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Anna " Hey Lex, what're ya doing?" Clark asked as he walked in to Lex's office. "Go away, Clark." "Come on Lex, you're not still mad at me, are you?" "What do you think, FRUITBOY?" "I said I was sorry." Clark looked at Lex with innocent green eyes. "Yeah and that's suppost to make it alright?" "Damn Lex, you really know how to hold on to a grudge." Clark told Lex as he stood in front of his desk. "I gave you my reasons for wanting to wait, Clark. Why can't you respect my wishes and stop trying to kill me?" "Come on, Lex. I wasn't trying to kill you. I was trying to make you really horny so that you'd forget about wanting to wait. If I killed you, I'd lose my favorite playmate." "Clark, sometimes I really hate you. You know that right?" Lex asked Clark as he took a sip of water from the bottle that was sitting on his desk. "You don't hate me." "How do you know that, farmboy?" "Cause you told me I was the first person you really loved last week." Clark smiled at Lex. "Well, I lied." "You didn't lie, Lex. Cause you told me that you'd never lie to me two weeks ago." Clark told Lex patiently. "Clark, are you going to throw my words back at me just to get you're way?" "Well, yeah. Is it working?" Clark gave Lex his most charming smile. "No, farmboy." Lex shook his head. "Come on, Lex! You know I love you and you love me.....Why can't we just do it?" "Because you're 16 and I don't want to go to jail." Lex told Clark smiling to himself at Clark's persistence. "Who's going to find out?" "Your father and his shotgun, for one." "L.E.X........" A frustrated Clark whined at Lex. "Clark, we can wait until you're a legal 18." A patient Lex told Clark. "But, but that's........." "Two years from now." Lex told the mathematicly challenged farmboy. "L...E...X......!" "Clark, quit whining at me. You know I'm right. It's better for both of us if we wait. Maybe we should cool it for awhile." Lex looked at Clark whose face had turned a bright red. "What are you saying, Lex? You don't want to see me anymore?" A hurt Clark asked his friend as his face turned from red to the palest of white. "I'm not saying that, Clark." Lex felt his heart melting as he saw the pain in Clark's eyes. "What ARE you saying?" he asked as he brushed the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his flannel shirt. "Why don't we do ordinary things together?" Lex actually wanted to say safe things, but he didn't want Clark to know how desperate he was to keep himself safe and Clark happy. Lex would give him the world if he asked for it ,but it would be hard if he were in jail. "Ordinary things?" Clark asked as he fought the tears away. "Yeah, Clark. Ordinary." Lex smiled at Clark as he went to him with a tissue. He would have loved to have wrapped his arms around the farmboy to comfort him, but he knew if he did, he would have lost the war. "Like what?" He asked as he blew his nose and wiped his eyes. "Oh, I don't know. Why don't you think of something?" Lex was so relieved that Clark had stopped crying that he said it without thinking. "Really?" "Yeah. We'll do whatever you want." Lex smiled at him. "Golf." "Golf?" "I've always wanted to learn to play golf." Clark told Lex with a smile. "Golf?" A confused Lex repeated. "Lex, you told me you knew how to play golf and I've only watched it on t.v. You can teach me, right?" "Okay. If that's what you want." Lex answered "YES...." A happy Clark shouted. "........?" "So Lex, are you going to show me how to hold the club?" "What?" "You know. The instructor stands behind the student and shows them how to stand while they hold the club." *AH, OH* Lex thought to himself. "Yeah and I can wiggle my ass in your crotch in public and no one can tell us anything. Cause you're teaching me to golf." Clark's logic was unreal. "Clark......" "You can hold me really close......" "Stop it" "And I'll let you play with my balls......" "Clark........" Lex was feel alittle nauseous with how fast the tables had turned. "And you can watch my ass as I bend over to put the little wood thing in the ground." "Clark, I'm warning you. STOP IT!" "And you can play with my big club." "BUBBA, BUBBA," chanted Lex. "Bubba? Who's Bubba?" "Never mind, Clark. Just stop it, Okay?' "Hummmmm and you can stroke my club all you want." "Bubba's sister, Bubba's sister, Bubba's sister." chanted Lex trying to distract himself as he felt his body harden the more Clark talked. "Bubba's sister? Who's Bubba's sister? Lex, are you feeling alright." Clark asked concerned for Lex as he moved to feel his forehead to check for fever. "Shotgun. Shotgun. Shotgun." Lex continued. "WHAT?" Lex shook his head as if to clear the cobwebs away that had started forming since the beginning of Clark's visit. "I heard a shrink on t.v. say one time that they all have a saying.... I'm not sure you can diagnose and cure a family." (of a persistent horny teenage alien) The end: NOTE from Anna: Okay, Okay so it doesn't quite fit, so sue me and no you can't have my cat. << |