come back to his dorm room and told Lex about the phone call to his parents, Lex had called his lawyers, who’d called the papers, who’d called their own lawyers, and now the room was full except for the Kents. Even Cynthia was there, claiming to be an injured party. “Nothing in that article isn’t true,” Roger Nixon announced confidently. Perry White, on the other hand, looked grim. After all, it had been his paper’s mistake that had started the whole business. “Let’s wait to discuss this until everyone’s here,” Lex’s lawyer replied. The door opened one more time and the Kents filed in, Clark first. He took the chair on Lex’s other side, leaving his parents to the chairs flanking the group. Lex had warned Clark of what would come and Clark wanted his parents in lesser positions of power. As Lex had predicted, Jonathan attacked. Aiming his vitriol at Nixon. “I’ve been waiting for this, the day you get what’s coming to you.” Also as Lex had predicted, Nixon’s lawyer spoke up. “Please explain to all of us how my client has harmed you.” Jonathan squared his shoulders. “He printed lies about my son and Luthor. I want justice.” The lawyer was unmoved. “Is your son a minor?” Puzzled, Jonathan replied, “No.” “Then why are you the one calling for justice? Is Clark mentally incompetent in some way, that you are still his guardians?” Jonathan sat back, stunned. Lex’s lawyer, Ted, took the opportunity. “Mr. and Mrs. Kent are here to lend support to their son and to explain how their lives have also been affected by the actions of Roger Nixon and Perry White in the service of their employers.” Martha folded her hands primly on the table in front of her. “Our privacy has been invaded. Reporters routinely trespass on our property trying to get pictures. We’ve had to start screening our phone calls and patrolling our land, which constitute a drastic change in our lifestyle and a significant monetary outlay.” Lex looked at Martha with new respect. She winked back at him. Perry’s lawyer decided to get in the game. “And you, Ms. Stanmore?” Cynthia smiled sweetly at him. “My reputation has been sullied.” Nixon rolled his eyes and Perry snorted. “If that’s the best you can come up with you should leave now. Maintain your dignity,” Perry said. Cynthia stood, leaning over the table to him. “I’ve been made a laughing-stock among my peers. They’re calling me ‘The woman who turned Lex Luthor gay’. I have as much right to be here as they do.” She gestured broadly at the Kents. Ted addressed the other set of lawyers. “Thank you for your time. We’ll be filing paperwork in the morning.” They all stood and started to leave. Nixon looked back at Clark. “Everything in that article is true.” He, Perry, and their assorted lawyers left. Clark turned to Lex and Ted. “He’s right. Everything in that article is true. It’s just their interpretation that’s wrong.” Martha approached him. “What are you saying, Clark?” “We joked about wedding colours. We talked about kids and our jobs and Chloe and Thai food.” Clark leaned against the table. “They just put a different spin on it.” “Which isn’t something we can sue them for,” Ted added. “At this point a lawsuit would only complicate your lives more for little result. I have to advise you against it.” Cynthia frowned at Ted. “You can’t just drop this. The lie is that they’re gay. They’re not gay.” Clark half-raised his hand. “Well, I am.” Cynthia’s eyes widened. “What?” “I’m gay,” Clark said blankly. Cynthia started to shake her head. “No. This is not the way it goes.” She picked up her bag and her coat and strode out of the room. Jonathan faced Lex. “What the heck did she mean by that?” Lex stared at the door. “I really have no idea.” * The Kents had gone home and Lex had finally persuaded Clark to come back to the penthouse with him. They now sat on the floor in the den, across a table of take-out, eating and talking merrily, problems forgotten for the moment. Clark was laughing, head thrown back, fork nearly slipping out of his hand. Lex enjoyed every second of it, stunned at the depth of feeling he had for this man he’d only known a week. Clark regained his composure, pulled a stray peanut from his hair and mock-glared at Lex. “You will pay for that.” Lex smirked. “I already did.” He held up his hands to defend from the fistful of steamed millet headed his way. “Besides, you deserved it, mocking my Warrior Angel collection.” “Your Warrior Angel collection deserves to be mocked. It begged for a good mocking.” Clark looked around for something else to throw, but Senegalese food generally lacked good projectiles. Lex still had the peanuts. When Clark’s head was turned, the peanuts once again made their way into his hair. “Oh, that’s it.” Clark threw down his fork as if it were a gauntlet and got to his feet, towering over Lex, not noticing when Lex began eyeing his knees. “You are going down, my friend.” Lex cocked his head, then looked at the floor. “I am down. I can’t get much farther down.” He reached out and before Clark realized what was happening, pulled on the backs of Clark’s knees, sweeping his legs out from under him. Clark’s head hit the wood floor with a thud. Lex winced at the noise. “Ow,” Clark moaned pathetically. Lex crawled over to kneel beside Clark’s head. He gently petted Clark’s hair. “Wow, that had to hurt.” Clark just looked up at him and Lex didn’t notice he was still stroking Clark’s head until he swept a thumb across one thick eyebrow, his fingertips caressing a soft temple. Neither noticed the door open. “No.” Cynthia’s voice startled them, bringing them to their feet. “No, no, no, no, no.” Lex stepped towards her. “Cynthia? What’s wrong?” She just stood there, staring at him. “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. Lex, you were supposed to get angry and marry me to prove that you weren’t marrying some kid from nowhere. You were supposed to marry me.” She whirled around and stormed out, leaving two shocked men behind. Clark shook his head as if to clear it. “Not to sound like my father or anything, but what the heck was that all about?” Suddenly everything clicked. “It was her. She planted the notice, had us followed and photographed. She wanted to embarrass me into marrying her.” “She really thought it would work?” “I guess so. It’s a shame, because I liked her. If she’d just waited a few years….” Lex looked sadly after her. Clark brushed himself off and picked up his jacket. “I have to go.” Lex grabbed his arm as he brushed past. “Wait, Clark?” Clark looked back at him. “Are you at all attracted to me?” Clark gazed at him seriously. “Yeah, Lex. I am.” Lex moved forward, putting a hand on Clark’s chest, sliding it up to his neck. Clark looked down at him, eyes slightly unfocused, tracking his mouth as he spoke. “I need to try something.” Tilting his head slightly, Lex let their mouths touch, gently, exploring his own feelings, his willingness to try this new combination he’d never let himself think about before. Clark’s hands were at his waist, pulling him in, pressing harder with lips and bodies and Lex knew that he could do this just as easily with a man as with a woman. His tongue slipped out in a sigh, touching Clark’s, and the shock was wonderful. Then Clark pulled away. “We can’t do this, Lex. We’re too different. Far more different than you can even imagine.” Lex drew Clark against him, slipping an arm around his waist. He reached up and nuzzled Clark’s cheek, lips just barely grazing lips. He whispered, making a kiss of a statement. “That’s not important, Clark, because in all the ways that matter, we are alike.” <<