Perhaps it was unfair but he had felt it was the best move since Clark couldn't survive in his world. He refused to watch the man he loved become tarnished by being linked with his name. He knew people still linked the Luthor name with injustice, bribery and corruption regardless of the fact that he had created his own company away from his father that was none of these things.

"Hey, everyone out there in radio land. We have got a brand new feature called Love Connection. Today we will be reading out a letter brought in by one of our staff members and perhaps we will make a love connection. If anyone knows either of the people in this letter, phone in and perhaps we can reconnect them. If you have moved to New York recently from Metropolis listen up, this could be a message for you."

Lex was about to switch off the radio when he heard familiar words. It was the name Clark had used for him. Turning up the volume he listened intently amazed, confused and surprised by what was happening.

"Dearest Alex Angel, You don't know how special you are to me and you don't know how much I love you because I was never brave enough to tell you. You will never know how many hours I spend writing these letters to you, missing the simple pleasure of having you in my life. I know a man's not supposed to cry but I can't help it, the tears flow whenever I think of you and our life together."

Lex's heart ached at the image of Clark sitting alone in his apartment or his fortress of solitude crying. He could count the number of times he had seen his Clark cry on one hand, normally when the man had reached the end of his tether. Lex had locked himself into his apartment after he had moved to New York and cried for the first time since his mother died.

"I miss my refrigerator being full of expensive weird foreign food. I hate the eternal silence. I hate having the remote to myself and I hate this apartment without you. I hate my life. I hate my job; somehow writing doesn't seem important anymore. I hate having no one to argue with. I hate the coffee shop at the bottom of my street because you are not there to have one of those amazingly strong coffees and argue the finer points of human nature with me. I hate triple chocolate donuts because you're not there to frown and describe exactly what is in them. I hate my life without you. I hate myself for not fighting for our relationship.

"I love you. I know loving me was the worst thing that ever happened to you. Your reputation was ruined. What was someone as rich and elegant as you doing with a country bumpkin? I know everyone was accusing you of seducing me and leading me astray. I know everyone hated us being together because I was so young when we first met. I know everyone thought we were sleeping together when I was jailbait despite the fact that you insisted we wait until I was eighteen. It is my fault people doubted your morals, that your career was damaged. You are everything in this world to me. You are my happiness, my best friend, my confidant and my heart.

"I wish I could have told you how much you meant to me. I wish I had admitted that without you I would not want to live. I have become one of the walking dead without you in my life. I exist but I don't live. Mostly I wish you had loved me enough to fight for me but you didn't. You sent your assistant to collect your things as if I wasn't worthy of your attention. You will never know how much it hurt to have someone collect your stuff and casually explain that you didn't want to be with me."

Lex couldn't stop himself from crying as he listened to the words, imagining Clark's despair as he wrote the letter. He could hear the loneliness, pain and self-hatred Clark obviously felt. It was terrifying to realise that he was responsible for making his love feel this way. He had sent Mercy to collect everything from the apartment out of cowardice, knowing that he couldn't look Clark in the eyes and hurt him. He was scum; everyone was right about him being just like his father. Shaking off the feelings the man desperately returned his attention to the radio. He had to listen if only to acknowledge what he had done to the one person that had ever loved him.

"It would amaze you, if you knew how much I loved you. I want to make you mine for eternity and build a life together. I want to ask you to marry me but I won't because it would cost you your dream. I'm glad you don't have me in your life because you can still achieve your dream. I love you too much to take it away from you."

`MARRY ME! He wants to marry me,' Lex thought in amazement having assumed Clark had never felt that deeply for him. A part of him had thought Clark had confused hero-worship and gratitude with love and desire. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened, he had done the same thing himself when he was younger. Lex knew how important marriage was to Clark and what it meant on his love's planet. Clark had explained that on Krypton a marriage was literally for life and the death one partner meant the death of the other.

"I'll be okay without you eventually. I'm not going to self-destruct because it would hurt you. I won't take risks and I promise not to do anything stupid, well stupider than normal. I love you too much to make you feel guilty that I fell apart because you left me. I will forever love you with all my heart and I'm always here if you need me. I will never hate you because you left me. I know it was the best thing for you and I'm happy that you have a good life in New York. I understand it was the best move for you and sometimes you have to look out for yourself.

"I will never post this letter. I just needed to talk to you and since I couldn't talk to you the letter made a good substitute. I miss you so much at times that I feel I cannot survive without you and occasionally writing about my feelings helps me deal.

I love you my Alex Angel. CJ."

Lex stared at the radio in shock wondering if it could be a letter for him before realising it had to be. He knew there couldn't be that many people called Alex Angel who had a lover called CJ. No one knew of their pet names for each other as they had used them in private as he didn't want anyone to know how important Clark was to him. The names had come into creation after a long night of talking about the annoying pet names some couples gave each other after witnessing Lana's boyfriend calling her Pookie.

Lex never realised Clark felt so deeply for him or perhaps he had been blinded by his own fears? Getting out of bed he started throwing clothes into a bag wanting nothing more than to be with Clark and give him an answer to his question. All he had to remember was that Clark had already confessed his feelings even if the man refused to tell him in person.

"Get the plane ready. I'm going to Metropolis in twenty minutes," Lex said into his phone knowing that his personal assistant would have everything ready. The woman knew better than to mess up or else she would be fired.

Lex opened the door of the apartment carefully not knowing if Clark was inside and not wanting to get attacked if he was caught by surprise. Looking around he was dismayed to see Clark's possessions were still in boxes even though the man had been living here for months.

"Lex, what are you doing here?"

Lex spun around swallowing nervously at the sight of a towel clad Clark, water droplets glinting invitingly on tanned shoulders. How could he have let Clark go when it was so clear now that the man was everything that mattered? Looking closer he could see pain and misery his former lover's beautiful green eyes.

"I accept your proposal, baby. They read your letter out on the radio here and in New York about three hours ago," Lex said softly unsure if he was going be kicked out street since he had ignored all of Clark's attempts to contact him after their split.

Clark sighed, "I didn't mean for anyone to find the letter, it must have fallen out of my brown overcoat. I should buy a new one but some part of me must enjoy the misery of wearing the first thing you ever bought me."

"I'm sorry for hurting you. I thought it was the best thing to do for you. I knew people would treat you differently because of me and perhaps try to hurt you. I didn't want the beautiful man I love to be destroyed and ruined by the darkness of my world."

Looking into the now pleading eyes of his love Clark vented his anger, "You always were one for pretty words, Lex. It was *my* choice to be involved with you! I *chose* to live in your world because I would be okay as long as I had you. I knew you would not let me become lost or tarnished but you were too afraid to see that. You are a fucking *coward*, Lex!"

Stepping closer Lex admitted, "I am. I'm sorry I was too insecure but you are everything to me and I know no one can exist in my world without becoming tarnished or jaded."

"So I become a little tarnished so long as you are there to help me, it would be okay." 

Before Clark could say another word Lex said, "I know you think my life would be better without you but you are wrong. I need you. Nothing matters without you. I love you, Clark. I'm sorry for letting my fears destroy us. I can't survive with you, please. I feel like I've been slowly dying since you left."

"I love you too, Alex. If we get back together, you cannot make a decision like this without me. We are together and we will deal with anything together. Since we have problems vocalising a problem I have an idea that may help. We will keep the picture taken from my graduation day on the fireplace and move it into the bedroom if we have a problem. What do you think?"

Hearing his love use his special name caused a tear of happiness to escape as Lex vowed, "It is perfect. I promise that I will consult you before making any decisions that affect us both. I love you, CJ. Can we get married?"

"How about we consider ourselves engaged and get married in say a year or two? I want to deal with all our issues first." Clark said hesitantly not wanting his mate to hate him for putting off their marriage.

"It is sensible. Would you consent to wearing a ring? I had them made a couple of months after we started dating before I let my insecurities rule my heart."

"I would love to wear your ring," Clark said with a smile as his love took a black ring box from his pocket.

Opening the box he had held onto for so long Lex took one ring and delicately placed it on Clark's amazingly long, beautiful and tanned finger. Placing a kiss on the ring, he held out the velvet box waiting for Clark to place the ring on his finger.

"I love you, Lex." Clark vowed as he took out the ring examining it closely and smiling widely as he read the Kryptonian words, `Kal- El's.' It was pleasing to see Lex knew he needed to have his name on his lover and to wear his lover's name. Tattoos were out of the question since they would draw too much attention so their rings would have to do.

Clark smiled widely as he placed the ring on Lex's finger, feeling inside that this was how it was supposed to be. He had learned the hard way that sometimes it was better to accept his instincts instead of fighting them especially when it came to his relationship with Lex.

"Why don't you and get dressed, love? I'll fix something for us to eat," Lex suggested knowing his love had probably been neglecting himself as was typical when Clark was upset.

Lex smiled as Clark did as requested with little more than a smile. It was interesting to realise that they hadn't even kissed even though they had gotten back together. Walking into the kitchen Lex searched for food realising how little there was, made him wonder if his green-eyed boy had been eating at all. Mixing together ingredients for a Spanish omelette Lex started humming happy again now that he had Clark back.

"It smells gorgeous, Lex." Clark whispered into his love's ear before biting the inviting ear lobe.

Resisting the urge to drag his love into the bedroom Lex suggested, "Why don't you set the table?"

Clark did as ordered knowing from the tone that Lex was entirely serious, it made sense he supposed. If they had something to eat they would have plenty of energy left for the inevitable make up sex.

Lighting the candles sitting on the table with his heat vision Clark smiled widely at Lex as the man sat down. Picking up their knives and forks the pair ate in happy, comfortable silence. They had some problems but they would deal with everything together and that was all that mattered.

The End

On The Radio, by Donna Summer

Someone found the letter you wrote me
On the radio
And they told the world just how you felt
It must have fallen out of a hole in your old brown overcoat
They never said your name, but I knew just who they meant
I was so surprised and shocked, and I wonder too
If by chance, you heard it for yourself
I never told a soul just how I've been feeling over you
But they said really loud, and said it on the air
On the radio...

Don't it kind of strike you sad when you hear our song?
Things are not the same since we broke up last June
The only thing I wanna hear is that you love me still
And that you think you'll be comin' home real soon
It kind of made me feel pride when I heard him say
You couldn't find the words to say it yourself
And now in my heart I know I can say what I really feel
Cause they said it really loud and said it on the air
On the radio, on the radio, on the radio

If you think that love isn't found on the radio
Tune right in, you may find the love you lost
'Cause now I'm sittin' here with the man I sent away long ago
They found me really loud and said it really loud
On the radio, on the radio, on the radio...