Title: New News (what do you mean they've been doing it like bunnies?!)
Author: philtre
Disclaimer: bwahahhaha. I can barely feed myself, and if I owned them, they would be feeding me. But since I don't, I willingly starve.
Category: Episode Related, First Time, PWP. (literally, that's all)
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Heat (obviously)
Players: Clex. Did you doubt it? In the spirit of the show, Chloe makes a (very) brief appearance.
Summary: In response to ClexFest – "Clark's not sure why the 'pheromone kiss' didn't work on him. Is it because of his invulnerability or some thing else? Maybe women aren't what does it for him. (AnaRae)."
Author's note: Any allusion to a plot is purely incidental. LexMuse just wants to get laid, okay?! Is that too much to ask?
Feedback: You know you want to. All right, you don't. But *I* want you to.
Thank you: my darlings, moss and Kathryn. My apologies for filling up their mailboxes. Any boo boos are entirely and believably mine.

NEW NEWS

How is it that you didn't succumb to Ms. Atkins' pheromone kiss?"

Clark shrugged at Chloe. Sometimes her journalistic curiosity was just a major pain in the ass. "Well, neither did my dad." Might as well use that lie to his advantage. Clark Kent – lying machine. He had it down to an art form.

"So basically the only person affected was... Lex?" This was usually the point where Clark would drop some cryptic remark and make a quick exit, but just the fact that Chloe was actually speaking to him was motivation enough to stick around.

"Well. Yeah. Basically." He could practically see the gears in Chloe's brain turning furiously. Why the hell did she always have to be so logical? Time to distract her.

"Did you want me to proofread that?"

The only reason that they were sitting at the Torch's room together was the fact that Clark had convinced Chloe he was indispensable as a proofreader.

"Yeah." She thrust a pile of papers at him, still frowning.

***

It was hours later when Clark finally got home. The lights at his house were already off. Farm life adhered strictly to "Early to bed, early to rise,' one of his dad's favorite lines. Clark decided to crash at the barn. No point waking up an entire household just because he had been trying desperately to make up to Chloe for deserting her at the spring formal. He had a feeling that that one was going to require quite a bit of work.

Clark stripped down to his boxers, and sprawled on the hammock. Replayed the events of the night. Small talk. Good. Conversations about family. Good. Ms. Atkins' pheromone kiss. Not good.

Why *didn't* she have any effect on him? He did think that she was exceedingly hot. Scorching, vampish hot. Not the ethereal beauty that Lana exuded, or the plucky exuberance that Chloe radiated. No, this was pure unadulterated sex.

Clark glanced surreptitiously around the loft. He knew there was no one there, but better safe than sorry. Back to Ms. Atkins. She was definitely the hottest babe since... well, Britney Spears. Clark slid a hand underneath the waistband of his boxers, lightly touching the insides of his thigh. That dress she had worn on the first day of class. The way that she wiped the sweat on her beautifully shaped calves.

He could just imagine her fingers wrapped around his cock. Clark fisted himself tightly. Some people just emanated sex. Ms Atkins, for sure. Victoria Hardwick. *stroke* The image of her wet luscious body had burned a permanent spot in his mind. That reporter. What was her name? Right, Carrie Castle. *stroke* Lex.

*Whoa!* Clark jerked his hand away from his cock as if it was on fire. What the hell? Where did that come from!? He was well aware that his dick was still resolutely tenting his boxers. Being aroused by images of your best friend was *not* a good thing. Was it?

"Fuck." Shit. He couldn't believe he just said fuck. Oh. This was not good at all. Especially when unintentional snippets of Lex shoved their way insistently to the front of his brain. Damn. Lex was hot. That sleek, lean body. Those endless, pale crystalline eyes. The velvety thick, luxurious voice. Those slender, perfectly groomed hands. That taut, tantalizing ass.

Oh, he so did not go there. What the hell was wrong with him? Then it hit him like a jet of ice cold water on a stiflingly thick, hot day.

"Oh, God. I'm a gay alien in Kansas."

***

"I've been expecting you." Lex straightened as he unceremoniously dumped his cue on the pool table.

Clark's eyes widened. How the hell did Lex know that he wanted to talk to him about being gay?

"I swear that the accident with the Lamborghini was a complete fluke."

Of course! The accident. Lex really needed to be more careful. "You really need to be more careful."

"It's hardly my fault that the brake line was faulty. Besides, I was safely buckled in and the tree more than adequately stopped the car."

He wasn't quite sure why Lex felt the need to explain himself. "I'm glad you're okay." That was the honest truth.

"And now that you've satisfied yourself that I'm fine." Lex threw a cue stick at Clark. "Let's play some pool. You rack ‘em." Lex gestured in the general direction of the table as he made his way towards his bar.

***

Lex was circling the pool table predatorily. *God, Lex is beautiful*. Eyes furrowed in concentration, calmly assessing his options. Utterly unaware of the effect that he was having on Clark. Lightly fingering his cue. What Clark would give to have those fingers lightly brushing his...

Clark pulled his mind away from that train of thought. He really didn't need to encourage his hardening cock.

"A Ford truck for your thoughts?" Lex was pointing his cue at Clark. God. Hard wood. Shook the thought from his head.

"I don't think they're worth that much."

Lex was suddenly standing very close to him. "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

Clark gave him what he hoped was a casual smile.

"Come on, Clark. The moment you stepped into the room, you looked as though you had something weighing heavily in your mind." Lex's hand was on his shoulder, squeezing slightly. Clark's mouth went painfully dry.

"How do I tell if I'm gay?" Oh *fuck*! Did that just come out of his mouth?

"*What*?" Lex jerked his hand back.

Clark froze. What happened to his brilliant segue? This was *not* supposed to happen. He was supposed to be smooth and suave, twenty shades of James Bond. This was definitely not Bond-worthy. Lex was still standing way too close.

"Would you kiss me so that I can be sure?" Oh my God! He was just digging himself deeper into purgatory! *What the hell is wrong with you, Kent? Snap out of it! You're embarrassing.*

"*What*?"

Shit! What was he doing? Oh God. He had read all of Lex's signs wrong. Of course! Idiot! Lex smolders at *everyone*. Lex smolders at pool cues! Who the heck was he? Just some idiotic farm hick with a huge crush on a sexy billionaire. "I'm sorry. . . I... of course you don't... I didn't mean to... " He was staring a hole into the carpet and was probably the shade of an overcooked lobster.

There was a ripe, bloated silence in the air as Clark continued to stare at the ground. Too petrified to move.

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

The next thing Clark knew, fingers firmly tilted his head up and scorching lips were pressed firmly against his. He parted his lips in a gasp of surprise, and an insistent tongue immediately plunged into his mouth. *Oh God*! Breathing was overrated. He blatantly molded himself against Lex, needed to feel that hard lean body against his.

Needy fingers threaded through his hair, pulling him infinitely closer. Tongues battled feverishly as lips sucked and pulled. Clark wanted to hurl himself into that heat. Felt himself being pulled further into pure sex. Rubbing his hard length against Lex, groaning as an equally hard dick bucked against him. *I'm in heaven*. No, heaven had nothing on this.

Lex's hands found their way underneath his T-shirt, frantically waking every last nerve ending on his back. *Yes*. His body battling between the urge to heave into Lex's warm body, or push back against unrelenting hands. Too much clothing. How. . . He pushed against Lex as he leaned back, frenziedly pawing the buttons on Lex's shirt. Trembling hands reached up to help him, pulled the lavender shirt off Lex's flawlessly sculpted chest. *Perfect*.

Clark ran reverent hands up the exquisite expanse, painfully aware of his heavy breathing. Interrupted as eager hands tried to peel off his T-shirt. He lifted his arms agreeably, and immediately pressed his stinging skin against Lex. *Fuck*. The air sizzled empathetically. His cock was so painfully hard against his jeans that he could barely think.

Their lips mashed into each other, teeth clanking as Clark tried to get closer. He could barely tell where Lex ended and he began. All pretense of propriety going up in whirling smoke. Clark was bucking insistently against Lex. *This close*. Hard flesh shoving against hard flesh.

Fell willingly to the ground when pushed. Lex, crawling between his sprawled legs. *I need you*. Fingers were unbuttoning his jeans, zipper down. *God, yes*. His cock lifted in the burning air. Lex's fingers wrapped around his dick, firmly. *Harder*. He arched into Lex. Tongue sinking into his fervid mouth. Wet, hot, urgent.

Words whispered against his lips. Willed the blaze in his head to cool so that he could hear the words. Whispered. "Come for me, Clark. Come." *Fuck, yes*.

He lurched into those fingers. Felt himself spasm uncontrollably. Blinding heat sheathed his entire body, scalding. Fiery flames snarled against his skin mercilessly as he tried desperately to breathe in cooler air. Met with equally blistering lips. Sucked on a searing tongue. Felt himself explode. Too much pleasure. Too much...

***

When Clark finally came to, Lex was still bent over him, trademark smirk firmly in place. He tried to smile, unsure if he actually controlled his own body. Not caring when Lex started sucking on his lower lip. Never wanted to be anywhere else.

"Preliminary evidence..." Gentle nip at his lips. "... indicates that you might indeed have homosexual tendencies..." Lick at the corner of his lips. "... but in the interest of scientific integrity..." Another nip. "... further experimentation is necessary." Lex sucked on Clark's lower lip again.

He groaned as Lex removed himself in one fluid motion. Watched in frustration as Lex reached into a side table to retrieve a bottle. Willed his body to move, but couldn't.

"What are you doing, Lex?" Words! He could still speak.

Thankfully, Lex was almost immediately kneeling between his legs again. Slicking his fingers with viscous liquid from the bottle, while casually draping one of Clark's legs on his shoulder.

"Making sure that you're gay."

***

Hours later, Clark shamelessly wrapped himself around Lex. They were comfortably swathed in the miles of endless blankets on Lex's bed. Clark snuggled closer, wanting to feel every last inch of Lex's skin. Nuzzled against a perfectly smooth neck.

"Lex?" His voice was hoarse.

"Hmmm?" Sure fingers were buried in his hair, stroking ever so slowly.

"Can you make sure I'm gay again?"

***