Author: kira-nerys
Title: Riker’s Island
Rating: PG
Series: TNG
Pairing: Picard/Q, Riker
Summary: Riker doesn’t really know when to shut up, does he?
Note: For Stephen’s Bad Title Challenge
Feedback: kira at kardasi dot com.

Riker’s Island

“Oh shut up, you dunderhead,” Q hissed and waved his hand at Riker. “You annoy me.”

“You should talk, you untrustworthy scoundrel!” Riker retorted and moved closer to Q.

“Come now, boys. Don’t fight.” Picard said and lifted his hands soothingly. “Number One, remember your place on this ship and how important you are to the rest of us,” Picard continued and shot him a poignant look.

“Yes, indeed. Do remember your place,” Q snorted, and waved his hand once more at Riker, who suddenly found himself wearing a dress and a wig. He looked quite handsome in fact, Q decided. “You are the little woman, aren’t you? Under your captain’s thumb?”

“Oh, shut up, Q!” Picard said. “We’re never going to get him to understand if you keep baiting him like that!”

“My, my, mon capitain, do I detect a hint of jealousy? Do you want a dress too?” Q suddenly looked at him with interest in his eyes.

“Q!” Riker roared and flew at the entity with his arms out-stretched. Q waved his hand nonchalantly and Riker disappeared in a flash of light.

“What did you do to him, Q?” Picard asked tiredly.

“Oh, don’t worry, love. I sent him off to Riker’s Island, a little place on the Bajoran home world. I decided that he needed to cool off,” Q said and reached out for his lover.

“Perhaps you’re right. Number One can get a little overzealous sometimes,” Picard admitted.

“Absolutely. Besides, I hope you do remember that I am your one and only number one now, Jean-Luc,” Q pouted.

“Always, Q. Always.”

They kissed, and somewhere in the Bajoran star system an upset scream could be heard.
“Q! You bastard. I’m going to kill you!”

If only Riker took his time and explored the island, he’d see that it wasn’t really such a bad place, Q decided. He could stay there for a day ... or two.

END