Title: Anybody listening?
Author: M. F. Luder
Email: mfluder@ec-red.com
Fandom: The O.C.
Pairing: Ryan/Seth
Category: Romance
Summary: Crawling out of bed at night.
Song Challenge: Queencr˙che -- "Anybody listening?"
Author's note: Written for "The Song title Challenge" at kardasi.com.
To Vera, who loves the boys; and to Nortylak, thanks for helping me out.
by M. F. Luder
*****
For him, it's fun.
It's a challenge.
Well, not much of a challenge, for he's been doing it since he was six, but a challenge nonetheless.
It's a little after one and he can't sleep. Nothing out of the ordinary.
There are times like this, when he's lying on the bed, eyes open, blinking every few seconds, gazing up at the ceiling, scrutinizing the brush strokes, the small dents on the plaster of his roof, wondering what exactly the painter his mom hired was thinking about.
There are some lines, not many, but some, and Seth sometimes thinks of them as words. He pretends to read them, to see them, to imagine that they move, and he entertains himself this way.
He's learned how to do that, to have fun by himself. He's an only child, and he never had many friends. He learned to ride his bike alone. He learned how to swim alone. And he learned how to have a conversation all by himself.
Now, however, things are slightly different.
After watching the lines on his roof, and certain they haven't changed since the last time he stared at them, Seth stands up.
He picks up his green robe -- his favorite of all his robes -- and he doesn't care if his mom tells him that robe is far too old and smelly to keep on wearing it. Putting it on, he walks to his door, ear against the wood.
He hears nothing outside -- his parents are probably out asleep, and opens it slowly.
He creeps out, on his toes, no shoes because he knows they make noises.
He walks downstairs, slowly, and pauses at the end of the staircase.
Seth expects to hear something, someone.
There was a time when his mom caught him there, right there, standing in the middle of the kitchen. She had been downstairs, having a cup of coffee because she still had some work to finish. He had been quick and swift, telling her he couldn't sleep either and had come downstairs for a glass of milk. He's good at making things up on the spot.
When he doesn't, when there is no sound, not even a whisper of the wind, he smiles to himself.
He opens the glass doors slowly, and he's glad that his father finally oiled the door. He had feared it'd creak.
He does a little dance, just a twirl and a jump, the moment he's out of the house.
He's made it, safe and sound, with no one on his back. He's like the knight that slayed the dragon, only he's not a knight because, well, he could never handle a sword. And there is no dragon, only the fact that he was able to get out of the house silently.
So, yeah, maybe not a knight slaying a dragon, but he's cool nonetheless.
Very Batman like because the Bat is stealth and silent and all those cool things.
The wind picks up, just a notch, but it's enough for him to pull his robe tighter around himself.
Still, he smiles.
He walks towards the pool, eyes fixed on the blue water.
He had always loved the water, whether in a pool or in the ocean itself.
There was something about it... something calming, relaxing. Maybe it had to with the fact that he didn't need a partner, or a friend, to go swimming. That probably was a good reason why he fell in love with the water at an early age.
Seth frowns, thinking back to when he was just a kid, when he was four or five. He tries to remember if he ever asked for a brother.
He doesn't remember. Maybe it's because he really doesn't remember farther back than last week -- he's got a thing with short-term memory, lapses here and there, and he tells himself it's not because he's crazy, but because there are so many things to think about, so much of his brain consumed with comics and video games, he can't possibly remember everything else. But, at the same time, he thinks that maybe he never really asked for a brother.
That'd be really weird.
Somehow, since he was a child, he's always felt slightly alone, slightly left out.
No more, not now, sure, but back then, he did.
He shrugs inwardly, continuing his journey, grin making its way to his lips when his eyes fall onto the body sprawled over the bed, hand thrown carelessly over tanned chest, the other hand hidden under a pillow.
Seth can't stop smiling.
When he couldn't sleep and the shapes of his ceiling had gotten too boring -- or the shapes of the rest of his room had gotten too scary -- Seth would come downstairs and just watch the pool. Once he had been tempted to go to the beach while his parents were sleeping, but he feared that, if something happened, no one would know he was outside, and no one would be there to help him.
Now, instead of just sitting by the edge of the pool, feet touching the water and splashing it around, waiting for his eyelids to drop, he can come downstairs, seat by the edge of the pool, and watch Ryan sleep.
He sighs softly, under his breath, and tilts his head.
The curtains are pulled back for reasons unknown to him -- Ryan has a habit of putting them down before going to bed. He's lucky, though, because otherwise he wouldn't have been able to see anything.
He hears Ryan's even breathing, the only sound against the unusual quiet night. The ocean, not far away, is barely a murmur against the soft whispers coming from Ryan's lips.
Seth crosses his legs, letting his weight pull him down and he falls on his butt with a soft plop. It doesn't hurt much, his attention focused on something else.
He likes watching Ryan sleep.
He doesn't know why; he can't even answer it himself on the few times he actually wonders about it, though only in the solitude of his room, on the quiet of his mind. He doesn't think he can ask the question aloud. Someone might hear him.
He likes watching Ryan sleep.
Ryan doesn't tend to fall asleep easily, or with people around him. That's really weird of him.
Seth frowns.
Or maybe not. Maybe, where he comes from, falling asleep around strangers isn't really safe, might get him into trouble, or worse.
Seth doesn't want to think about the worse.
There have been times when Seth and Ryan had stayed up until late, two or three in the morning, studying, and no matter how tired Ryan was, he'd never do more than pinch the bridge of his nose. Seth, on the other hand, has fallen asleep on Ryan's bed numerous times. It's comfy, and with the closed doors, there's this musky and sweet smell on the air that, not only reminds him of Ryan, but makes him want to cuddle.
Seth doesn't think about that either.
He's fallen asleep on Ryan's shoulder. Once, only once, but he has. They were driving back from a visit to one of Sandy's cousins, tired from the trip, very late at night (or early in the morning, Seth isn't very sure) and Ryan was just sitting there, next to him. It felt so right, so natural, just to tilt his head, rest it on Ryan's shoulder, and close his eyes.
He probably drooled, he's almost certain that he drooled, on Ryan's shirt, but Ryan didn't say anything. Ryan didn't complain, didn't even comment on the fact.
Seth only remembers a slight shake on his shoulder and Ryan's soft words letting him know that they were home, wouldn't he be more comfortable in his own bed and doesn't he want some help getting to his room?
Seth yawns.
Watching Ryan is actually working, it's actually making him sleepy.
Seth wonders how Dawn could have left Ryan here, alone.
Not alone, because there's his mom, and his dad, and him to take care of Ryan, but alone nonetheless. Not with his family, not his real family, not his blood family.
He doesn't get Dawn, not that part of her.
Family.
Seth considers Ryan family. He doesn't know anyone who knows him as well as Ryan does. He doesn't trust anyone as much as he trusts Ryan.
He doesn't care for anyone as much as he cares for Ryan.
Seth swallows thickly.
Maybe thinking about that isn't wise, isn't practical, and why doesn't he just forget about this little piece of information for the moment?
The corners of his lips twitch upward, his eyes lowering to the tile floor, and he sighs softly.
Ryan is more than family.
Ryan...
Ryan is everything.
"Seth?"
The words surprise Seth, and he looks up, startled, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.
Ryan is standing before him, wearing only his blue boxers, hair sticking everywhere, hand scratching the back of his head, the other one covering his mouth as he yawns.
"Seth, what are you doing here?" He turns, looking around the pool. "What time is it? What happened?"
"Nothing, nothing happened." Seth stands up, chuckles nervously, shrugging his shoulders and wonders just what exactly he can tell Ryan to get away from this one. "I... I couldn't sleep."
"Huh?"
Ryan looks cute when confused.
Seth doesn't think about that either. He wonders if he has to make a list of things he can't think about.
"I couldn't sleep. I was lying on my bed, my eyes wide open and not tired at all. I know, I know, how can I not be tired when we had both Math and French today, but I have no idea, dude. I was just so very awake and then..." He yawns, and doesn't he have great timing. He didn't even need to finish that sentence.
Ryan rolls his eyes, not surprise in the least that Seth's explanation makes no sense whatsoever. When do his explanations make sense, anyway?
He turns around, walking back into the pool house, leaving Seth standing there, robe open, a frown on his face. Ryan does his best not to chuckle at Seth. He does confused so well.
Ryan lies down on his bed, on his side, and closes his eyes.
"Ryan?" Seth pauses, then sighs. "Hmmm... well, then. I'm gonna..."
Ryan snorts, pulling back his beige sheets, scooting over to the side of the bed. "Are you gonna get in here, or what? And close the door, it's windy out there."
Seth frowns for a second before his brain kicks in, and he does a little leap as he starts walking. He closes the door behind him, taking off his robe and lying down by Ryan's side.
"Dude, thanks."
Ryan says nothing, air leaving his nose slowly.
Seth stays on his back and wonders if he can turn around, facing Ryan.
Ryan lets out a long sigh.
Better not.
Seth can't sleep on his back, so he takes his chances and turns around, his back to Ryan. He doesn't dare face Ryan. He's on his left, and he can't sleep on his left.
He sighs.
"You can't sleep on your left."
Seth grimaces. "Hmmm..."
"Turn around, would ya?" Ryan yawns. "You won't sleep on your left, and you won't let me sleep, so turn around."
Seth does as told, turning on his right, eyes gazing at Ryan.
Ryan has his eyes closed, his face relaxed. Ryan's left hand is under the pillow, and his right arm is draped over his waist. Seth smiles.
"Sleep."
Seth nods, though Ryan can't see him. "I'm sleeping."
A snort. "Yeah, right. Close your eyes and sleep."
"I am."
"Close your eyes."
Seth waits. Ryan couldn't possibly know...
"Close your eyes."
Well, apparently Ryan does know Seth that well. Seth closes his eyes.
"Good. Now, sleep."
With a smile on his face, Seth does as told.
In the middle of the night, when the moon is hidden behind dark clouds, Ryan scoots closer to Seth, and drapes his right arm over Seth's chest and side. In response, Seth half lays over Ryan.
And when they wake up, they are all tangled, arms and legs.
It feels only natural for Seth to kiss Ryan.
It's even more natural when Ryan kisses Seth back, a tangle of arms, legs and sheets.