Title:  Dirty
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: R (For innuendo)
Archive: CLFF
Disclaimer: Well, it'd be totally cool if I did, but not in *this* lifetime.
Feedback: Yes, please. Let's me know I'm loved.
Warnings: Um, not for this, no.
Notes: In response to the CLFF challenge: Lex and Clark have a food fight. (Jezebel the Temptress)
Notes Two: This is more like *after* the food fight happens. I just couldn't come up with a good enough 'plot'.
Summary: Cleaning up can be fun.

DIRTY

 "Lex?"

"Yes, Clark?"

"Wasn't that a fun dinner party?"

"Um, how so?"

"Well, we had all our family and friends there."

::blinks eyes and gives lover an incredulous look::

"You're joking, right?"

"No. Come on, Lex, it was *fun*!"

"Says the man who doesn't have cavier in his underwear."

::squeals of laughter interrupt angry bald man::

"Le-ex, you have to admit, it was great when your dad got chocolate pudding  thrown in his face."

"Heh. Yeah, that one's going on next year's Christmas cards."

"Okay, I'm feeling sticky now, Lex. Shower?"

"Do you have to ask?"

::two sets of feet hit the stairs, sounds of doors banging open and water  running as clothes are  quickly shed::

"Eew, Lex. You look like you got cooties on your dick."

"Cooties?! Clark, you're sixteen not six. Besides, I wasn't lying when I  told you I had gotten cavier down my pants."

::snickers and giggles erupt::

"It's not that funny, Clark."

"Says you."

::walks up to lover and quickly swipes away what he can::

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get the fish eggs off. Wouldn't want you to smell fishy."

::more giggles ensue::

"Uh huh. You know, Clark, I'm more concerned you'd smell fishy. I mean, what  with you being an alien and such. I don't really want to suddenly find out  you can lay eggs yourself."

"Lex, if I could, um, lay eggs, don'tcha think I would have done so by now?"

::looks intently at older lover::

"You have a point."

"Come on, Lex. I have the shower set just the way you like it."

"Thank you, Cla...argh!"

::jumps out of shower, shivering::

"Clark! The water is ice cold!"

"Heh, serves you right."

"Why, you, you...grrr!"

::water is turned to a more comfortable temperature::

"Better, Lex?"

"Much. Now you may help me remove the food from off my body."

"Ooo!"

::shower curtain begins to move around along with wet slaps onto tiles::

"God, Clark! It's not a straw! Don't suck so hard."

"Sorry."

::sounds of slurping are faintly heard over the noise of the shower::

"Cl...Clark! I'm gonna..."

"Mmm, Lexilicious!"

"..."

"You alright, Lex?"

"Not really. I'll just make myself comfortable here on the shower floor."

::younger man rolls eyes as he helps lover stand back up::

"It wasn't that spectacular, Lex."

"Says you."

::shower curtain flutters again as the two men finish washing each other,  stepping out of the shower and drying themselves off::

"I *think* I can dry myself off, Clark."

"I was just trying to help."

::major pout and puppy eyes form::

"Oh, stop that. I was joking. I'm just very sensative down there."

"You mean here?"

"Guh! Yes. Um, stop."

"Okay."

::puppy eyes return::

"Clark...give me a second, okay?"

"Okay."

::towels are thrown to the side as the two make their way towards the bed::

"I'm tired, Clark, let's go to sleep."

"..."

"Clark?"

"You know, I'm still kinda interested here."

"So, you are. Lay back and let me take care of that for you."

::massive slurping noises echo throughout the room while the sound of sheets  ripping accompanies it::

"Lex!"

"Clark, you destroyed my two hundred dollar sheets."

"Sorry?"

"Clark?"

"Yes, Lex?"

"I was joking."

"Oh."

::major eye roll by older man::

"Good night, Clark."

"Good night, Lex."

::sound of light switch being clicked off::

"Love you."

"Love you too, Clark."

::minutes later::

"Lex?"

"Yes, Clark?"

"Can we do that again tomorrow?"

"..."

"Lex?"

"Good *night*, Clark."

"Night, Lex."

End